I am a single mom of an almost three year old daughter her father and i are no longer together he only recently started paying child support.But i have a a steady boyfriend whom i am engaged too who wants to try for a baby but i dont think i am ready but am going along with it .How can i tell him i am not ready to get pregnant again before marriage?I am scared that after 2 weeks of him trying i might already be i missed my period this week.I really want to make him happy.
2006-09-16 02:49:06 · 23 answers · asked by claire d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I am only 20 and feel another child right now would be wrong i am also in college and want to finish in next year or so. I also would love to travel afterward and have a career.
2006-09-16 02:50:18 · update #1
He really wants this baby in particular a boy
2006-09-16 02:55:07 · update #2
Well, if you don't know how to tell a guy that you are going to marry and spend the rest of your life with that you are not ready for another baby, you shouldn't be marrying him. Communication is the adult way to handle relationships. Sorry to sound so mean, but think about it.
2006-09-16 02:51:45 · answer #1 · answered by just browsin 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
If you're not ready for it then why are you going along with it? You're only 20? Why would you wanna have another baby now? Why not in a few years? Especially if the guy is only your fiancee. How does he know he wants a baby? Did you tell him how it is to look after a baby? If you really want your new man to be happy, tell him the truth, tell him about all the things you wanna do and all the things you missed out doing cuz you were a pregnant teenager. If he loves you then he'll understand. If he doesn't understand, then do what is best for you and your daughter you already have. Maybe he just wants one of his own because he feels like your daughter isn't his?
2006-09-16 03:00:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The decision to have a child is a VERY important one. A child is not something you can put in a yard sale should you decide you no longer want it.
If you are not ready as you stated & feel that the time is just not right, why would you go ahead & have a child?
As far as this man's happiness? Well, what about your happiness & well-being? If this is truly a loving partnership then even tho' he wants a child, he would want you to be ready as well. I question his motives.
And what happens if the child is not a boy???? That is possible.
2006-09-16 04:01:17 · answer #3 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...I guess you say, "I'm really not ready to have another baby right now"...If he can't accept that, then he has no business trying to be a father. One of the things that kids need is mature adults in their life...being raised by someone who is childish enough to not accept where you're at would be one of the worst things you could do for a child.
Definitely, DON'T get pregnant just because you want to avoid a confrontation with your boyfriend!
2006-09-19 10:04:59 · answer #4 · answered by abfabmom1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just want to say, i was a people pleaser all my life until i saw that it is impossible to make people happy all the time. To be honest an issue as serious as this one, which changes your life completely, needs to make YOU happy or you'll only end up regreting it later on in life!
I understand your desire to make him happy, but this is you body and you need to be comfortable with the decision. He won't be carrying a baby for nine months, you will be.
If you want the baby but it's not right for you to go through the birth before marraige then you should try and propose the idea to your partner.
2006-09-16 02:55:31 · answer #5 · answered by Louise M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until you are married. Do you really want to walk down the aisle 8 months pregnant??? Or better yet get married quick then work on the baby. I was 20 when I had my daughter, but I wouldn't walk down the aisle pregnant. I just waited until she was 14 months old. If you are engaged already just get married sooner.
2006-09-17 06:39:29 · answer #6 · answered by ee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to wait until you are married. If he doesn't want to wait, he probably isn't the guy for you. A baby out of wedlock is the last thing you need right now.
Dont' let him push you into having a baby when you aren't ready for.
2006-09-16 03:20:24 · answer #7 · answered by bluechick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seriously need to talk to him. He needs to be aware of how you are feeling. If you are not ready then tell him. It's better you tell him then to have a child that you are not ready for. Especially tell him before you are married, no surprises, that's how marriages get off to a bad start. Just be honest with him, you'll take a big load off yourself and you won't be worried about this anymore.
2006-09-16 02:54:04 · answer #8 · answered by lynn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to be honest and tell him how you feel about the situation. If he truly loves you he will respect your feelings. The main thing is to COMMUNICATE with each other. As you already know, bringing a child into the world is a huge responsibility. Any child deserves for both parents to be behind the conception/birth 100%; otherwise, don't do it.
2006-09-16 02:53:30 · answer #9 · answered by ladybug75840 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you doing something against your will? You have doubts and say you are not ready to have a child. What if you do and he walks out on you? now you're a single mom with two kids. Use protection and tell him you are NOT ready, if he insists then get away from him, he neither loves or respects you.
2006-09-16 02:53:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋