i was on his computer and i found that hes still posting adds on these personal websights ..like .. hotmatchup, myspace. etc. dont i have a reason to feel sick when i read this stuff. i confront him about it and he gets defensive. tells me im not aloud on his computer anymore.. the computer i gave him. its not like we are just dating either . we have lived together for 3 years now. he makes me feel like im being stupid . and out of line for even saying anything to him about it. am i wrong?
2006-09-15 18:40:28 · 12 answers · asked by subliminal_messenger1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
not at all.
2006-09-15 18:42:05 · answer #1 · answered by sweets 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing that I've learned is that when a man gets overly defensive, he usually has something to hide. What kind of sense does it make for a man in a relationship to have a profile on a site like "hotmatchup.com"? You have every right to want some type of explanation for this! If he's your man, he doesn't need to be doing that and he shouldn't get upset with you for wondering what's up- at least not if he's being straight up with you. The way that he overreacted- telling you not to get back on the computer and all that- kind of shows that he 's trying to hide something. YES..I think that you have every right to ask him what's going on AND to demand to know where the relationship stands.
2006-09-15 18:56:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong for feeling bad about this. I have been through a similar situation myself in the past. And yeah it's just like he's cheating. Girl tell him to get off of those sites and sit beside him while he does it. Tell him if he don't shape up you are gone.
He will keep at it until you lay it down. Girl better let him know you wont take that life is too short. Tell him if that is the way he wants to be then bye you'll find someone else.
2006-09-15 18:46:22 · answer #3 · answered by ~confused~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you aren't wrong and don't let him turn things around and make it like it's your fault for being on the computer. Always trust your instincts! If your in a good relationship then you should be able to talk to him about anything. If he was doing nothing wrong then he wouldn't need to be defensive. Love is about bringing out the best in each other, and making them feel good about themselves, not making them feel stupid. Maybe you need to re-evaluate if he is the one for you.
2006-09-15 18:57:31 · answer #4 · answered by Paula J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple, if you have doubts, most of the time your gut instinct will not steer you wrong. Although if you are snooping, or what not, then you already suspect something. So poop or get off the pot with it. Life is way too short to waste it on someone who is not sincere.
2006-09-15 18:43:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is perfectly normal for you to wonder. Talk to your BF about what you have found. 3 years is a long time to live with someone. It is totally normal to expect some sort of committment
2006-09-15 18:54:11 · answer #6 · answered by JHelper 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you expect him to change into what you want him to be instead of recognizing him for who he is. Hello!! Get a clue. He is not devoted to you and you have expectations of him that he is not going to fulfill. Face it. Quit trying to blame him for being who he is. If you don't like him because you now realize that you had an innacurate image of who he actually is, then get out and find someone more compatable with you. Quit wasting your time on a relationship that isn't going to work. And don't say it would work if he would just change into who you want him to be. I'm sorry, but grow up. You need to start seeing people for who they are and not for who you want them to be. We break our own hearts by not seeing people for who they really are. It's not wrong for you to want to know where your relationship stands, but if you are listening, I just told you.
2006-09-15 18:57:04 · answer #7 · answered by brad 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU NOT WRONG AT ALL. IN FACT HE SHOULD EXPLAIN
WHAT GOING ON AND WHERE WE STAND IN THIS REALTIONSHIP, AND IF HE ON THE WEB SITE. THAT NOT
GOOD AND YOU NEED TO LET HIM KNOW THIS BOTHER
YOU. THIS IS ABOUT RESPECT AND RIGHT NOW HE NOT
SHOWING YOU VERY MUCH.
2006-09-15 18:45:47 · answer #8 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you should dump him - sorry. if he is hiding things from you - what else is he not sharing with you? Leave him and take your computer with you!
2006-09-15 18:52:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anna F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow - that's atrocious! Ditch his ***...and take your comp! Tell him to go stick it if he cannot be satisfied with you. No one deserves that. How unfair! Good luck!!!
2006-09-15 18:49:02 · answer #10 · answered by sugaspice_n_smiles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is totally normal to question where your relationship is going. if he continually ignors your suspicions, he isn't good enough for you. it may be hard to let go, but every girl has to move on.
2006-09-15 18:48:41 · answer #11 · answered by doctor A.N. onymous 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋