my girlfriend and i have been dating since we were 16 we are now 23 and living together for many years. our sex life has become almost non-existant. she no longer shows any desire and calls me a pervert when i want any sexual activity. I am just in love with her so much and i do not know what to to do??? i have started to resent her even though i want not to.
2006-09-15 17:40:13 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i know she is not cheating, she is just an extremely non-sexual girl.
2006-09-15 17:45:55 · update #1
fyi i am far from a jealous guy. she is far more posessive than i could even dream of
2006-09-15 17:58:25 · update #2
I'd sit down and talk with her. Don't make it about her...say how her actions make YOU feel such as "It makes me feel unappreciated, unattractive, and unimportant when you act like this. I want to know that you still are attracted to me, still love me, and still want to be with me." See how that gets the conversation started. We females tend to become defensive when you point out flaws (well actually, everyone becomes defensive when being approached with their flaws.). The best way is to point out a certain situation, say how it makes you feel, and see what she says.
As far as the sex life dimishing, there are a ton of things you can do to help that out. You could go to a porn shop and each pick out something that you would like to experiment with. This could range from B.O.B.'s, to acting out a porn, all the way to role playing with costumes and things such as whips. Its all whatever you're both comfortable enough to try. But for the most part, you need to talk about it. If you aren't comfortable enough to go to a porn shop, there are a ton of great websites offering all products imaginable that you can shop at with the added bonus of being in the privacy of your own home.
Good luck!! I hope everything works out well!!
2006-09-15 17:52:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not good--not good at all.
23 and sexless? Wow. What a dreary future you have ahead of you. Maybe she is tired, maybe she has a hormonal imbalance. Sorry to say, but the fire sounds like it has just gone O U T...
Now why she would call you a pervert? That is strange. And you say you are starting to resent her due to this? Lack of closeness in all ways including sexual intimacy will take a toll on any relationship. Maybe you two need to seek some form of counseling.
I would not let this situation continue. Act fast and do something now.
2006-09-15 17:45:14 · answer #2 · answered by love_my_4x4 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is definetly a problem... All I know is try talking to her and tell her how U feel, Maybe try spicing up your sex life candles, massages, buying her flowers just to exspress how U feel. But the sad part is that maybe she feels like she wants to be some where else, that this isnt what she wants out of life, people change and U and her were together at such a young age. Good LUCK
2006-09-15 19:57:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay. Here's the scoop. I married my boyfriend at 18. We had been together since 16. By the time I was 23 he was more like a brother, than anything else, to me. People grow in different directions. 16 is very young and neither of you had matured. Now that you are older, she probably loves you as her friend, but sex just sounds gross, because she thinks of you as a buddy, not a lover. Talk to her, let her express herself without feeling like you're going to judge her, or tell her how she should feel. Ask her point blank if she sees you more like a brother or boyfriend. To salvage your relationship as friends, you may need to let her go...
2006-09-15 17:53:07 · answer #4 · answered by Petey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is your lives like? Are you strictly, like all the time together. Do you have a social life? Like a day with the girls/guys? BUT.... also are you (guy) tooo possessive. Sounds like SHE is smothered, needing space and maybe that's why she's distancing herself. She's needing to see the world out there. Give her some space/time.... maybe she'll come back. And if not. come on, you're 23yrs young. THERE IS LIFE AFTER.... seek it out.
2006-09-15 17:48:49 · answer #5 · answered by Liz R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tough one...well maybe you should go with the old saying...honesty is the best policy? Talk to her and see where it gets you...after all these years it would be sad for you guys to break up over sex....
2006-09-15 17:46:25 · answer #6 · answered by JustMe! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your girlfreind might be in the stage of confusion, some girls, stays loving at first, but as years go by, they want new environment and company, im not saying that, just to discourage you but, maybe she thinks that you only want her because of that "sexual" thing, show her you love her, not by sexual activity but, showing her in actions like, caring and being concerned to her when she is sick and attending her needs when she needs someone to talk to,
you know girls loves someone who is willing to listen to her problems and making her happy, in just simple ways.
2006-09-15 17:49:58 · answer #7 · answered by cheng 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well u might love her but i think yall should take some time apart and she will realize how much she will want u back and everything will be alot better.
2006-09-15 17:43:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like the spark is gone
2006-09-15 17:45:33 · answer #9 · answered by Giggles 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her sex is a part of a relationship and you are young and have needs
2006-09-15 17:43:17 · answer #10 · answered by Me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋