i have a friend who is often cynical& look downs on my opions, or thats how it seems (& i don't think i am wrong). If i have an opinion on a topic that is different from hers, she may confront me about it. She gets louder, faster, harsher in the way she speaks "That's so stupid", & it really hurts me cause i have told her before that this bugs me. often these topics are very personal to me, & i don't like how i feel belittled, like my opinion is retarded & not worth listening to. We talk about things like mental illness, depression, self harm, etc & these are often very personal topics for me, & she knows that. Often, i feel like i can't express myself without criticism or her poking holes in my beliefs (happens alot). I come away from the conversation upset & depressed & mad, & especially with a sick feeling in my gut, cause i feel stupid and like she doesnt really care. This can happen in any conversation, but there are certain ones it happens more often with. Feel stuck in this.
2006-09-15 20:28:20 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
talking has never seemed to work, and i am tired of feeling so sick and mad after this, but i want to be able to tell her how i feel, especially since the things she says and thinks really offend me. I just feel barraged. Plz help. thankx
2006-09-15 20:29:18 · update #1
Perhaps its time to find a new friend. A true friend would never ever belittle you, talk down to you or make you feel stupid. I would simply stop talking to her and if she asks why, flat out tell her the truth.
2006-09-15 20:37:42 · answer #1 · answered by Sandi A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you are going through that...you must be kind of soft-spoken or non-confrontational, eh? I'm the opposite, I love to debate and never feel threatened by it...however, I do have friends like you and I alter my discussion patterns to suit them. The fact that she knows certain subjects are personal and still berates you on the subject is wrong and shows that she may be quite ignorant on the subject...so try not to let it bother you, and try to change subjects ASAP. Is she one of those people who thinks mental illness is "fake" and a matter of willpower? Those people drive me crazy...try comparing mental illness to diabetes...same concept, just in a different part of the body (brain rather than pancreas). If you do have a problem with depression, I do encourage you to seek help, despite the stigma attached. Medications can definetly help correct any imbalances that may be present. Take care and I wish you well.
2006-09-16 03:45:10 · answer #2 · answered by ♥austingirl♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her in a very genuine and honest way how she makes you feel when she talks like that to you. If she belittles you when you tell her this she is not a true friend. True friends have a way of making you feel better about yourself not worse. you are a very special person don't let anyone make you believe different.
2006-09-16 03:43:43 · answer #3 · answered by ocanniex 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The real question is why do you feel so insecure in your thoughts and opinions? If you didn't feel so insecure, her overbearing nature wouldn't bother you. Just think, you may be the only friend she has. Then, what is the greater good? For youi to be more like her and force out your thoughts and opinions, or to be a friend and listen while resting secure in yourself?
2006-09-16 03:40:00 · answer #4 · answered by William T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel about this. My daughter does exactly this.
There are a few things you might need to think about.
(1) Not talking with this friend and finding a new friend
(2) Talking with this friend but not about anything deep and meaningful
(3) Talking with this friend about exactly this problem and saying that "Hey - I can't talk to you about my stuff cos you are destructive and critical and what you said really offended me - when you are constructive and helpful I will talk with you about my stuff"
2006-09-16 03:44:37 · answer #5 · answered by Orinoco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a best friend just like that in elementary school, and junior high. I was finally glad she moved in high school. I'm 50 now, and I wish that I had just left her back then and got other friends. I was just scared of not having a friend that I stayed. Believe me, you can and need more friends with positive attitudes. She is negative and misery loves company. Take care, Kitty
2006-09-16 17:51:56 · answer #6 · answered by Kitty L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write her a letter telling her how you feel if you confront her you may not in turn tell her exactly how you have felt. You may just need to part ways with her.You shouldn't let anyone into your life that makes you feel depressed and stupid.
2006-09-16 15:04:48 · answer #7 · answered by coco1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need a brand new friend. She has little respect for other opinions. Hopefully she may learn to acquire this as time goes on.
2006-09-16 03:40:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Replace this so called Friend.Surround your self with peapole that you are happy and comfortable around.God Bless
Me
2006-09-16 03:39:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beat her about the face and head. Altho, if you go on with her like this question, I don't blame her.
2006-09-16 03:48:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋