i was adopted?

Question

i when was adopted as a baby by my birth mothers cousins.
my real dad died before i was born,and my real mom was only 18.
nobody says anything to me but i think when i was born i was "just an expirement". i mean when young people have a baby at that age usually it means "you were their accident" right? well im 13 almost 14 and i kinda feel like a oopsie for them. i mean im trying to become alot more closer to my real mom and all but she lives 2 hours away from where i live and got married last year.if she down the road has another child won't she love he/she more than me b/c she's finally ready to start a happy family? help!! :(

Answer 1

Most children are not planned. However, you have to remember that everyone on this earth serves a purpose. My husband is adopted, and unlike you, he has never had the opportunity to meet either of his biological parents. His biological mother kept her first child, but gave him up. NOW, this sounds sad, but he has been able to forgive and forget. Sometimes God puts us through things because he knows that you can handle it. You never know, you're story may help someone later in life. You seem like a very bright young lady, don't let this get you down. You should talk to your biological mother and tell her how you feel. You never know the whole truth until both sides have a chance to tell their story. She probably regrets it, and believe me, she thinks about you, because no woman gives birth (or even aborts for that matter) and forgets or stops thinking about that child.

Good luck in your future endeavors...

Answer 2

I'm adopted too. My mom was a drug addict. She gave up three children, me being the oldest, all of us a year apart.

So yes, you were an accident. And she did what she thought was best for you. It's much better than being raised in a home where you are abused and unwanted.

But that doesn't mean that people don't change. Today my biological mother and I have a great relationship. I'm 22, and she just gave birth to baby #6 with her husband she married back in 1998. I forgave her. And she's changed. She's a drug counselor now, and I couldn't imagine my life without her. Wait until you're 18 and you have a bit more perspective, and talk to her. Ask her why. That's what I did.

If you get angry or depressed, it's just going to f*ck your life up. I promise you, because i've tried it. Forgive her. You'll feel better. Best of luck to you.

Answer 3

Oh, Sweety, I know this seems like the end of the world right now...but what you have to realize is that the people who adopted you and have cared for you for the last 13 years did so because they love you. You have no control over your past or how you go here. Don't let it ruin your future. Just be happy about where you are, be thankful for your adoptive parents and plan a future for yourself that is reflective of the wonderful and cherished person that you are. When you are 18, this might all make more sense and maybe you will have a better understanding of what your birth Mothe went through. Best of luck to you and please don't ever feel bad---you really are one of the lucky ones!

Answer 4

I am so incredibly sorry sweetie. If you are here, then it is for a reason. You are going to do something incredible one day. The accident was getting pregnant so young, but you are not the accident. Do you get it? The accident was the process not the product(you are the product). And you are a gift from God. Can you talk to your adopted mom? Maybe she can help you. Try telling your real mom how you feel, but don't ever feel that you are a mistake.

Answer 5

Many of us on this planet are "oopsies". So what? Did the people who adopted you do a good job raising you? If they did, then consider yourself lucky. I do understand your need to find out "who you are", so to speak. Your mother should sit down with you and explain all you want to know. I'm 50 years old, and I've never seen my birth father. My step-dad did a good job raising me, but I still have the need to know about my paternity. I can't get my mother to tell me a damn thing. Whatever the big secret is, I may never know.

Answer 6

Write letters to your birth mother-- or e-mail her if she has an e-mail account.If she doesn't show any effort in trying to bond with you.......remember this---- your adoptive parents CHOSE you.They knew exactly what their baby girl looked like and everything.....they chose you as their own anyway. You are not their "oopsie". An "oopsie" is an accident and they didn't accidentally adopt you.
You are wanted, needed, and loved by your adoptive parents and if your birth mother doesn't want in on that relationship with you then her loss.

Answer 7

many of us have unplanned pregnancys, it takes a real mother to hand over a child to be raised by someone who can give that child a good start and go in life. Its normal to be confused to see her move on and make a new attempt, tell you mom how you feel and see if she can help you with ur feelings

Answer 8

your writing confuses me but youre young so I wont grade ya! Did she say she didnt love you? I think she does love you , could you imagine giving away your baby cause you know you cant take care of it, BUT now shes older and wiser and knows she can handle a baby.

Im sure she had her reason and it was hard. Tell her you want to have a heart to heart with her and ask her the questions you want to ask

Answer 9

I'm sure you've heard the phrase, "one person's trash is another person's treasure"? Not calling you trash but I'm saying, maybe God knew that your parent's weren't ready so he sent your mother's cousins. You had a great childhood so far, right? And it might not be that she won't love you as much as if she has another child, but she didn't have the oppurtunity to watch you grow up. So it'll take her some time to get use to it.

Answer 10

your birth mother made a choice to put you up for adoption, so that you could have things that she couldn't give you.......wanting you to have a good life. Just go one day at a time and life each day to the fullest.........everything comes together in time