Why do people look down their noses to young mums?

Question

why is it people have a problem with being a young mum, its very hurtful and upsetting when somone accuses you off being a tart who cant keep there legs closed....

Answer 1

Because a lot of people perceive that young mothers have children so they can get benefits and a home paid for by other people, namely the rest of the working population.

It's unfair to generalise, but I think that's why it happens.

Answer 2

Some of my closest friends are young single mums. I think it's mainly to do with people who are narrow minded and over-generalising.

My friend was in a stable relationship, she was employed, he was employed and they had a healthy income. They lived together and life was pretty good.

She got pregnant, he knew what he was doing but when he found out, he ran away. He pays very little child support, if any at all. Hasn't paid a penny in the last year at least.

Now she's on her own and people don't say anything, but they look at her in bad ways. I don't like it and never do it, she's a lovely girl and I can't understand why people can be so harsh.

It's true that some people get a baby so they can get a house from their council and we all pay for that. But there's a difference between someone who threw themselves into that situation and expects the state to pay for them, and people who have been dropped into their situation through no fault of their own.

My friend works, has done for a long time. She pays for her own child care. She does get some benefits from the state but she's certainly not sat at home all day complaining about how unfair the world is to her, she's out at work for the most hours she can afford childcare for and looks after her daughter for the rest.

She goes to our work parties where they pay for the drinks but that's about it.

Parents should educate their children about sex and most do but some don't. High school truancy is high. Some people are there only a tiny fraction of the time and only learn about sex from their friends, who are often wrong. Society often fails these people then shuns them when they make the inevitable mistakes of getting pregnant.

I don't look down on young mums that pull their way. At the same time, I don't like people who demand handouts, parents or not.

froggie

Answer 3

I had a baby at 17 and right from the start of my pregnancy people looked down on me, half just thought i was after a council house and benefits and the other half treated me like i was 2 and needed telling how to do the most basic of things.

I know firsthand how hurtful it can be, but you just have to rise above it. I presume that you have a child whom you love loads and that means you have more than a lot of people. As long as you love the kid then what other people think is irrelevant. People can be ignorant to the facts and just lump everyone into the young mums catergory. The best way to deal with it is to SHOW them that you are a good mum, no matter what they may think. Good luck.

Answer 4

Some people get very upset as a lot of young girls get pregnant either to obtain something they either would not be entitled to or would not get if they weren't pregnant (ie more money, housing etc) or else show they don't understand contraception etc etc. Also it depends HOW young a mum is.

I'm not saying any of these are right but you asked the reason and it's not always because they think you're a tart but other reasons too.

Answer 5

Alot of older people see it to where young mothers cannot support themselves , so how can they support a baby ? They always end up on welfare , etc. most of the time. When I had my first I was 18 , but I also had a good paying job , graduated high school at 16 , had my own place and car , and i was married so it wasn't a big deal because I had my stuff together. Now I am 25 , with my second and I still have my stuff together .People will say mean things you just have to ignore them. If you are a young mom and you are doing for yourself w/o any help from family and the government I say you go girl

Answer 6

One of my good friends is a single mom. She was barely 18 when she had her baby. I'm also a single mom but I was 33 when I had mine. Both of us were on the pill and it didn't work.

We went to the same hospital to have our babies. Her experience was so different than mine. She wasn't treated with any kind of respect, and the nurses acted as if she didn't have a brain in her head. They were also VERY rude about the fact that she was single. Her boyfriend was there the entire time, however - they just weren't married yet.

When I had my son, the nurses treated me with a great deal of respect. They said nothing about the fact that I was single, and my son's father wasn't in the picture at the time and wasn't around. She couldn't believe the difference. The nurses would bring me my baby and leave; with her they stayed and tried to tell her how to hold him, how to take care of him, etc.

Young does NOT mean stupid! Everyone is different. My friend has rasied her nephew, who is 3 and has CP. She has far more experience with newborns and kids than I do, yet the hospital (and other people we've come across) assumes that because she's young, she doesn't know the first thing, and since I'm older, of course, they assume I know much more. It's totally unfair.

If people, especially strangers, glare at you or say rude things, just hug your baby and tell them that as long as you and your kid/kids are happy, that's what matters!

Answer 7

people judge young mums on the few horror stories of young and incapable mums who get that way because of a lack of family support or choice. There children seem to be unrully and then history repeats its self and the child becomes a young parent too. However in the society we live in we should praise young mums because young mums can give so much more energy and fun to a childs life unlike people who are trying there best to have a carreer before having children and then having only one child who dosen't get to have much fun. This too is a generalisation, I guess its because people love too judge other people.

Answer 8

I have this same problem i got pregnant with my first baby when i was 18,i come from a small town as well which didn't hep but when i used to go shopping id have people talking about me and coming up to me and asking me what a lovely brother i have.
It still hasn't changed now, i have 2 children and I'm 24 my eldest is 5 youngest is nearly 3.
People assume that young mums live off of benefits and that we bring up our children wrong.
Just ignore them that's what i do Ive got 2 beautiful children and that's what you have to think of ! good luck and try to ignore them :)

Answer 9

it doesn't seem fair to class all young mums as tarts who cant keep their legs crossed even though there are probably lots like that... there are many girls who have found themselves pregnant after being raped or contraceptives have failed... and it takes two to make a baby but we never seem to blame the bastards who sow their oats and run.... it's the women who always get left with the results of men's irresponsible behaviour and who suffer the accusations... media reporting doesnt help either!

Answer 10

do not hardship about regardless of one else thinks, honey, in basic terms save doing what you're doing. yet human beings imagine those days that youthful ladies getting pregnant too early is a nasty determination because they are in basic terms not waiting. Which quite some the time this is authentic and diverse the circumstances the grandmothers and folk ought to %. up the slack. yet what they don't comprehend is, many many many years in the past in case you probably did not have 2 childrens by employing the time you've been your age, you've been considered unusual or regarded down upon. quite some human beings have toddlers lately for authorities funds, it really is why additionally they look down on you. they received't recognize you nicely adequate to entice close that you're doing it on your own. nonetheless, you would possibly want to imagine on the present time, the entire searching down on youthful moms might want to provide up. there are such quite a number of them.

Answer 11

Young mums should not be caring about what other think but the kids they are looking after because some of them DONT KNOW HOW!!! I think they look down due to the fact that they are barely a child themsleves, its society that has put a label on this and most of society has conformed to this and think its a negative think, ppl used to look down at me but I didnt care! children are the future.