Children and cultural etiquette?

Question

Please can I have advise on the following issue: My daughter is 2 and the roblem I have is that she relates TV characters and book characters to real people. This is ok if it is a police man and she calls him PC Plum but the problem I have is that if she sees a black person she calls him spencer or josie jump. This is done as she recognises that they have they same skin colour as a tv character. I am sure that the people she says this to will not mind, however how do I address the issue without making it an issue, i.e. I dont want her to be aware of racisim so I cant say dont call them that (spencer by the way is a character from balamory). I am in no way racist and want my kids to be the same, but saying thats not his/her name will mean more questions, she just see people and relates to what she sees on TV. As she gets older I am sure she will be ok, but how do I deal with it now?

Answer 1

i dont think it should be a problem, be proud that at two years of age she can put things into context. if you dont belive me then just to let you know that i as a black girl have no problem with whats she is doing if she called me josie jump i'd simply brush it off and say 'hello''
Good LUck

Answer 2

I can't see a problem with it, she's only little and I'm guessing that if you live in Scotland, she isn't going to be seeing many other black faces on a regular basis (because, let's face it, Balamory is an unrealistic multicultural oasis, right?) and so it's going to be highly defined. My daughter was brought up with black girls all round her, and I'm sure related Josie Jump with them when she got into Balamory.

I reckon it's a good thing, she's recognising that people have different colour skin and all that, even if her definitions are primitive.

BTW, I'm an Archie - pasty-faced English inventor type. And everyone points and stares at me. I think it's the pink hair. LOL

Answer 3

I wouldn't worry - she's two and already showing an interest in how the outside world relates to her world. Clever girl.

If you feel you need to make comment you could just say something like "That's not Spencer, Spencer has (longer hair or baggier pants or whatever)." - without making any reference to skin tone.

Actually you say that you are in no way racist - and I'm not disputing it - but, if you don't object to her calling policemen by the name of a fictional character, why is it such a big deal when she does the same to black people?

Answer 4

I think this issue can be corrected without resorting to skin color, etc., as long as it is done consistently. Simply tell her that "PC Plum" and "Spencer" and "Josie Jump" are characters on TV, and that each person is an individual and they have their own names.

In instances where your daughter relates a person's name to the uniform, it's a great chance to go one step further. You could tell her, "I don't know his/her name, but let's find out so that we can greet/him or her next time we see them." If a police officer isn't busy, you can tell them how much your daughter enjoys a particular show on TV and explain that she wishes to know his/her name so she can greet him/her next time she sees him/her. In my experience, many police officers or others in service positions would be very flattered and would enjoy this kind of attention and the chance to chat for a moment with a youngster.

Answer 5

I think you'll find you're influencing this response. My niece always pointed to the black child in a Ladybird book and said, 'that's Joe,' ( The child of Afro-American neighbours who were with the USAF in England.) She could not, however say why.
If people bring their children up not to be racist then that's fine, but no one can deny that some people have a different skin colour. That would be just plain stupid.
The best thing to do is to ignore it and to show her, by your attitudes, that people are people no matter what their skin colour.

Answer 6

The more that you talk to the girl...... the more she will understand ! Don't forget,,, that what you have there is an empty slate/ page. If you rely on { Television} to teach that soul, then we have lost the war on racism. If the only lesson she learns is on a "Soap Opera",,, then we have lost a brilliant mind that could have saved the world. My two year old Great Grand-daughter can recite the alphabet, knows the names of close relatives and their phone numbers, is learning Spanish and carries a full conversation in English (with proper diction and logic). Enough said, you need to spend more time with your child!!!

Answer 7

My wife did the same kind of thing, quoting TV characters is fun, we all do it sometimes but not with the level of sophistication of your daughter, be proud and suggest she stands as an MP in a few years time, Witney is a good seat to think about.

Answer 8

If people are offended by a two-year old then I think it's them that has the problem not the parent or the child. Children wlll pick up everything they hear/see and can frerquently embarrass their parents. It's perfectly normal. She's trying to put everybody she meets into context and I can't really see that anybody will take exception to this.

Answer 9

I would ask myself how much TV is my child watching??? Are you reading to her as well? You might try just letting her watch Sesame Street, Backyardigans, Dora the Explorer, Baby einstein, etc. That way she can kind of separate fact from fiction a little easier. Read to her!!!!!

Answer 10

its normal 2 yr old behaviour.
shell grow out of it in maybe 1, 2 or 3 years.
i cant say how 2 stop it now though