A question for fellow Buddhists, how should I respond when insulted?

Question

When someone is angry or mean towards me, what is the right way to respond? My first reaction is to get angry and hate back, but I know this is wrong. Could you please tell me how to deal with this? If anyboby is about to insult my belief system, please do not. What will it accomplish? Thanks!

I cannot pick between Mirage's and Sista!'s Answers so i'm puttin it to vote.

Answer 1

I am wiccan and I know who it is just remember they dont understand and just walk away
I f it a friend explai what Buddhists is and if a true friend than they will understand. I have found people are scared of things they dont understand or different from themself.
just be above that and dont give in to there comments

Answer 2

I'm atheist, so I'll start out by saying that. When you, Buddhism, or both are insulted, generally, I'd say don't respond. Don't give your insultors anything to work with. The minute you contradict yourself, stumble with your own words, they'll eat that up and use it against you. If they have a misconception about Buddhism, clarify their misconception to help foster a better understanding of Buddhism. Yes, I believe it would be wrong to get angry and hate back. But that doesn't prevent you from correcting other people when they're wrong, if you do it with sincerity. I don't generally insult people's belief systems. As an atheist, Buddhism makes the most logical sense to me: do as much concious good, and as least concious evil as possible. All other religions are based on archaic laws and rules (sorry if you follow Abrahamic religions, everybody) that were written by tribesman who didn't know any better (again, I'm truly sorry if you disagree with me, but I'm stating my beliefs). Buddhism and atheism share some things in common: no real belief in a creator god, belief that we should be rewarded on a basis of good living, rather than faith, et cetera. In conclusion, just ignore them. They'll usually stop insulting you and/or Buddhism if you refuse them the time of day to insult you and/or your faith.

Answer 3

A Buddha cannot be insulted. But it takes a long time to
reach that point in this world.
Yes, our first reaction is anger, because we are hurt. Not just
emotionally, but people send negative energy at us when they
do these things, and we naturally try to protect ourselves.
Buddhist teachings say to let that negative energy flow
right through you like water.
Anger can also be controlled by deep breathing. Many people hold the breath in and get angrier, because it gives them more energy. Breathe in, and BLOW IT OUT!
To get rid of negative thinking. Just don't finish a negative
thought. Cut it off in the middle. The same is true of negative
behavour. If we catch our selves acting negatively toward
someone, just stop doing it.
It will get easier with time. And you will find the loving
buddha/god/spirit, that is in you.

Answer 4

Use the opposite emotion when faced with a negative one. Anger:Serenity
Hate:Love
Ignorance:Knowledge

"Do not speak harshly to any one; those who are spoken to will answer thee in the same way. Angry speech is painful: blows for blows will touch thee"

"Like a solid rock is not shaken by the wind, so the wise are not moved by praise or blame"

"Dispassion is the best of mental states. . . . "

"In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves"

"Overcome the angry by non-anger; overcome the wicked by goodness; overcome the miser by generosity; overcome the liar by truth"

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned"

"Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love, this is the eternal rule"

- Buddha -

Answer 5

Although I like the four noble truths, I don't consider myself officially a Buddhist. But I will answer the question anyway. Take the attack for what it is: bait. It's there to provoke a desired response from you, and the best way to deal with it is not to give the other person what they want.

Answer 6

For the answer to this question, I look to the wisdom of The Dude (in the Big Leibowski).
When faced with a volley of insults, he simple responds;
"Well, like, that's just your opinion man."
Wiser words have never been spoken.

Answer 7

From a Buddhist perspective -- you are to grow to the place where you are not affected by either insults or praise...

From a Christian Perspective -- we follow the teachings of Jesus Christ -- when he was insulted (when he was on the cross for instance), he was silent. And he told us to love those who insult us (and treat them kindly). Of course, this is easier said than done.

Please see http://godsci.org/gs/sect/relig/buddhism.html for an discussion of Buddhism and Christianity.

Cordially,
John

Answer 8

The journey of awakening happens just at the place where we can't get comfortable. Opening to discomfort is the basis of transmuting our so-called "negative" feelings. We somehow want to get rid of our uncomfortable feelings either by justifying them or by squelching them, but it turns out that this is like throwing the baby out with the bath water. According to the teachings of vajrayana, or tantric, Buddhism, our wisdom and our confusion are so interwoven that it doesn't work to just throw things out.

By trying to get rid of "negativity," by trying to eradicate it, by putting it into a column labelled "bad," we are throwing away our wisdom as well, because everything in us is creative energy-particularly our strong emotions. They are filled with life-force.

There is nothing wrong with negativity per se; the problem is that we never see it, we never honor it, we never look into its heart. We don't taste our negativity, smell it, get to know it. Instead, we are always trying to get rid of it by punching someone in the face, by slandering someone, by punishing ourselves, or by repressing our feelings. In between repression and acting out, however, there is something wise and profound and timeless.

If we just try to get rid of negative feelings, we don't realize that those feelings are our wisdom. The transmutation comes from the willingness to hold our seat with the feeling, to let the words go, to let the justification go. We don't have to have resolution. We can live with a dissonant note; we don't have to play the next key to end the tune.
*************
"Once upon a time there was a holy man who encountered a big snake while he was walking through the forest. The holy man immediately recognized the snake as the reincarnation of a man who, in his previous life, had been very angry with many people. Oh, he caused his mother and his family and his friends so much trouble because of his anger and his meanness. That's why he was reborn as a snake . When the snake saw that the holy man recognized this, he spoke to him. 'I'm so miserable as a snake,' he said. 'I have no friends, and all the people who come here hate me. They say nasty things to me and want to hurt me. But I don't let them. If they come near me I bite them. Tell me, how can I escape from this predicament?'

"The holy man said, 'Why that's simple! Stop biting people and eventually you will be liberated and can become a human being again!'

"So, in his desperation, the snake stopped biting people when they came into the forest to collect berries and fruit and firewood. But soon, the people realized that the snake did not react to their presence and so they started throwing stones at him. The poor snake wanted desperately to become a human being again so he did nothing at all; and, in time, he grew weak from the all the injuries he received.

"Many months later the holy man returned and saw the terrible condition of the snake. He asked him what was wrong and the snake explained what had happened. "The holy man saw the problem and the solution. He said to the snake: 'You were forbidden to bite. You were not forbidden to hiss! So hiss! But then, mind you, hiss only when they throw stones.'

"The snake understood, and from that time on when people came near, if they were pleasant, the snake did nothing; but if they started to throw stones at him, he hissed. Oh, did he hiss! And so the people learned that if they respected the snake, he would respect them. They learned that even a patient snake can remind them that he is not exactly powerless against them.

Answer 9

Insults should behave like water on a duck's back, just let them fall to the side and leave them there.

Answer 10

Sticks and stones?