brothers!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

my brother has a child and never see's him, he says he loves him, but still he wont make contact, how can i make him see that he will be the one to suffer when he gets older, i have regular contact with my nephew

Answer 1

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Try this process, where the end will be that the father will WANT to see his son. It may take some planning and a bit of work on your part, but it should work for them.

1. Take photos of the father to the son to view. Tell him that his father does love him, but is very tied up with other things, and will make time for him someday...son...that he should just keep loving him, and be patient. This is truth. The day will come.
YOU can hope to make that day come sooner with the following steps.
2. Take a photo of the son viewing his dad's photo, and show it to the dad, along with other photos. Make sure the son is smiling in the photo viewing his Dads photo. This will have a strong impact on the Dad.
3. Frame a facial photo of the son, and give it to the Dad.
4. Make a wallet size of the son and give it to the Dad to slip into his wallet. Even do it for him, while he watches.
He WILL look at it. Also give the Dad photos of the son doing fun things and laughing.
5. Determine the Dad's shedule, and when the Dad has some completely free time, YOU get the son (your nephew) for a visit and take him to the Park, and tell his Dad that is where you both will be. Do this a number of times, and eventually the Dad will show up to see his son play, maybe at a distance, but you see this will work for the long term to create a desire for a connection.
6. Make sure that YOU bring the son to family gatherings where his Dad will be. DO NOT push them together ever. Let nature do it's own thing.
7. Make sure in you conversation with your brother that you "slip" in "cute" things his son did, sandwiched inbetween other family talk, very subtley.
8. Do not PRESSURE the Dad to see his son.
9. Understand that time will heal the Dad's wounds, and diminish his resolve to not see his son. It may take time, but the "easier" you and other family make it for them to "chance" meet, the bigger or sooner the likely hood that the Dad will become involved voluntarily with his son.
Keep in your heart the knowledge that it is naturaly for the

Dad to want to see his "seed" grow, and he WILL look from time to time.

You can not force him to become invovled. Especially if he is a selfish person with his time and his money.
You didn't say.
So with that possiblity in mind, make the time and money a non issue, with making it convenient and low-to-no cost to see his son.

It never works to "confront" in a delicate situation like this. So be clever, be loving to both, and do not give the son any reason to ever feel that his Dad does not love him or does not want to see him.

Realize that sometimes what YOU say can be more hurtful and scar more than you might realize.
Never be reproachful in your talk, rather be "reassuring". This attitude can affect both of them in positive ways.
Love is the answer to softly bring down this wall. Love works slowly, but it works perfectly. Build the love in their hearts for each other.

stw
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Answer 2

Eventually maybe he will see he is making a mistake by not being in the childs life.Until then all you can do is be there for the little guy.Maybe there are doubts in his mind that the child is really his.Can't say for sure,just giving an opinion.If you ever listen to country music listen to a song by Jimmy Wayne called I Love You This Much.Maybe you could play it for your brother.Hope it all works out

Answer 3

Maintain that contact with your nephew. Some day your brother will realize he's missing one of life's greatest gifts, the love of our children. Good Luck.

Answer 4

(*chuckle*) I have 2, so I understand.

My brother's wife was the one who made sure they had contact with his child from his previous marriage.

When I want my brother to see something, I ask him how it would make him feel. In this case...how would he feel if he was a kid whose father never kept in touch with him?

You can't force him into it. You can offer to be there, and spend time with them while they get comfortable with each other...a trip to the zoo or a park, for example. Or a fishing trip. Depends on the child's age and interests.

Good luck.

Answer 5

You have tried to reason with him and that is all you can do I'm afraid. You can't drag him kicking and screaming to see his own so even that's what I think you would like to do. He is an adult and he has to make his own choices even if they are completely wrong. His son will be the loser in time but if he gets all right love and support he should turn out fine.

Answer 6

Get him to watch a movie about the miserable life of a man who NEVER gets to see his son and died. Maybe that would freak him out and see new light.

Good luck, and i hope his son can understand what his dad is going through.

Answer 7

There must be an underlying reason for this? did you ever ask your brother why he is acting this way?How can he love him, when he never wants to see him? What kind of love is this?
He should look up the defintion of love!

Answer 8

You can't do it. He has his reasons, they may not be what you want to believe but he has to learn by his mistakes. Its better for his son if it is not an issue and he is taught or counselled through his feelings about his father. Time heals all or at least sorts it all out eventually!

Answer 9

Not much you can do. Maybe in time he will realize. You should keep in contact with your nephew.

Answer 10

You can't make someone love their child. Heaven knows, I've tried. If he wanted to see the boy, he'd climb mountains. Like many men, it's all talk.