Please put my mind at rest....does he or does he not?

Question

Early days, he conveyed that his taste in girls is the completel opposite of me (to be honest, im the complete opposite of him too)

If i ever used to somehow imply that we were behaving like an old married couple (which in my opinion we still do) he'd make fun and say things like "not in a milion years"

But now, he "jokes" about with me and brings up being "together" himself, like physically and intimately being together....i just try to shrug it off...

Like yesterday he told me to "keep the bed warm for me" - isnt that flirting???
And another time, he was talking about how he wants me to come and look after him because he's ill, and how he'd take care of me if i was ill.....o.O

This isnt normal is it??!!

(Been friends for 8 months - quite close)

ALSO! He talks about other girls to me, "fit" girls who are a potential love interest, he teases me and makes fun of me sometimes, argues with me sometimes over the most stupidest things, online, he talks to me EVERY time.

Answer 1

i think i know what's going on here. similar things have happened to me (on more than one occasion) with platonic female friends.

early on in your relationship, he said something along the lines of you not being his 'type'. he could have been honest about it. or, he could actually have been attracted to you in the beginning, but decided to not express it fearing that you guys wouldn't work out (because of contrasting personalities). whatever the reason, it's clear that you guys had mutually accepted each other as buddies.

shouldn't be complicated right? unfortunately, he's a guy and you're a girl. what's happening is completely normal and natural. he has feelings for you. whether those feeling are old (formerly suppressed) or new (developed through friendship bonding) the point is he is now expressing those feelings. through subtle and not-so-subtle ways, he's testing the waters to see how you react and if you feel the same way.

the ball is now in your court, miss-terious. it's time for you to decide what you want out of this relationship. i get the vibe that you're not feeling the same way, or else you would have mentioned it or even done something about it. unfortunately, at this point, it is highly unlikely that your platonic friendship will ever return to the way it way, not for now at least.

if you don't have feelings for him, it is very important that you let him know. only you can decide how to tell him, be it subtle or direct. but if you choose the latter, i suggest you do it as subtle as possible because it's sounds like he's a shy nice guy (meaning emotionally fragile). oh, and make sure you don't have this 'talk' online.

if you have feelings for him, what are you waiting for? you guys have been friends long enough and if there is genuine chemistry between you two, it is one of those beautiful things (that started through friendship) untainted by lust and what not. if you feel it, just take it to the next level.

whatever it is, just say goodbye to that buddy relationship you once shared. it has blossomed into something more, at least on his part. it's clear he wants to see if you care. i strongly advise against just ignoring it and pretending that he doesn't like you. and you better do or say something about it before he does, or before a third party enters the picture and makes things even MORE complicated.

my last piece of advice, miss-terious, is whatever you do, just make sure you won't regret it later.

good luck.

Answer 2

I had a guy friend like this in high school senior year. We were like best friends and his sister would always joke that some day we will get married because we argue like an old married couple. We loved hanging out together, we would go shopping, eat out together, go to parties, dances, hang out in his room together. And then one day I seen him in a totally different light - I liked him! When we hung out in his room 'alone' I just wanted to pounce on him, but we were friends and I didn't want to ruin the friendship but I also liked him alot, just didn't know how to tell him that. See I knew that he liked me when we first started hanging out but I was getting over an old bf so I didn't give him a second look. NOW I liked him. I couldn't get him out of my mind, he would talk about other girls to me and I would sort of get jealous like, I liked him so I didn't want him talking about other girls, I wanted him to see me. So one day I asked him if he would like to go to the movies and hang out just me and him - like a date.. We did but nothing became of it. I guess the chemistry was lost and we just ended up staying friends, it was hard but better knowing and I moved on.

What I am trying to say here, is that you have nothing to loose. Tell him how you feel, make the first move, either way - rejected or not - you will still have a friend. But I can tell you I feel much better knowing, than not doing anything and always wondering "What if?" So my advice is go for it! : )

Answer 3

i don't think he wants to be more than just mates or maybe he wants to be mates with benefits if u know what i mean! he may like ur conversation and may be falling for u despite the fact that u are not his type (looks) or that u are the opposite of him... they do say that OPPOSITES ATTRACT if u are really close friend i would have a talk to him about it to find out what his feelings towards u really are...u only talks about the stuff that he says...but have u been flirting back and are u sure about the feeling you have for him are not more that just friendship!! make sure about your own feeling before u confront him!! u should be able to talk to him coz ur mates so GOOD LUCK

Answer 4

lol he sounds like my friend wow well we ended up dating for a while off an on were still best friends it sounds like he likes u jus scared maybe because u guys r so dif but hey bein with someone who is jus like u all the time would get old go for it girl if u guys r as close friends as u say u r dont hold back cuz i did n it was harder in the end ya no good luck ;)

Answer 5

Hey ,I really dont think he is into you girl.He is either 1)your friend,or 2)wants to be friends with benifits or 3)he ia using your ***.Set some boundries for yourself.Dont be to available,complient,or codependant.Besides men are here to propogate the speicies(a big no to monogamy)they are a different speicies and cant help their cheating ways.Believe me, more is better as far as woman are concerned!Another f---- knotch is all youll be,to him and very hurt.Somtimes mistakes are the only way we learn.

Answer 6

baby girl, as of right now, not much. he still considers you as a close friend, the kind that can make heavy jokes with and let him open up to you. if you remain friends, eventually it's going to be more than friends. but the main question is; how do you feel about him? do you want him more than friends?

Answer 7

It might be that he is note sure about your feelings and testing you.
It also might be that he is not completely sure about his feelings too.

So... If you would like to be more than a friend with him, give him some signals. Not mixed 'yes-no' signals, but clear 'yes' ones. He may be insecure and afraid not to spoil friendship. So if you want him, let him know. but, put that in that way that it is up to him to decide because if you push to hard, you may loose him as friend.

P.S.
I would say he does.
Cross my fingers for you.

Answer 8

It seems to me maybe he doesnt know where he stands with you either, oppisites attract hun why dont you just talk to him and see what he thinks, what have you to loose, if ye have been friends for this long and are close it shouldnt effect your frienship if you ask him does he fancy you or something as a joke and his reply is yes then go for it. best of luck.

Answer 9

I think he's playing games with you. If he is talking about other girls he sees as "fit" then you may not filt his physicall attractiveness scale. You weren't clear about whether this was strictly an on-line romance or not. If online only, be careful. He may be a predator.

Answer 10

Someone has to make the first move.If you really like him, tell him you want to be his wife.Do this face to face. See his expression. If he is not interested he will definitely avoid you. This is the only way to stop the guessing game. All the best.