We decided to have children using a donor sperm. It was a hard decision but my kids are amazing. My kids love their father and have no idea about this.
They are now too young to be told. I think its important for them to know someday. Anyone else out there have children using a donor sperm or egg? What did you do?
2006-09-16 05:17:01 · 14 answers · asked by motormank 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think its amazing that you and your husband have chosen this method to have children. It is a tribute to him that he is a strong enough man to accept this and love his children with all he has. I think your children have the right to know how they came to be. Everyone has their own story...this is theirs. I think that they will have enough respect for their father that they will not want to hurt him. You should start their story now, so when it gets to the point that the need to know more they will feel strong enough to ask. Family secrets are not good. Keeping something a secret is like saying that its bad, and they are not the product of something bad or shameful. Plus, they may find out anyway. Wouldn't you want them to know from you in a loving way rather than being told by some family member that "thought they already knew" or by someone trying to be spiteful? good luck. They are lucky kids.
2006-09-16 16:44:45 · answer #1 · answered by CrissKross 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No I have never used a sperm donor, I think it's awesome and they sound like wonderful children with two loving parents! What else would matter? When they're old enough, yes they should be told. You both sit down with them to explain. Unconditional love will see you all through, tell them the truth and what a miracle they are and how blessed you are!
2006-09-16 12:23:15 · answer #2 · answered by tamara.knsley@sbcglobal.net 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I haven't experienced using a sperm bank but, I don't see why you kids would be upset about it. I would imagine somewhere there is a support website or group for those kind of issues. In my opinion you wanted to have a child and was willing to do what was necessary to have a child. That sounds like you have the grounds to have deep love for your kids. Kids being wanted is important.
2006-09-16 12:24:03 · answer #3 · answered by PatChat 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well I'd find better words to use than sperm donor and eggs when I tell them for one thing. Sheesh. Fortunately you have many years to figure out a warmer way of putting it.
Linda
2006-09-16 12:20:27 · answer #4 · answered by Linda 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you decide to tell them, don't talk about donor sperm and eggs and all that. Just tell them that you wanted to have them and you and daddy weren't able to do it on your own, so the doctor performed a procedure to make you pregnant.
2006-09-16 12:36:45 · answer #5 · answered by ladyg 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
DON'T - DON'T - DON'T !!!!!!!!!!!
Why would you ever want to tell them this? What GOOD would it do????? Please, please, please -- their father is the only father they need to know about --- he's the one who's there everyday for them, who loves them, whom they love, whom they call "dad" --- you don't need to ever tell them that the sperm that fertilized your egg came from a sperm bank and not your husband. Certainly not while they are children anyways. And probably not even when they are adults, unless there is some weird genetic thing going on with them ***AND*** (and this is important) if you know enough genetically about the sperm donor to be able to address whatever genetic situation is calling for you to tell them about the sperm donor in the first place.
Otherwise, do not even go there. OK?
2006-09-16 12:19:05 · answer #6 · answered by I ♥ AUG 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
well u should get them in ur living room sit them down tell let it process through their minds then say ur sperm donor kids say sorry but i had to tell yall its only right
2006-09-16 12:20:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They aren't too young to be told now. They are too young to understand but if you start telling them now, they will always know and then one day they will ask you what it means.
2006-09-16 12:20:43 · answer #8 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't tell them at all. It doesn't matter where they come from .You love them and they father loves them that is all what matters. God blessed you with babies. Tell them they are a gift from God and let it stay at that. Them knowing will only cause withdrawal. They will think that is theyr'e fault in a way. Please take my advice. Children are gifts from God.
2006-09-16 12:24:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i don't have kids so i don't noe but if i were them in a way id want to noe but then i wouldn't feel as close to my dad if that happened i guess it's different if you would have already knowen all your life well i don't noe but i hope you figure it out i would put your self in there position and see if you would want to noe
2006-09-16 12:23:28 · answer #10 · answered by Quinn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋