I have three children and my two oldest ones just don't understand the money doesn't grow on tree's. I feel very sad today and I'm praying...any advice? I feel like they dont' love me b/c I can't afford things and they even told me they don't love me....thank God I have a little girl who is a blessing, and hugs a lot back!
2006-09-16 05:39:51 · 16 answers · asked by Cinderella 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
They are both old enough for jobs but want me to find them a job! I work, and I"m lucky if I get 5-6 hours of sleep each night, I wrote their resumes and they have handed some out but wish for me to ask my friends/contacts for jobs. They both asked me for example 20.00 for the day, my 16 year old said "fine you don't give it to me, I"m moving out, I was on my way to a shower..I'm working at 2EST and he was going to shut off my water!!! I don't understand I never spoke to my parents the way children do to their parent's today. Strange thing is...all their friend's would give anything to have their room etc. They just don't appreciate it. I tell them I love them everyday each and every one of them and hug too...
2006-09-16 05:58:22 · update #1
Don't feel bad. Teenagers will try to put you on a guilt trip because they think that it will push you to give in. They know that the money isn't there for all the things they want.
I don't worry about when my teenager tells me she "hates me". I always tell her that if she didn't "hate me" once in awhile it would mean that I'm not doing my job (as a parent). The words come out of their mouths but they do not really hate you. Peer pressure can be very hard on kids these days. Just stick with it and don't take everything too personal. If you are doing the best you can, that is all you can do.
If they are old enough to get part-time jobs, then that is what they should do. Then they will earn the money for the extra things they want.
2006-09-16 05:50:09 · answer #1 · answered by Ragdoll 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't win or loose with teenagers ... you survive!
Keep doing your best, give the love, be there for them all.....one day they will look back and ask "How did mom do it?" The cold reality of the world we become self evident when they start to work and pay bills.....
Oh yeah ...'bout the little girl ...If no one ever shared this with ya ...sorry But I have not yet met a young girl who in her teenage years didn't (at some time) hate her mom. It the growing up part of becoming a young adult. Just remember when it gets really bad throw chocolate...... you can eat some too!!
Parenting "The only true Life Sentence"!
2006-09-16 12:51:08 · answer #2 · answered by John 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just like our parents said to us "they need to learn the value of money." I don't know if you are a working mom or not. Maybe you've always been there for them and they don't know what it is to have a mom who has to work. Try disconnecting the cable or satellite for awhile as TV peddles all the materialistic stuff on everyone and makes it like if you don't have this your life isn't worth it. So make them aware they are being sold a "bill of goods" and having all those things won't make them more worthwhile human beings. Maybe they could volunteer at the hospital or places where there are seriously needy people see that their life is pretty good. Sorry this is so long.
2006-09-16 12:53:41 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest you don't give them any spending money - let them find jobs - they can start out with very unglamourous jobs, like mowing lawns and shovelling snow - working as bag boys at a grocery store - etc. It's not big money but they'll have earned it honestly. When they've proved themselves they will be able to apply for other jobs.
But they will not be willing to do these things if they can get a minimum of spending money the easy way from you. As others have said, they'll "hate" you for a while, but it won't last. If you don't do this right, your youngest one will follow in their footsteps.
2006-09-16 15:09:15 · answer #4 · answered by Mr Ed 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't have kids of my own but being a young adult, I know how your teenagers may be feeling. Its hard to be a teenager these days. They feel a lot of pressure to keep up with the trends, and that means buying expensive clothes. I would suggest taking your teenagers to a stores like TJ Maxx, or Marshalls where they can find designer clothes for a lot less. Or even go yourself, and pick them up a few thigs. They'll never know you didn't get it from the real designer store.:)
2006-09-16 12:47:40 · answer #5 · answered by Gabriela 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry about that. That's a pain. Here's the deal. They've found they can "get" you by complaining about money or lack thereof, you feel guilty and they "get" something. Maybe it's money from you or maybe it's just satisfaction as you feeling guilty. They're playing a game and you are the victim. When you stop being the victim, they'll stop their harassment. How? You say, "That's what we've got, there isn't any more and you've got to like it or lump it--your choice."
IF you do that, they'll quit their game playing.
2006-09-16 12:49:42 · answer #6 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did nit have much growimg up ahter my mom divirced, but before that I was spoiled and she sisn't spend a lot of time with us. I would've ratheer had love than stuff. But it is hard for teenagers to grasp that. I would make the little ungratefuls get a job and contribute to the household income and use whtever you give them for their own purchases. One day they will come around-it is just a very matrialistic world and kids get caught up in it all too easy.
2006-09-16 12:44:27 · answer #7 · answered by yummymummy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aw shucks mom, I know the feeling. To this day I feel like crap when I think about how my son didn't have lots of cool clothes. He never complained altho he should've. I could cry when I think about all the times he had to walk to school in the freezing cold and we had no food on the table, it was really that bad.
Learn to sew, kids like having lots of nice clothes more than anything else. Write to me and let's see what we can figure out. I am a very resourceful old broad and know many resources in my old age.
Linda
2006-09-16 12:43:44 · answer #8 · answered by Linda 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some times it is just best to teach them the lesson the hard way. Tell your teenager to get a job. It is time they learn how to make the money they spend. I dont believe mom and dad should foot the bill for everything.
2006-09-16 12:43:44 · answer #9 · answered by my_hart2hart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it from me, I am a teen and i have an older sis in college who was just like me. When us teens say we hate our parnets we dont mean it. we may be really angry but it is part of being a teeen. My sister now always talks to my parents and everything works out. You sound like a really good mom so just keep up the good work. Make sure to tell ur teens u love them noo more than 2 times a week or they feel uncomfortable. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-16 12:43:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋