My stepson hates me and does anything and everything he can to hurt my feeling and make life unbearable.I have tried everything with this kid and nothing works.It's not that he wants his parents together.He just doesn't want me around.He likes his mom's husband,even calls him dad.He is 11 and has ADHD.Can anyone give me any suggestions?I love him,but I can't take much more of the rude hurtful remarks.His dad has tried talking to him and all is well for a day or so,or until his dad is at work and then its back to the way it was.
2006-09-15 23:01:55 · 8 answers · asked by baby g 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Ok let me add a little more to this,the only reason I added that he has ADHD is bcuz I thought maybe that may have some bearing on the way he acts,Not bcuz I wanted to be-little him.As for giving him attention,He gets all my attention and his dad's as well.And I spend all the time with him I can,I work night shift so I can be here in the mornings and after school.He is on medication for his ADHD.And yes I did have to fight his dad and grandparents to get him on it,they thought it was not necessiary,even though he was in trouble at school for not paying attention or doing his schoolwork,It's pretty much under control now.And he knows he's on it for his own well being.And he will even tell you that,But I don't get any credit from him for being the one that helped with that.It's not credit I want it's his respect.His dad and I have been together 2 and 1/2 years.The way he treats me has only gotten worse,Not any better.I'm not trying to make this all about me,I just don't know what to do
2006-09-16 02:26:45 · update #1
Act like it doesnt get to you that he is being hurtful and continue to be nice to him. Even if it angers you and you feel you want to shout, ignore him. Dont to be too harsh on him. Be compassionate and understanding. Dont try to buy his love as it is earned but that doesnt mean you shouldnt give him anything, just when there is a good reason for it. Try once in a whille to do things with him. Give him space as pushing your love on him will only make him more determined to hate you. Care for him when he is sick, help him with his homework if you see he is finding it difficult but dont push. With time you will win him over. IT WONT HAPPEN JUST LIKE THAT, BE PATIENT.
2006-09-15 23:29:29 · answer #1 · answered by katy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a stepparent is a tough assignment, but you knew that when you signed on. Be consistent, firm but loving. You can't make him happy all of the time. For ADHD, under medication it should even himself out for the day. If there a swings like giving him time release Concerta or Adderrall in the morning and by 3:00 or 4:00 he has lost focus then talk with the Doctor he might give him a boast to get through to the night like Ritalin (5mg). Good Luck
2006-09-16 01:09:19 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think he sees you as evil. Most likely he is jealous of the time you spend with his father. You can try to do things with him. Things that he likes to do if he will give you the chance. Communicate if he will let you just talk things through. If all this fails then the best you might be able to hope for is respect. Respect is the one thing you deserve and should demand. Make it a point that until you have his respect he will have nothing from you. Ive raised two step children to adulthood. They need to know you can make their life quite pleasant or you can be just as uncooperative.
2006-09-15 23:08:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ive had two step parents both ways. Easily put even on the best days its hard to like a step parent. Dont step on his feelings and try not to disagree on the little things. And why mention that he has ADHD, do you somehow believe thats useful information, do you believe that somehow affects your relationship? It sounds like you focus on his negatives, maybe your the one who needs to change their behavior. If he doesnt like you, stay out of his way, maybe he will warm up to you. Just dont push to much or he will cont to back up. Dont try anything, sit back and relax soon he should see your here to stay. Its not easy to change your routine as an adult BUT DO! If he makes life unbearable-bear it for a while.
2006-09-15 23:09:05 · answer #4 · answered by amofber 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be patient. He probably resents you,because of course you are not his real mother. Divorce is hard on kids. Just love him the best that you can. Listen to his concerns. Show him some compassion.
2006-09-15 23:09:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sweety you should dump the man and find someone new! you sound very caring, you seemed like you sacrificed allot, and you can only take so much, why handle all that pain when you can find happiness somewhere else!
2006-09-15 23:05:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
for me i think u can show to him that you are good stepmother by not doing things that may disappoint him
and always be concerned to his health
by that way he will realize that those things that you are doing is for his own good. i8f nothing happens, i think you should have to talk to his father
because if you wont do that, there is a possibility that this naughty kid will continue doing that.
extend your patience.
2006-09-15 23:09:35 · answer #7 · answered by aira_love21@yahoo.com 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try Reasoning with your stepson apparently you must love your husband if your staying with him when his son is giving you hurtful remarks
2006-09-15 23:08:59 · answer #8 · answered by .Samantha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋