I'm totally in love with my girlfriend, we were best friends for 3 years before we got together about 2 months. Our friendship has always built up to us as a couple and I am so lucky to have her - I'd do anything so that she was happy.
Anyhow, she's very much a person who doesn't like to talk about their feelings. She's not shy or quiet or anything, but she just doesn't feel very "comfortable" expressing herself, I think. Due to this, I feel I make all of the effort in telling her how I feel and I get nothing back. She never tells me she misses me, likes me, wants to spend the day with me... unless I ask her to meet up, she won't, too.
I've talked to her about it and she claims it's just the way she is, but I don't think it's fair that I have to be the one who always tells her how much I love her and how much I want to see her.
I don't think she understands how exactly her not telling me how she feels could be a problem, but I'm the sorta guy who likes to talk things out.
2006-09-16 02:42:56 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
All I want is the occassional "I miss you" or, "I love us being together." Not even a lot. Is that so much to ask? When I told her about it, she just went into a mood and went, "I can't do anything right, can I? Anything ELSE I can do while your at it?"
I'm so stuck, because I'd never break-up with her, I just want to feel like she likes me.
Which I know she does, truly. A lot.
2006-09-16 02:45:48 · update #1
Relax, it's only been 2 months. Just take it step by step.
She is probably the type that all that 'i miss u' crap makes her puke. Because honestly, if it hasn't been more than a week since you seen her, then you saying you miss her just sounds like a cheap way to get in her pants, and she is probably annoyed by it. Remember that actions speak louder than words. Don't tell her you miss her, and don't tell her you like her. Show her. I'm sure she will "show you" in return.
And that should be all the "giving back" that you need.
2006-09-16 02:50:29 · answer #1 · answered by three6ty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her some time, this is new for her. You guys crossed a major line when turning your friendship into a relationship. She may just be having problems adjusting to the change. My fiance and I had been friends for 6 years before deciding to try the relationship thing. We went through the same thing, but it was him that wouldn't open up. It took some time for him to adjust, but we have now been together for over 1 year and are getting married in November. Just be patient. You have been friends for 3 years and it takes a while to get accustomed to these new feelings for each other. Best wishes!!
2006-09-16 09:52:38 · answer #2 · answered by greenmountains84 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do know that she loves you, then why do you need her verbal reassurance. My wife sounds a lot like your girlfriend and in the start of the marriage, I thought she'd gotten bored of me but I figured that this was the way she was with everyone that she knew...her mother and father included. So I understood her as a whole person. And she shows me that she loves me in a million ways...the way she cooks dinner for me, the way she smiles when she sees me etc. I don't need her verbal reassurance, sure it would be nice but I understand that's just the way things are. And do you really need the verbal props when you have a truly good relationship with your partner. If it still bothers you, then just try to communicate more with her and over a long period of time you will find that she's more open with you, she'll respond to you more and you can always show her by example e.g. get her flowers, cute cards etc. that you can care about her.
2006-09-16 09:49:46 · answer #3 · answered by DrSH 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to ask yourself... If hearing these things would change how she feels about you.. How she treats you... Would it make her love you more... Or are they just words you so long to hear.. Yes we all like to hear our gf/bf says these magical word... Some can never express the feelings as open as others... And if you pressure her enough if will only drive it deepers into her... You may even ruin the relationship... No one likes to feel they have to be made to say things.. You have let her know you want to hear these things... You need them from her... It is really that you are unsure of her feelings ? Step back and look at yourself... Are you pushing for something that is not there.... If you are.. Then you will never hear them... Intead of doing the asking for the hearing of words.... Try saying....... I love the way "we" feel when "we" are together... I love it when "we" look at each other that way... I know "we" have missed each other. when "we" are not togeher.....Plant the "we" words... Not the """I"""" ones.... You are taking her off the defence mode.... It just might move her into seeing that you are thinking as a whole and not as just how you are feeling..... She may surprise you....
2006-09-16 10:03:15 · answer #4 · answered by levita45 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never really met a man who could express his feelings like you do and i thinks its awsome! Anways, I think it's really sad that she can't even tell u she loves u every once in awhile. I mean that is just totally sad. I really hope u guys can work it out b/c i can really tell how much u love this girl. I would tell her how its affecting u in this way b/c if u keep acting like everything is ok between u guys then im sorry to say it wont work out so tell her soon before anything else happens! GOOD LUCK!! I hope it honestly works out!
2006-09-16 10:04:47 · answer #5 · answered by Crystal I 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my friend I can give you first hand experience on this subject.... My lady is the same way she isn't an expressive person verbally but she shows her love with action... Not just meaning sex... She takes my hand constantly. If she walks by she may slide her hand across my shoulder.. She does tell me she loves me frequently.. Well i basically told her the same thing you told your lady... How hard it is and makes you feel like she doesn't care. Her problem dealt more with her past... Never depending on anyone but herself so it was hard for her to put her trust in me that I was sincere in what I was saying.. But like i told her just give me the chance to prove myself to her.. She is getting better its a slow process and it still is hard at times. But I know she loves me and I just keep reminding myself of that. One thing if your really wondering about her love is to look in her eyes there the window to the soul and they can't lie. Well good luck my friend hope this helps in some way.
2006-09-16 10:00:44 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her. give her some time. the change from friendship to a sexual relationship may take some time adjusting to for her. you said you know for sure that she likes you alot so stick with that for now. slow down your pace. don't always tell her you want to see her. the next time you guys talk ask her a ques. like this: so what do you want to do today? if she says she doesn't know then turn the ques. back to you. tell her the same thing. then tell her to think about it and call you when she does. you have to pull her out of her shell. good luck.
2006-09-16 09:56:23 · answer #7 · answered by sexylousleo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are people that aren't very expressive but it doesn't mean that they don't feel anything. What is her family background? Sometimes its got something to do with it. Don't give up and keep doing what is right and she'll realize that sooner or later. I know this because we have a very similar story...and now I am married to her....by the way, she eventually change!
2006-09-16 09:48:48 · answer #8 · answered by alandicho 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually its the other way around. Kudos to a man that likes to talk about feelings!!! As long as you can tell that she loves you. If she doesn't tell you because she is just stringing you along then you need to move on. the longer you stay the more you're gonna hurt. But if you know that she loves you then stay around i think eventually she will tell you,, good luck....
follow your heart
2006-09-16 09:48:19 · answer #9 · answered by Lova L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should print off your question and let her read it. Maybe also tell her if she has a problem expressing herself verbally she could write you a note/letter/e-mail or give you a card. Since you really care about her you are going to have to be patient and hope that she realizes how important this is to you.
2006-09-16 09:48:44 · answer #10 · answered by Nunya 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋