Please be careful. This person has found her way into my house and could also go to yours.
A very weird thing has happened. A strange old lady has moved into my house. I have no idea who she is, where she came from, or how she got in. I certainly did not invite her. All I know is that one day she wasn't there, and the next day she was!
She is a clever old lady and manages to keep out of sight for the most part, but whenever I pass a mirror, I catch a glimpse of her. And, whenever I look in the mirror to check my appearance, there she is hogging the whole thing, completely obliterating my gorgeous face and body. This is very rude! I have tried screaming at her, but she just screams back.
The least she could do is offer to pay part of the rent, but no. Every once in a while, I find a dollar bill stuck in a coat pocket, or some loose change under a sofa cushion, but it is not nearly enough. I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I think she is stealing money from me. I go to the ATM and withdraw $100, and a few days later, it's all gone!
I certainly don't spend money THAT fast, so I can only conclude the old lady is pilfering from me. You'd think she would spend some of that money to buy wrinkle cream. And money isn't the only thing I think she is stealing.
Food seems to disappear at an alarming rate-especially the good stuff like ice cream, cookies, and candy. She must have a real sweet tooth, but she'd better watch it, because she is really packing on the pounds. I suspect she realizes this, and to make herself feel better, she is tampering with my scale to make me think I am putting on weight, too.
For an old lady, she is quite childish. She likes to play nasty games, like going into my closets when I'm not home and altering my clothes so they don't fit. And she messes with my files and papers so I can't find anything. This is particularly annoying since I am extremely neat and organized.
She has found other imaginative ways to annoy me. She gets into my mail, newspapers, and magazines before I do and blurs the print so I can't read it. And she has done something really sinister to the volume controls on my TV, radio, and telephone. Now, all I hear are mumbles and whispers. She has done other things-like make my stairs steeper, my vacuum heavier and all the knob and faucets harder to turn. She even made my bed higher so that getting into and out of it is a real challenge.
Lately, she has been fooling with my groceries before I put them away, applying glue to the lids, making it almost impossible for me to open the jars. She has taken the fun out of shopping for clothes. When I try something on, she stands in front of the dressing room mirror and monopolizes it. She looks totally ridiculous in some of those outfits, plus, she keeps me from seeing how great they look on me.
Just when I thought she couldn't get any meaner, she proved me wrong. She came along when I went to get my picture taken for my driver's license, and just as the camera shutter clicked, she jumped in front of me!
I hope she never finds out where YOU live
She got in my house, make sure you lock the doors.
2006-09-15 15:13:46 · 17 answers · asked by Sangy . 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I wonder if there is a whole race of'em. I have one also. She keeps hiding my things, and hogging the chocolate!
LOL. LOL.
2006-09-16 09:23:35 · answer #1 · answered by jfmm 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think I would prefer to have the old lady move in than the alternatives....goodness knows who else might move in.
I look forward to her coming...well kinda
2006-09-15 15:34:01 · answer #2 · answered by debbie l 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should have warned me sooner she is already here. Or maybe just maybe she has a few sisters and one of them slipped in while I was gone. You're right she could be more helpful.
2006-09-15 15:24:35 · answer #3 · answered by CuervoBMed 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really do not fear that.. IF she comes, I will make her sign a rental agreement and she must pay her share of everything.. that would be fair
2006-09-15 15:16:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl--she slipped in just as I was locking the door. Damn.
2006-09-15 15:26:37 · answer #5 · answered by Phoenix Rising 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think i saw her type a question on yahoo answers, too.
2006-09-15 15:18:01 · answer #6 · answered by a_blue_grey_mist 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
oh no no no bad bad bad i'm going into hiding, I'm coming to your house ♥
2006-09-17 16:18:08 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately...she has already been to my house too! LOL!
2006-09-15 15:19:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you are the old lady.
2006-09-15 15:18:31 · answer #9 · answered by Sean P 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it happens to the best of us,and the answer is yourself
2006-09-15 15:32:22 · answer #10 · answered by krusty_blue_spaz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋