Before I got married I had a child by a person I was dating. I never denied him his right to see her I let him keep her when she was a baby &he would take her out of state to where he lived.He just got married to a woman he was seeing when we were together.(I didnt know&apologized to her)Everything seemed fine until I said I was moving to another state. At the time he had my daughter w/him &I called&requested he bring her home early. I had a job offer to take. I kept trying to reach him& he wouldn't return my calls until the week I was scheduled to leave. He said he's not giving her back to me. I called the police&went to his state to get her.We got to the police station he brought her there after being threatned, his wife was pissed,she said they had court order& we weren't stable&w/no money and many kids, but he didn't say anything& didnt want to give my daughter back saying i wasn't legal guardian. I have her &we moved,he calls threatning court orders. I'm scared to send her again
2006-09-15 17:02:28 · 13 answers · asked by dm 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I would let him keep her every summer and every other holiday. I even let him pay child support without going through the system and we shared her during income tax time. I feel really betrayed. I love my daughter and I would rather keep her from him right now than let this incident happen again. I don't trust him , but I would not mind public opinion in case I am looking at this one-sided.
2006-09-15 17:07:17 · update #1
You need to get a lawyer to draw up custody papers that spell out visiting rights etc... Go to legal aide if you have to. If he had court orders you would have to be served with them before they would be in effect. His current companion should have nothing to do with these issues. She is not a blood relative of the child. Don't send the child to him until you get legal advice. (From a real lawyer) There are laws covering moving a child from one state to another. You want to look into that too. In any case both parents need to be advised as to where the child is at all times.
Make him pay child support through the system and report ANY money he gives you for the child. Not reporting isn't doing either of you or your child any favors!
Yeah - Diane
2006-09-15 17:14:09 · answer #1 · answered by Nora Explora 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most court cases would order not to move out of state in the best intrest of the child, so both parents could have access. The children don't seem to be in danger, although caught in the midst of a parent power struggle. I would now wait until custody order is worked out, and ensure the threat of the father keeping the kids is addresses in court. I am sure the father felt your moving out of state was a barrier to him in having access, where it may not have been before. Sounds Stressful, take care.
2006-09-16 00:20:01 · answer #2 · answered by bluecedar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably do need a lawyer, you also need to try to work out some kind of visitation with her Father and his family. Do you actually oppose her living with her Father? You having visitation? Do you just feel too guilty to say so?
You should think all of this over because it is a terrible thing to take a child from either of it's parents. What does your daughter want?
This is probably one of the thoughest things you will ever have to deal with, but please think long and hard on your answer. You need to do what is best for your child.
My thoughts are with you, I hope your decision is not a hasty one, you sound like you know what your doing, Good Luck doing it.
2006-09-16 00:31:33 · answer #3 · answered by midlifemommy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will be best to keep her with you until you have the formal judgment stating what the visitation is to be. After that, follow the guidelines set down by the judge to the letter. I am not one to generally go with this option as I believe either parent should be free to visit their child anytime they want. But your ex has brought the necessity of dealing with this situation legally onto himself. In order to insure there are no more attempts to keep her, it would probably be wiser to wait until the judgment and then adhere to it.
2006-09-16 00:15:14 · answer #4 · answered by Slimsmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the father of the child is entitled to spend time with his daughter, you should not in any way hinder him from doing so.
You made it difficult for him to see his daughter, by taking her to another State.
I don’t know what the legalities were there… whether he would have been within his legal rights to stop you from taking his daughter to another State.
I’m assuming you didn’t bother to ask him if he would mind you making it harder for him to see his daughter !!!
Look, basically what it comes down to, is doing what is best for the daughter.
If he is a good father, and his daughter loves to spend time with him, then you should not interfere with them spending time together.
I have no doubt that you love the daughter, so it is best that you do not do anything to risk losing your legal entitlements to have her living with you.
Allow the father to spend time with his daughter.
If he fails to return her when he is supposed to… ask the police to intervene.
You will then have additional grounds to prevent him from taking the daughter out of the State in which she now lives.
2006-09-16 00:06:51 · answer #5 · answered by I_C_Y_U_R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Immediately talk to an attorney explain the situation to him and he can give you rock solid information on what you legal options are... As the attorney if it is legal in your area to record all telephone calls from him... and how you would go about doing it...
Have you attorney file visitation/ child support/ custody paperwork immediately... Follow you attorneys advise to the letter...
2006-09-16 00:16:40 · answer #6 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant really keep her from him. But I would make him sign a paper stating he will bring her back. At least until you went to court.
2006-09-16 01:09:24 · answer #7 · answered by my_hart2hart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldnt send her, he has already shown that he cant be trusted and when it goes to court the courts might not even let him take her. If it goes to court request that he have supervised visitation in your town until he can prove that he is trustworthy
2006-09-16 00:27:37 · answer #8 · answered by teneesha2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know the law but I would be afraid of sending her. Seek a lawyers advice before you do anything.
2006-09-16 00:10:02 · answer #9 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't send her to be with him till papers are drawn up. Who knows what will be next? Kidnapping?
2006-09-16 01:36:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋