I met this guy online over a year and a half ago, he came down to visit me and we have been dating ever since. It WAS not an online romance, he was here almost every month to see me. I tried waiting for him to finish school like he wanted but it was too hard for me and we went through alot. I tried breaking up with him and seeing other guys but I wanted to be with him and he seemed like he wanted me too. After the last breakup I got back together with him cause he was about to finish school and we had always planned on him moving here afterwards. But when the time came he wouldnt do it, he wanted me to transfer from my college and quit my job to move to west virginia with thim. Right after I decided to give up everything to be with him he broke up with me. Where do I go from here??? he was my first boyfriend and all Ive known for a whole year, I feel like a year of my life was wasted and that I was lied to.
2006-09-16 03:46:26 · 16 answers · asked by youdontknowme 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I dont want you to get confused, luckily I hadnt moved just yet, I was about to, I guess the one thing he did do for me was to let me know how he is before it was too late
2006-09-16 04:00:55 · update #1
You have to find someone who loves you.
2006-09-16 05:06:55 · answer #1 · answered by Niceguy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not a waste of time at all. You won't learn to appreciate the "real" thing until you have felt heartache. You are bound to be hurt at some point, that's just how life goes. Take as much grieving time as you need. You don't have to just pick up the pieces and go. I bet he took a big part of you, but you WILL get it back.
For now, get back to doing what you want to do. Whether that means going back to the school you were at, or remaining where you are and finishing. Take the opportunity of school to meet new people. Go out, even if you have to force yourself (sometimes). And last but not least, don't LOOK for a guy, just let it come.
2006-09-16 10:57:34 · answer #2 · answered by Rachael 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Really, its true. Okay, picture this: you're five, and you just got the coolest new bike in the world. You go for a ride, fall off, break you're arm. And for the rest of your life you're afraid of riding your bike again. Or, you realise the only way to conquer your fear is to ride again once your arm is healed...but just be more careful. You never know what's out there until you try.
Okay, that was a cheesy metaphor, but you get the point. A year of your life was not wasted. You spent a year of your life getting experience. Don't rush into another relationship to get over your feelings, but don't vow to never trust a boy again. Time heals everything, so don't let this relationship hold you down. Live your life and enjoy it, and don't go looking for the guy to complete it. He's out there, and you're gonna find him, but at a moment when you aren't looking for him. :)
2006-09-16 10:56:51 · answer #3 · answered by kachelsachel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aw geeze, bummer. But this too shall pass, it always does whether or not you believe it right now. Lesson learned, don't give up everything for a man. Next time that happens you'll know what NOT to do. It was unreasonable of him to expect you to do that. Was it a test? Apparently it was a test you failed, to pass you would've had to have said no. Sounds like a no win situation, if you didn't move then things would've gone on like that forever. You gave up everything and he still dumped you. It happens.
I learned a long time ago how to spot a runner. At the least amt of pressure the idiot gets scared and takes off running. Let me tell you something, men are not as strong as they like us to think. In fact it's my opinion that women are the stronger sex, look at all the crap they dump on us afterall. They think we're the mommies and we should be able to take it all. Well we're human too and men are not our little babies.
You are still growing up and learning. You'll be ok in the long run. He wasn't the one for you because he wasn't loyal. If he leaves today it will only hurt for a little while. If he stays it will hurt forever. That's my motto.
Linda
2006-09-16 10:58:39 · answer #4 · answered by Linda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have waisted nothing....but gained valuable experience.
Never wrap your whole life around one person .... always save a little for yourself. The fact that he wanted you to drop everything so he could have what ever it was he wanted ...shows it wasn't a very two way relationship. Online folks are very interesting, caring (at times) and seem perfect.....it's in the real world folks have problems with thier persona......perhaps in the real world the chinks in his shinny white armor were too apparent and he wasn't able to live the lie in person...
There is no substitute for tripping over a nice person, the daily contact face to face ....yes writing can be very telling ...however seeing how folks interact tells volumes they will never write about!! Think back ... bet ya saw stuff that didn't quite fit the mental picture you got while writing to him?
Your in one piece.....you have your education, and now your 160 pounds lighter that he's gone!!
move on you have learned something alot of perpole have to married with children before it hits them in the face. Always be your self, do what you feel comfortable with. If your ever feel like someone is taking advantage of you ...your right they are.
BE safe, Be happy, Choose well .
2006-09-16 10:57:56 · answer #5 · answered by John 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't expect to just know the answer to something like this. You need to take one day at a time and find time for "you". Learn to be happy with yourself and know that you don't need a guy in your life to be happy. Trust me, I am 37, and have thought I found "the one" so many times.
Nothing you do is ever a waste of your life, it's what we call "life skills" and makes you what you are today. Without making mistakes, you never learn what you really want or need out of life.
The most important person in your life is YOU. Never stay with a guy for the wrong reasons or want a guy who doesn't want you. It was HIS LOSS anyway!
2006-09-16 11:14:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh you poor thing. I am so sorry that happened to you. The only advice I can give is to know that all things that happen in our lives, happen for a reason. They are to teach us something or get us somewhere so that we become the person we are meant to be. Keep in mind we are never given more than we can handle and you will get through this... stronger and happier in the end. My suggestion would be to go home, get back into college and just take one day at a time. Believe or not but one day... when you are with the person you are meant to be with... this will just be one sad memory that got you to where you are.
2006-09-16 10:57:14 · answer #7 · answered by Chloe M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where to go from there is a tough one to answer. I spent 10 yrs of my life with my ex and now that is gone. I can look back at the times we had and see both good and bad. I truly believe that everyone will find that certain someone, other people do so why cant I? right. Chin up and all that cliche stuff, it may hurt now but one day you will find the guy that falls for you just like you fall for him and true love brings compromise from both. Sounds like you were ready to commit but he wasnt. Good luck to you and hope you find the love we all search for.
2006-09-16 11:11:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that is a hard pill to swallow. I recently met someone online and of course he lives in another state, and we like each other alot, but I am scared of the outcome. We want to eventually be together in the same state, but I'm not going to rush things. If it was meant to be it will, if not it wont. And as for the answer to your question, try to move on, I know it's hard and it hurts bad. Keep your head up and try not to focus on it.
2006-09-16 11:01:29 · answer #9 · answered by strawberry jam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pick up the pieces & move forward with your life. Chalk it up to experience not a wasted year. Ask yourself why you were breaking up with him each time. We have to go through a lot to find that "special" one. In your heart, he was your world, but you can find someone again that will feel right. (You're not stupid just inexperienced.)
2006-09-16 11:02:27 · answer #10 · answered by fdrsnail 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT wasnt wasted babe, you learned a lesson of life. If someone loves you they want whats best for you, not whats easy for them, Pick up the pieces one piece at at a time.
2006-09-16 11:02:20 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋