This is REALLY long, but I would really really, greatly appreciate an honest answer, thanks!?

Question

This girl and me were really close, we would stay up till 12 in the mornin talkin sometime, now that mite not be alot, but it is for her, she is homeschooled, I go to public school. Well I asked her to the movies, and she said Idk maybe , and REALLy backed off, she seemed nervous around me, I thought she just didnt wanna hurt my feelings, but she told her friends, she just wants to see if I can stick with her. Well we got further and further apart, until I couldnt stand it anymore and I emailed her, spilled my guts, and asked her to be brutally honest on how she fealt about me, heres what she said

well first of all, I don't hate you. second, I haven't been avoiding you either becuase its not been just swimming that I've been busy with its been life.I also haven't been beating around the bush because you never asked me if I did or not. But I haven't ever thought of being more than friends with you because we've always been good friends and I think thats how things should stay.I just don't want to ruin a friendship.hope you've had a good day, and i will talk to you later

Now, When I read that two things come to mind. One, that she is just trying to be nice. But on the other hand, she is just scared, because she has never had a bf b4, and weve been friends since age 7.

But now she seems more comfortable around me, like now she talks more, and seems more comfortable, but then she'll seem like she wants me, I can tell by the way she looks, and the way she acts, she just seems really sad, and down,

Oh yeah, and she told her mom , that she is just really really scared, and that she does like me, but she told her friends she just dont want to hurt my feelings, now her and her mom are really close, but so are her and her friends, Do you think she likes me, or is just letting me down easy?

And I am respecting her wishes, I emailed her and told her that I respect her decision, and we havent talked about it since.

But I really really do care for her, I wake up and she's the first thing I think about, I go to sleep and Fall asleep thinking about her. I mean I know I'm only 15, but I really do love her, and would do anything in this world to be with her. I've tried moving on, I've been trying to do that, but I just can't. Even though I am am guy, yes I have cried numerous time for her, and about her. I mean, I'm not ugly, I'm fit, and I'm not a big geek or anything, so what gives? I really do love her, what should I do?

Answer 1

Ask her, "Don't you think it really sucks that both of us really like each other, but we're so afraid of hurting each other that we can't take the next step?"

Most likely, she'll say Yes. If she does, then make a date with her. I would recommend going on a couple dates just as friends, without any caressing or kissing or anything of that sort. Let that stuff come naturally when you're ready for it.

At some point, you can ask her if it would totally freak her out if you gave her a back rub. She'll say that's okay, and then you can both exchange back rubs. That'll get you comfortable with touching each other. Just be careful so you don't push it too fast.

Good luck!

Answer 2

She wants to be your friend.... So start there...My now hubby and i were great friends before we started dating and now we are happily married. Life is what you make out of it. You want her to be your girlfriend...but yet she is scared that if she lets go and loves you in that sense that she will get hurt and then the friendship you two have will also be gone. Just give it sometime and if you two are meant to be together than you being friends first will add that much more love into the relationship because you two will know each other inside and out and there is nothing wrong with it. Hold off on telling her right now as you may scare her off and make her even withdraw from being your friend as well. So let time run it's course and see how she feels in a few more months and if you think she would date you then ask her out if not then just go visit her at her house as a friend with her parents home of course. Play video games, talk , draw, etc... anything that interests the both of you and that too will draw you closer together. You are young and you both have a long life ahead just keep on the right path and you will both find happiness... hopefully within each other. may God bless you both

Answer 3

Stay with her as a friend. She's young and she's being homeschooled, you're probably the only boy in her life and she doesn't want to ruin things by getting in too heavy and then backing out. You're only 15 and you have a long way to go, why not enjoy her company, appreciate that you get to spend time with someone that you love and just be there for her. If she feels strong about you, she'll show it more and more after some time. You can ask her again after a year or so but don't push her away by pressurizing her too much. Come on, you have her attention, you have her company, you have her conversation, you have her interest in you...what more do you want? She's already better with you than any girlfriend could be so be satisfied with what you have because this is probably as good as its going to be for a while. What do you want to do with her? Kiss her and have sex? You're both too young so just focus on spending time with her, going out and having a fun time together. She'll slowly come to realize that she has deeper feelings for you and take the chance if she thinks you're worth it.

Answer 4

First of all, give yourself some time. There are an amazing number of fascinating things to do at 15-years-old. Don't burden yourself with "love issues" right now. Assuming that you face the prospect of living for a long time, begin preparing yourself for life. I suggest the following:
1. Develop a vision for yourself that builds on your talents, interests and abilities and do not include any female in that vision.
2. Begin to develop a life mission statement, one that you will modify and adapt as the years pass. A mission statement will help you achieve and maintain focus in your life. Again, do not hinge that mission on the presence of any female in your life.
3. Develop an initial life philosophy--a "why" statement. A statement that helps you to answer the myriad of "why" issues that challenge you today and beyond. Why, for example, should I select this course in school, rather than that one? Why should I miss this party to study? You know, those questions.
4. Select some short term objectives, based upon your long term vision.
5. Develop several strategies you can use to accomplish each of those objectives
6. Learn to communicate this developing life plan to others, both to solicit members of your development team, and to help others understand why you are the way you are.
7. Design developmental time lines, such as "This year, I will add two more subjects to the list of "A" topics.
This strategy will teach and guide you in how to develop from the dependency of "boyhood" to the independency of "manhood."
After 63 years of living, I have learned that effective interpersonal relationships are interdependent. But only two independent people can decide to become interdependent.
Try this strategy. It's fun! You might like it! And as you become more independent, who knows, she might like you better.
Have a nice day!

Answer 5

First of all... how do you know what she told her mother and friends? You shouldn't be snooping around her business. Second of all, maybe she's not allowed to date or have a boyfriend until she's 16 or older. Lastly, sounds like your email to her was very direct and finger pointing. That's not fair to her.

I totally understand why she would be afraid to jump into a more romantic relationship with you.... you've been friends with her for 8 years! You have a lot to loose if you guys find out that you're not compatible as boyfriend / girlfriend.

Maybe you guys should continue to be friends. Let things happen when they happen. If she truely feels the same way about you as you feel about her.... she'll come around. Just let it happen with out pushing her to do so.

Answer 6

I think she's a bit confused.Maybe she likes u & is even scared.Previously she might hav ignored u out of nervousness,but u've written dat now she likes being around u;maybe she's started gathering the guts to express her feelings 4 u.It's vry difficult 2 guess what's in her mind.Try 2 consult this matter with an elder who's experienced & whom u can trust.Be open 2 him/her.

Answer 7

As she has said, she wants to be friends, is a very wise decision, the both of you are 15, and being friend at this point should be better for the both of you, this will give you time to concentrate on school more. As you said you love her, then keep being her friend, and see where this friendship goes.

Answer 8

it's too long, u must 've been writing from years. tell me how many ?

ok it was too long but i managed to read it all

all u need is sometime and she also need sometime on her own, try to hang out and act normal, try to spent qualitly time with her not juss regular, treat her special everytime and and use the power of being pity (u know the power of being pity:- strongest one) wait untill she realise that u da one for her,

u know what y she's all acting like this cause she's kinda used to u, both u together from 7 years, rite? she's kinda habitual that's it, she need a little change, that's it and u're15, time will give her and u the real feelings that she need in this situation.


and yea also don't get me wrong after reading this (i'm sorry in advance if this hurt u)
see u said u're 15 rite? i'm 20, which means i'm through this situation 5 years back, so what i'm trying to tell u is from my personal experience right?, u juss feeling bout this girl like u can't live without her, u wanna marry her, and make her so happy and always be with her and all, it's alright if u thinkin' like this, cause it's none of ur fault it's ur age. but believe me after two or three year ur body harmones will change and they'll give u this mood swing thing and u gonna be so over her. trust me.

Answer 9

She probably does like you since you told her and sees a a different view of her- but since you said she wants to be friends she's probably confused and is still trying to commit to herself to just be friends. Give her time- I don't want you to give up on her after all that you've been through (in last paragraph).Don't push the question and about the situation on her so much.

Answer 10

Regardless of how YOU feel, you have to respect her statement that she she wants to be no more than friends. If you love her, you will let her go as she requests. Keep the friendship alive if you can; friends are always good to have.

Believe me, you will fall in love with many more girls before you find the one you will want to spend the rest of your life with.