Right now I regret going to my family for help for financial reason before my husband left for the navy. Even though I asked my parents to keep my husband's and I personal problems just between them they told practically our whole family. So now I feel like my family either looks down upon us or pities us. Like recently for example it was my father's birthday and I wasn't even asked to make a dessert( I went to school for pastry arts and I always make the dessert). There have also been other ways and family outings that my son and I have been not included. Its getting to the point to where I don't even feel like being around them for the holidays and have been thinking of staying home. Right now I really feel like crap about it, like we are the family f-ups. So anyone else regret asking family for help?
2006-09-15 18:13:06 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I did talk to them and they don't see it as a big deal telling everyone and they deny that my son and I haven't been included in things. Yet they were right across the street from my house and could even pick up the phone or drive across the street.
2006-09-15 18:19:51 · update #1
Yes i do because there this one situation in which i felt that my family is the group of people that will be there for you and help you. But instead i asked them for help and in the end i was the one getting hurt even more then before i asked them for help. I mean there is no reason for you to feel as if you are the family f-ups cause yo uhave a son that loves you a ton and if they don't want to have you there for family functions it is there loss. I mean i am going through the same thing but with my boyfriends parents and believe me i just got home from their family function and it was not easy. Like you feel betrayed because you really care about them but then in the end they do the complete oppisite of what you thought they would do but like i said keep your head high and they will know that they are missing memories from you and you should tell yourself things happen for a reason and you never know you will probably end up alot happier then them.
2006-09-15 18:20:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is a risk asking anyone for help these days and it should not be so. I know this wont be easy for you but ask why they did not ask you to make the dessert at your dads birthday party..maybe it was they were not sure you could afford too make such a gift. I would ask why you were not included in the family outings. I would talk to someone you feel comfortable with, I know right now thats a tough call, but maybe your mom. Then when you have your answers you can go from there.
If they did leave you out and didn't ask you to make desserst because of money problems they think your having and if your not then tell them that. Tell them you appreciate their concern but in the future it would be nice to be asked to allow you to decided it you can affored to do something with them and not just have the assume you can not.
One other thought and its just advice take it or leave it..If you havent done so then start paying back the money you borrowed when your husband went into the navy..this way once its paid off there will no longer be that something hanging over your head, and elimanates it from family memebers with nasty tounges gives them nothing to talk about.
Ive been there done that..and now I dont look back I dont borrow or lend money to anyone..so sad I do outside my family but not in it. I truly hope you will try talking to your mom and see if things can be mended before you lose your holidays..I will think of you Good luck.
2006-09-15 18:50:25 · answer #2 · answered by enoughmichele04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I regret it sometimes. I am a very independent person, so when my spouse and I needed help financially and my in-laws where there for us it was really hard for me to accept the help. I am thankful for it and at the same time resentful. My Mother in law in particular will hold it over our head when they want something from us. It really makes me feel like crap. And just like you, our business has been spread amongst the family. I am so private and my side of the family is so different it has been really hard.
2006-09-15 18:20:06 · answer #3 · answered by Betty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes
2006-09-15 18:14:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! My family always supports me! Why don't you talk to all your family and tell them just how you feel? I mean they are your family and I'm sure they will understand you! Good Luck!
2006-09-15 18:16:22 · answer #5 · answered by xSilverStarx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not, but after there is no other source and unemployment reason I asked my family they gave me 500,000 Rs, about 15,000 pounds to get HSMP visa to UK. Thanks to Queen of England.
2006-09-15 18:17:48 · answer #6 · answered by Devaraj A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
always, because it always seems like there are strings attached, but it's so hard not to ask sometimes!
2006-09-15 18:14:39 · answer #7 · answered by mamabird 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL IN A WAY BUT MY SITUATION ISNT THE SAME
2006-09-15 19:09:34 · answer #8 · answered by <<SEXY MOMMA>> 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋