Feelings - Is honesty always the best policy?

Question

I've been with my girlfriend for 7 months a few weeks ago she found out that i'd held something back from her during that time, it was pretty big but we got through it all she asked was that i'm totally honest with her in future. Fair enough, the last few weeks whenever she's asked how i'm feeeling i've told her, if things were bothering me about myself, her, work, friends, anything really i've just told her. I don't think there's been a weekend yet where haven't ended up not speaking to one another!
We work together, she got some good news at work yesterday i'm happy for her but it brought me down in respect of how I feel about my job. I told her this she's thinks i'm bringing her down. I was just being honest. Is it worth it?

Answer 1

Whenever you decide if honesty is the best policy, you have to consider what it is you are being honest about, and "who" you are being honest with. Some people say they want honesty, but can't handle the truth.

Answer 2

Honesty is the best policy - WHEN YOU HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING. That does NOT mean you are required to say everything you feel. If something is important and is going to be an issue between you then yes, you should probably get your feelings out in the open so everyone knows where everyone stands. If feelings get hurt, well, they were going to get hurt when the issue came up anyways, so there's no reason not to get it over with now so you can discuss things and resolve them ASAP. On the other hand, there may well be times when something is bothering you but saying something about it might cause some bad feelings and the subject may never come up again. In these cases, you might be better off saying nothing (as long as you aren't bottling up too much inside). There is no magic way to always figure out which situation is which; you just have to use your judgment.
One additional note; sometimes timing is everything - for example, ask yourself if maybe you might want to wait a day or so before you tell her how her good news made you depressed about your job. After a day or so, you shouldn't be accused of being a buzz kill, and hopefully one day of holding in how you feel doesn't hurt you.

Answer 3

I always say honesty is the best policy, but in some circumstances its really not. Do you really have to be honest about something that really isnt that important and upset her or you and your whole weekend. When we say be honest...we're not talking about if you hated the steak she cooked but told her it was yummy to your tummy baby. OH paleeezzzzz. The big issues, for example, your phone rings, you walk out of the room and its your ex girlfriend, you walk back into the room and your current lady looks at you and asks " who was that on the phone, honey?" and you tell her it was Steve from work. Now thats a problem if your not honest w/that one. Sometimes its better to candy coat your honesty as well. For example, she asks you if you like her new dress but you think it makes her look fluffy, just tell her that the dress is nice but there are others that look so much better on her. Are you getting the picture alittle clearer now.

Answer 4

Yes honesty is the best policy. BUT you have to be tactful in the way you say things, you can't just say a one liner and think thats it, I've told you and thats the end of the matter because I am being honest. You have to talk about the situation. It is always best to be honest about things at the time, because it is easier to get through it at the time, rather than waiting weeks then either you tell her or she finds it out from someone else. Be honest, but talk about it.

Answer 5

I believe that the basis of a good and strong relationship is trust and respect. And trust is gained by openness in communication. Both parties must be sensitive to the needs and feelings of the other. While honesty is always commendable, at times we might need to use a little discretion on how and when we communicate things.

Answer 6

U think u are being honest, but in reality you are not... there's one person you are leaving out of this whole honesty thing... YOU! If you are in a real relationship, and your significant other brings home good news... u are suppose to be happy for her... that moment in time was not about you... it was about her. You have nothing to do with her good news. Sounds to me like you aren't really happy with yourself, and instead of owning that, you are trying to convince youself and your girlfriend that it's her fault you aren't happy. This problem is not your girl friends... it's yours... u are the problem.

Answer 7

soemtimes honesty did not bering good ending, what if a hot gal you know way back from high school met you while you andf you gf window shopping at a mail and say hi to you then when your gf ask you who is she, you just tell the the truth but somewhere some how she felt jelous and this you cannot do anything about it. no one can promise she also hide something from you too, you better becareful. every man has it s dark secret. keep it for yourself, treat it as your own privacy.

Answer 8

Honesty is always the best policy, just not always the smartest. You will only lie if you want to manipulate someone. Be honest with yourself when you lie to a person. Admit you are doing it to manipulate that person.

Sometimes it is better to manipulate a persons feelings in order to keep them happy, than to make yourself happy at their expense.

Answer 9

I think that a relationship needs honesty to grow. I don't think that honesty is the problem here. If you are working together and spending a lot of time together, you both need some space.

Answer 10

WELL, IT JUST SEEMS AS THOUGH THE CHIC'S NEVER SATISFIED. I MEAN YOU TELL HER WHAT'S GOING ON AND SHE GETS PISSED, AND THEN WHEN YOU DON'T TELL HER, SHE GETS PISSED. YOU CAN'T WIN FOR LOSIN!

HOWEVER, I DO THINK THAT IT WAS WRONG FOR YOU TO WITHHOLD INFORMATION THAT WAS OF IMPORTANCE FROM HER FOR 7 MONTHS INTO THE RELATIONSHIP...BUT YOU TOLD HER AND I GUESS IT STILL DIDN'T DO ANY GOOD. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU.

RE THINK SOME THINGS AND DECIDE IF SHE'S REALLY WORTH ALL OF THE ARGUING AND DRAMA BECAUSE IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE A VERY HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP IF YOU'RE ARGUING ALL OF THE TIME.