She is turning 4 years old, and in a pre-school daycare class. She has about 6 friends, half of which are in her class, and half of which are in other classes at her daycare. Her total class size is about 20 kids.
For proper etiquette, do we need to invite her entire class to her birthday party, or should we invite just the 6 girls she plays with?
2006-09-15 14:33:56 · 34 answers · asked by tim w 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Thank you for all the responses. There has been so much useful information and context, that I will let voting pick the "best answer". I ended up inviting just her friends, which grew to 8 girls at school, and trying to focus it on her day rather than ours. Also, I couldn't mail the invites, since I don't know the other girls address. However, the teachers at her school were very helpful (like telling me which girl she plays with when two had the same name), and offered to put the invites in their folders (along with their normal "projects" that go home), so that will be easy.
Thank you again to everyone who answered.
2006-09-18 07:45:03 · update #1
Actually, it is suggested that you invite only 4 friends to her party, because that is her age and that is about all the friends she could handle at her party. (We had 6 at my daughter's 4 year party and her sister's 3 year party combined and that was too much for them). She may not be able to socialize with them all at one time and feel stressed by having too many at her party. Send the invitations to the home of the child, rather than to school for distribution - then you should invite all. But you only want a few children at the party rather than too many.
2006-09-15 14:46:32 · answer #1 · answered by mom of girls 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The best thing to do is just invite the six girls...but if there is like, let's say, 8 girls in the class, then you should probably invite all the girls.
Most parents (I hear) either invite the whole class, just the girls or just the boys, but no more than half the class. If you invite more than half the class you should probably invite all the kids so that none feel left out.
If you follow simple rules like this, it's easier to explain to your own child if the situation arises in the future that she wasn't invited to a school-mate's function. Like you can say 'just the boys were invited' or just a few close friends were invited. There is nothing harsher for a small child than being in a class of 20 and inviting like 16 kids and they are one of the four!!
But with 6, I think you're okay.
But don't send invitations to the school. They should be sent through the mail, personally to the home of the child or by phone. Unless, of course, the whole class is invited.
2006-09-15 14:43:35 · answer #2 · answered by monkiegirl37 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would just invite the children she plays with. I don't see a problem with the teacher putting invites in the folders for the kids to take home. I did that with my daughter when she was in daycare, since none of the other children saw the invitations there were no hard feelings after wards. I might still send some treats to the class to let them wish her a happy birthday if she is in class on her birthday; as long as it is okay with the teacher.
2006-09-19 05:56:20 · answer #3 · answered by Diana H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say go for it!!! Invite them all!!! Maybe by the end of the party she'll come out with new friends!!!! Another thing you could do if you dont feel comfortable inviting all 20 have the 6 over for a sleep over... I know there just 4 but it might be fun!!!
2006-09-19 13:20:57 · answer #4 · answered by TiNg-TiNg 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask the teacher the rules. Some classes require that if you do it during class, everyone should be invited. But you can also have them distributed secretly to each parent as they arrive. I'd just stick with the 6. A party that large may be overwhelming for a 4 year old.
2006-09-15 14:37:03 · answer #5 · answered by mama 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow...I don't think you need to invite the whole class. Ask her if she'd like someone else to be invited, other than her 6 friends and call them or talk to their parents, not infront of the other children. Plus, 20 4 year olds would make a huge mess and loads of noise. 6 would be easier to cope with and your little daughter will be with the people she most enjoys.
2006-09-15 14:40:50 · answer #6 · answered by hermanita 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you invite 20 preschoolers to your daughter's party, you'll have to deal with 20 preschoolers. Unless you are a preschool teacher, you won't want to do this! : ) Just invite the children she plays with the most often... don't make a big thing of it... just stick the invites in the children's cubbies. At this age, the kids really won't feel like they are being "excluded"... it's not a clique age yet- but still tell your daughter that it is tactful to not taunt others who are not invited. You can also mail the invites so that there is no one offended at all by not getting a note in their cubby.
2006-09-16 13:41:14 · answer #7 · answered by dolphin mama 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should only invite the girls she plays with. The daycare might not think it's too cool, but it wouldn't be right for your daughter to have to spend her birthday with kids she doesn't really know. Catch the parents of those girls who your daughter wants to invite when you're picking her up from daycare, that way you won't have your daughter passing out invitations in front of the kids that aren't invited.
2006-09-15 17:15:26 · answer #8 · answered by sexythickchick614 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
For proper sanity, you need only invite her closest friends. Ideally the number should be about equal to her age. You said she has 6 close friends, that's a nice party for a 4 year old. If you are worried about hurting class feelings, send a class treat to the teacher, but the more extravagant you get at this young age ... uh, do you really want to set a standard for the future that requires you to entertain 20,30,40 kids?
2006-09-15 14:46:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is fine to invite the 6 children that your daughter plays with out of the whole class.
Are you sending invitations with her to school ? Thats a no-no ! That would cause other children to feel left out right in their little faces.
So if your sending them via mail then your good to go.
Thats proper!
2006-09-15 17:37:36 · answer #10 · answered by ~♥ L ♥~ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋