He pee in his pants yesterday in class because he didn't want to ask the teacher if he can go to the bathroom. He is very shy and then on the bus there is another kindergartner that bulley's him. My son is the sweetest person you can every meet. This other kid is tearing his pictures that my son drew and physicaly hurting him. He pulls my sons fingers back and slaps him. My sons mom has already told the bus driver about this and nothing has changed. We cant find out where this kid lives so cant tell the parents what is happening. So what do we do to get this kid to stop picking on him and how to get my kid to speak up when he has to go pee? I feel so bad for him because he just loves everyone.
2006-09-16 00:36:45 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
You need to speak to his teacher, and menion all this to her including the bus. The school has a duty to prevent your child from being bullied, and if this other child on the bus is at the same school, then they can do something about him. I wouldn't try and see this other childs parents yourself as this will only backfire on yourselves. If the teacher doesnt do anything, thenyou need to see the head of the school.
This is damaging your childs welfare and emotional well being, it has to stop.
Personally I wouldn't let him go by bus until the problem has been sorted out.
2006-09-16 00:45:52 · answer #1 · answered by sarkyastic31 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This situation though common is very destressing for parents.
Telling the bully's kids parents is not always the most productive way forward. Parent's have a natural desire to stick up for their kids the same as you for yours. In practice this means that they defend their little angel's (monster's) behaviour and won't challenge it.
I would have a word with the teacher to ask if she has noticed the behaviour - if she has then she can talk to the bully's parents and this may be more effective and less confrontational.
You could encourage your son to sit near the bus driver on the bus to school if it is possible.
Lots of kids when they are young fall out with friends, are horrible or are on the receiving end and then it all blows over in a week.
Obviously your son is being hurt physically which is not acceptable but if he is just being picked on you could encourage him to try and make new friends with other kids.
Lots of kids need a little bit of help to settle in - especially shy ones and hopefully the teacher should have the skills to help him do this. Especially about being too shy to go to the toilet.
If after a few months the situation has not improved at all then maybe you need to go to a new school - maybe a smaller one if that is possible. Little kids are learning social skills and sometimes they are a bit rough and mean but usually they become friends pretty quickly as well. Its not usually quite as malicious as say in high school when he is being punched and kicked.
Keep telling your son how great and fantastic he is. Give him the opportunity to practice talking to new people - even paying for goods when you get on the bus or in the shops - but don't force him to and I am sure he will get more confident and happy soon.
Dont make what happens on the bus into a massive deal for him (even though it may be for you). Make it a small part of his life that has lots of other postiive experiences in it.
Good luck.
2006-09-16 00:46:59 · answer #2 · answered by Bebe 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him know that it's OK to ask to go to the bathroom. Is there a bathroom IN his KG room? A lot of them have one right there in the classroom that they don't even have to ask permission to go use. In my daughter's room they just get up and go since it's in the same room with them. Does the teacher have set potty breaks every day as well? Make sure he at least TRYS to do when she calls a bathroom break for the whole class.
As for the bus, don't they have assigned seats? Our buses have assigned seats for the kids and the youngest kids sit up front near the driver. Talk to the driver about assigned seating and keeping the other kid away from your son. If this doesn't work, then next you call the transportation office and talk to the supervisor or call the school's principal.
2006-09-16 06:04:30 · answer #3 · answered by momma2mingbu 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My second grader was having kinda the same issue. At his school the Assistant Principal is the one over the buses. I would call the school and find out who is over the buses and discuss this issue. They have to do something about it. Violence or bullying shouldnt be allowed when it comes to school.. Now, they may not tell you the boys name, because of the safety issues of a parent getting mad and going over there and doing something stupid... BUT, I think you do have a right to demand a parent conference with the 2 boys, both sets of parents, bus driver, principal, teacher... whole nine yards.
Now concerning the accident in class. I would just talk to the teacher about that and just make sure he has a change of clothes at all times. I have a shy one, and until he feels "safe" he wont ask either..Best of luck to you with all this. School is so hard now adays...
2006-09-16 09:11:51 · answer #4 · answered by kutskova29 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find out if your school has a zero tolerance policy. Under this policy, no child is to be harassed, abused, or bullied. The school is liabel if they have this policy and do nothing to enforce it. Speak to his teacher and find out what the problem is. If your son has any and I mean ANY physical marks from the hand of another child(unless it was accidental, and even then I would question the situation), you go to the police and file an assault claim. Then you go to that school and you demand to talk to the principal and make sure you tell them that this will never happen to your son again, or your next recourse will to be to contact a lawyer for abuse and assault. Make sure you take pictures of any deliberate marks that he got in school and date the picture and keep it on hand and make sure everytime there is some incident at school, you report it and document who you talked to and the date and time you talked to them. This will scare the heck out of them because no school wants a lawsuit. If you get nowhere with anyone, you may want to consider moving out of that school district but I would still lodge a complaint with the Board of Ed. and whomever else you can.
2006-09-16 00:53:25 · answer #5 · answered by hazeleyedbeauty1967 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your boy is a darling, but you need to get him out of there quick! If that were my son, I would report it straight away to the kindergarten! Ask your child which kid it is doing this, go to the teacher and report it. If the teacher does nothing, file a formal complaint. This is unacceptable behaviour. This bully will grow up to be an axe murderer. I despise children that are mean like that. I despise their parents even more.
Tell him that when he needs to go toilet, to put up his hand and ask the teacher because it is not nice to go in your pants. Tell him there is no need to be embarassed about asking, that it is what he should do.
Find out who this bully is please!
Hugs for your boy xxxxx
2006-09-16 00:51:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
get on that bus and speak to the driver face to face. speak at a time the little bully is on the bus and make it very clear to the bus driver and everyone else who is there that any bullying,any child that bullies will be dealt with.go to the school and demand a meeting with the little bullies parents and the principle and the driver and I mean demand it. if none of that works, if the parents seem indifferent, have his butt arrested.I say all these thibgs because I really want to say if his parents won't help you some body's gonna get their as* kicked and that's a fact.
2006-09-16 00:51:34 · answer #7 · answered by punkin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Poor kid. You must tell his teacher,firstly about the bullying, she has to stop it and talk to his parents. Secondly at my son's kinder the teacher sends the kids to the toilet before meal breaks so they can go to the toilet and wash their hands. I believe his teacher has a lot to answer for. She is the carer giver,she has to supervise them and set ground rules for acceptable behaviour. Have a talk to the teacher if things dont change ,report her and get your child into another kinder. You have a sweet sensitive child dont let his first experiences at school be ruined by this. Good luck.
2006-09-16 00:47:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
about the bullying, i had the same problem when mine was in 1st grade, i went to the school and demanded a meeting w/ the counsellor, principal, bus driver and the 2 kids involved. that problem never came up again, he is now in 3rd grade and loves school.
and as far as the potty problems go, we made up a cute signal for my little girl and her teacher to kinow that she had to go to the restroom, she was also too shy to ask to go, but if she had to go, she would hold up her hand in a "I LOVE YOU" sign as high as she could for the teacher to see. then the teacher would let her go, that way she would not have to be embarrased to ask to go, they both knew what it meant.
2006-09-16 04:55:51 · answer #9 · answered by RNbaby 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell the principal of the school also tell the bus driver to watch your child when he is on the bus by allowing him 2 sit up close 2 him while he is being driven 2 school also ask the teacher 2 keep an eye on your child while he is in his or her class if i were u i would go one day myself on the bus and confront that bully child do not let this go on 4 long try as hard as u can 2 stop this abuse as soon as possible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-16 00:46:24 · answer #10 · answered by frank t 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋