My boyfriend has a drinking problem..,well at least i think he
does. He works all week 15 hour days and on friday through sunday he goes out and comes home completely wasted needless to say i lock him out on nights like that. By the time sunday comes around he says he is sorry and he will never drink again...but then the next friday rolls around he is at it again. I keep threating to leave him if he cant get his act together but part of me also wants him to just stop so when can be together and be happy because besides the beer he is a really good guy. What can i do to get him to stop drinking.
2006-09-15 17:28:47 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you probably can't get him to stop because he has to hit bottom. he hasn't hit bottom yet.
tell his friends if he is wasted they have to take him home with them as you will not be letting him in. if he pounds on the door too much, then try spending the weekend at a friend's house or your parents. then he can pound all he wants, he will still sleep in the street and maybe he will come to his senses.
2006-09-15 17:32:17 · answer #1 · answered by new yorkr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make someone stop drinking. They have to want to stop drinking. But your boyfriend works really long hours and the weekend is all he has to blow of steam from the work week. You may have to make an ultimatum and tell him you will leave him if he doesn't slow his drinking down or stop. Either that or let him do his thing and appreciate that he works his butt off and is a good guy. Lots of guys drink, especially to reduce work related stress. Tell him you want to spend time with him on weekends and plan activities that don't involve getting wasted. See if he will agree to that. Like going to dinner and a movie on Saturday. Or cooking dinner at home and renting a movie. Come up with alternatives to partying and see if he will do it. He may be so used to partying on the weekend he doesn't think to do anything else. If he is an all around good guy and doesn't get abusive and treats you well and respects you, I would give him lots of slack because he works so much. but if he is a total *** and doesn't care what you think you should consider leaving him, because it will only get worse.
2006-09-16 00:34:15 · answer #2 · answered by Trevor B 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
One, he can only make the decision to stop drinking for himself. Two, if you say you are going to end the relationship and don't follow through with it, then he will not believe that you are serious. Are there people who recognize this problem with you? If so, you may need to stage an intervention. Another option may for you to attend local Al-anon meetings, which are designed for the loved ones of alcoholics. They can even help you evaluate your situation more fully and help you through the decision making progress.
The biggest piece of advise that I can give you is for you to actually NOT threaten to leave him to try and manipulate him when you don't plan on following through. You have to decide if you can live with him the way he is if he never makes ANY change and if not, then, as difficult as it will be, you have to find the strength to walk away.
2006-09-16 01:01:19 · answer #3 · answered by purplepinkanddots 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has to be the one to make a decision about his drinking. You threatening to leave him and then backing out of the threat just shows him you don't really care about him stopping his drinking. Stick to you say, if you don't think you could follow up on what you say - don't say it.
All in all - he has to want to do something about his drinking.
2006-09-16 00:38:11 · answer #4 · answered by julie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am an alcoholic, like your boyfriend. Tell him to get his a ss to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). It's free and he'll be surprised how many people have drinking problems just like he does. If you have to, offer to go with him. Sometimes that helps. His drinking is only going to get worse, trust me, (I used to drink every night until I passed out). Obviously his drinking is more important than your threats to leave him. AA saved my a ss. I've been sober 20 years in November and believe me I owe it to Alcoholics Anonymous. Good luck to you!
2006-09-16 00:37:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing. The sad truth to alcoholism is no one can do anything except the person themself. This usually occurs when they are in too much pain not to change. They often relapse.
If you want to put up with it, your choice. If he wants to keep drinking, his choice. I'm sorry.
A professional counselor
2006-09-16 00:33:34 · answer #6 · answered by Joe Cool 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow my ex bf was like that u might have to seriously sit him down and talk to him about it and tell him ur concerns and ask him to seek help if they doesnt work u might have to show him ur serious by leavin him for a little while u have to start takin more action so that he will know that u are serious in gettin him help and stoppin him from drinkin
2006-09-16 00:31:46 · answer #7 · answered by Theresa J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find the problem why he drink There must be an answer for it
2006-09-16 00:32:01 · answer #8 · answered by severler 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if his drinking is destroying the relationship and he knows this then it's over. He needs to get help before he hurts himself physically. Remember he isn't going to change for you - he needs to change for himself.
2006-09-16 00:33:37 · answer #9 · answered by testrun66 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel, i'm in the same sitaution. he does have a problem if he can't control it. there nothing you can really do to make him stop, only you can change, you can't make him change, he has to do it on his own. He gotta think about what he wants
2006-09-16 00:33:04 · answer #10 · answered by Giggles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋