Are you ready for a Quickie? I've posted these before but they are so good I need to share them again.?

Question

Hope you enjoy, Let me know!

> Quickie #1
> One day, Jay Dini came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a
>very sexy nightie.
> "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
> So he tied her up and went fishing.

> Quickie #2
>
> A woman came home, screeching! her car into the driveway, and ran
>into the house.
> She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey,
>pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!"
> The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or
>mountain stuff?"
> "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out."
>
> Quickie #3
>
> Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and
>the other is a husband.
>
> Quickie #4
>
> A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.
> First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.
> The optician showed him a card with the letters:
> 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
> "Can you read this?" the optician asked.
> "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
>
> Quickie #5
>
> Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I
>must tell you all
> something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."
> "Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of
>chardonnay."
>
> Quickie #6
>
> A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
>Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
> "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!
>You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We
>need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're
>going to STICK!
> Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when
>you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST
>your mind?
> Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them.
>Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!"
> The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You
>think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
> The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like
>when I'm driving."
>
> Quickie #7
>
> Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North
> Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army.
> On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb.
> That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
> On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush.
> That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
> On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap.
> The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years

Answer 1

good, good, good, still laughing. Oh God, I hope I rememebr them all.

Answer 2

very properly, i will positioned my 2 cents in. 'how many all human beings is attentive to how Hadiths are categorised as Sahih (actual/sound) or Da'eef (vulnerable)? how many human beings right here have actual examine during the entire books of Bukhari, Muslim, and the likes? and that i mean each and each Hadith and has appeared at them interior context? And back to make sparkling, how many have examine each and each Hadith, positioned each and all of the appropriate ones mutually, and appeared at them interior context?' i be attentive to with reference to the Ahadeeth being Sahih or Da'eef. i've got no longer examine during the enitre books of Bukhari, Muslim or something like it. i do no longer settle for each and all of the Ahadeeth i glance at. For now i'm concentrated on different issues. i be attentive to this would in all probability bring about yet another reported question. there is merely too a lot lack of understanding right here. i won't have the ability to for the existence of me understand why all human beings is obdurate and could shop on with their perspectives, even whilst they are fake. How can they assume the worldwide to love Islam and pass away the way of their parents whilst they might't do it themselves? i think of it relatively is the place vanity steps in. all human beings is too conceited and don't choose to pass away the techniques of their parents, or the techniques they have chosen by using fact they at the instant are not open to to any extent further recommendations. you are trying actual stressful, Rumaithaa, actual stressful =)

Answer 3

The difference between light and hard? I can sleep with a light on. The difference between dark and hard? It's dark all night.

Answer 4

Funny as Hell!

Answer 5

My favorite was the one about the lottery! ha ha ha ha

Answer 6

I don't understand the last one.

Answer 7

hahahahahahahahahahahaha those are sooooooooooooo funny!

Answer 8

those are great !!! keep them coming

Answer 9

LOL. LOL. Good ones! LOL.

Answer 10

funny.....got anymore?