They live in another country and this will be their first visit to the good ol USA. Her dad, brother, and sister. We live in a one bedroom apartment. They want to stay for 3 MONTHS with us. We will need to pay for everything and keep them entertained. I have no problem with them but this will stretch our budget not to mention my nerves. I've mentioned this to my wife and she'll have none of it! We're newlyweds and I'm desperately trying to avoid WW3 right out of the gates. They haven't seen each other in 6 years and they're coming whether I like it or not. WHAT DO I DO?
2006-09-15 16:10:30 · 15 answers · asked by redrum5785 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Oh, and I do not speak ONE WORD of their language (my wife is bilingual, however), and Her dad owns some kind of a snack shop so he and his kids are free to leave whenever they want. Keep em coming!!!!
2006-09-15 16:48:38 · update #1
Run Away! Make sure you get yourself a hobby that will get you out of the house like boyscouts or model train building or a book club, maybe take a night class. whatever you do- limit your exposure in a way that is 'unavoidable' like a commitment to a club. call up the tourism bureau for your area and get a listing of all the free things you can do and schedule up a storm. make them go outdoors alot so they don't stink up the place and wear them out so they go to bed early. maybe get a new dog to distract them. Get a membership to 'sam's club' so you can buy all the food you need in bulk so they don't eat you out of house and home. Maybe start a website that chronicles your struggle and sell advertizing so you can at least profit from the experience. and last but not least, pick up smoking cigars. This is Key. Maybe Cigars and fine Scotch. You'll need it. Good luck.
2006-09-15 16:23:36 · answer #1 · answered by moquin747 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say what country they are coming from. In their culture they may not see any problem with the arrangements. Also what part of the country are you living in? And what time of year are they coming? If you are near a national park suggest a camping trip. If you have to work, and I expect you do, your wife can be the guide for maybe a week. That way they can bond and talk about old times while seeing some of the country they came to see. Look at some of the cheep travel web sites and see if you can book them into a motel or on some tour. And, ask maybe they can pay some or all of the expense. As long as they are coming all the way to see the USA get them out to see it. Visit the local tour board and send them brochures before they come. Get them excited about seeing something besides your apartment.
2006-09-15 23:55:00 · answer #2 · answered by Nora Explora 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that sounds like a huge imposition. Five people in a one-bedroom apartment is too many for even one night, if you ask me. I think it should also be the guests' responsibillity to pay for themselves over the course of a visit that long. If it were only a week, then yes, it would be courteous to pay for your guests, but three months isn't a visit. That's moving in and living with you with free room and board. I would really question if they have jobs to go back to, because I highly doubt any workplace allows three full months of vacation in any country.
I think you should really look into the cost of some inexpensive hotels in your area and try suggesting that you could pay a percentage of the family's visit, but that you can't afford to pay for all of it. And also, have a thorough look over your lease, because apartments generally have guidelines on how many residents you can have in the unit. If it gets really out of hand, you can bring the landlord into the discussion.
2006-09-15 23:28:59 · answer #3 · answered by Kelly W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is an old saying, "Fish and guests stink after three days."
I understand your wife wants to see her family, but there are limits to anyone's generosity. If you were in a better situation to handle the visit, it would be different. Tell her you can maybe handle it for a month, and I think that is stretching it to the limit. After that they will either have to go home or find other places to stay for the remainder of the visit.
You are just going to have to set a boundary and stick to it.
Good luck, you're gonna need it.
2006-09-16 00:07:48 · answer #4 · answered by Slimsmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, I don't know how long you've been married, but it's past time for you and your wife to discuss boundaries. It's understandable that she misses her family and needs to see them, but three months of supporting her whole freaking family in a one bedroom apartment is sheer madness. You should agree to no more than one month as hosts, and then they will need to find other arrangements for the rest of their stay. As newlyweds, your marriage will definitely be stretched past the breaking point by this visit, and I truly hope your relationship can survive it.
2006-09-15 23:30:45 · answer #5 · answered by Barbara G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should really try to explain things to your wife. You may need mental help before they leave. Even if this was your best friend you would be drove nuts having another person in your home and no privacy. Maybe you could rent them a place close by and have them eat dinner and entertain with them but still have your alone time.
2006-09-15 23:46:12 · answer #6 · answered by angie1977c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem I've been married for 26 years and I've had he's family over for that amount of time and more and I've always been a good host. we have a hard time when they are over. anyway to make a long story short I've reached a solution for myself I told him if/when he's family is over they are he's responsibility... so far so good he thinks about it to ask/have them over.
Let your wife know they are her family her responsiblity, and when they are over don't go out of your way for them thye'll get realy comfortable and want to come back... to all this don't make it abvious keep it on the down load she'll think about having them over for so long... I don't get it don't people understand when they are in the way and what ever happen to staying in a hotel?
2006-09-15 23:46:53 · answer #7 · answered by Nena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Live with it 3 months is just a short stay to suffer..
I live with mine for several years and at the end I was still the one to be blame... OMG,,, what a hell
Thre (3) months is heaven...
I know how you feel
I feel that for several years..(LOL) GOOD LUCK..
You need it...But be patient.. It will do no you good if you get mad.. you will only be at the loosing end.
GOD BLESS.
2006-09-15 23:22:17 · answer #8 · answered by yulnores 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is there any chance that your wife just used you to get her green card?
a woman that respects and loves her husband would not bring her family over to stay with them for 3 months.
that's unreasonable.
i think you got played dude.
2006-09-16 02:30:58 · answer #9 · answered by bonicua 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that they help pay for some food and rent or just one or the other.or maybe you can suggest that they get a camp trailor and park it out front.Good luck.
2006-09-15 23:17:22 · answer #10 · answered by oceanwvs2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋