What happened to a couple getting married if the woman got pregnant?

Question

I guess I grew up in a back hills country hick town, but when an unmarried girl got pregnant, the guy married her. PERIOD! Not getting married just didn't happen. Now, I will say that alot of those ended up eventually getting divorced, though some are still together, but at least the baby wasn't labled a bastard, which is a horrible name. And if they were married, then the father (at least the ones I knew) contributed to the raising and financial support and the mothers didn't have to go on welfare. There was none of the talk about abortions at all. Most of the people in the town where I grew up, were God fearing Christians, and believed that a baby was a baby from conception and that abortion was horrible. I happen to agree, but I know there are those who don't, so to each his own. But why does this countries morals seem to get worse everyday? More unmarried teen pregnancies, more fathers who don't have anything to do with the kids, more STD's, and more unmarried parents.

The couples always got married, cause it was the Christian thing to do. They usually had parents who were embarrased that their daughter got pregnant when she wasn't married and this was done to "save face" so to say in some cases. My brother got his girlfriend in highschool pregnant, and my dad told them either they got married and he would let them both live with us and help them financially, or my brother was on his own. He did that so that my niece would have all the things that she needed and so that she would not be labled a bastard. My brother married my nieces mom for that reason.

I think everyone having sex, knows that no matter what type of birth control they use, they can produce a baby. If they are not prepared to deal with that, they need to not have premarital sex. Sex has become too casual and is thought to have no concequences.

Answer 1

I agree. I was raised to not have premarital sex. Sex was intended for married couples, mainly for procreation. Having sex can result in a child, hence the reason for it being intended for married couples.

Abortion is a topic that has really gotten out of hand. Abortion is the killing of an innocent human being, one that had no say in its destination, but some women kill them anyway. I honestly believe that those people who choose to have sex should also be the ones who take care of the child it produces. Teenagers do not have the emotional capability to take care of a baby, someone who has many many more needs than that of its parents. The teenagers I know are self-absorbed, too busy to truly care about someone else other than themselves. I know there are some out there that aren't, but for the most part they are more concerned about what goes on in their lives, not anyone else's. I used to be a teenager, I am not speaking out of ignorance, I'm speaking out of experience.

The subject on marriage after a girl/woman finds out she is pregnant wasn't really discussed, because as stated earlier, marriage already occurred before the pregnancy. But for those who weren't pregnant, marriage did happen, without question. Yes, some couples didn't last, but they did what they had to do for the best interest of the child at the time.

So in short, I am pro-life. Abortion is murder, and those that partake in it are murderers. The blessing of a child is from God, something that some couples try for months or even years without success, while others have frequent pregnancies and in turn have frequent abortions. One shouldn't put the cart before the horse:marriage comes first.

Answer 2

Because people first of all are all losing the moral values and second of all people also realize that this is not a good reason to marry and the children are better off with their parents seperated. Now just so everyone doesn't think my first sentence is an insult to anyone I have five children my first child was while I was a teenager no I did not marry his father, My next 3 I was married after 8 years got divorced my ex-husband never sees or calls his kids or pay for them, and my fifth child is with a man that has been raising my children since my fourth child was a year old and no we are not married. Morally I think we should be married but after my first marriage I couldn't go through that again and we are both very happy being together and taking care of our children together. Oh he also has a child from a previous relationship also out of wed lock but he sees his daughter very often and pays support. If she wants to come over whether he is home or not she knows she is welcome and she comes over. We are happy and we take care of our children together so to me this is all that matters even though I know it is morally wrong.

Answer 3

I don't think you're asking a question. I think you are using this forum as your soapbox . . . and I mean no disrespect because I can appreciate your passion. Whether a person be Christian or a worshipper of space aliens - accepting responsibility for a child is a universal obligation. We live in a country that treads the thin line between church and state. We don't admit that our legal system resides in that gray area (and there is one, disguised as a big pink elephant in every welfare office). I won't go into a rant about religion and such but I will say that virtue and morals should be taught at home. Unfortunately, our generation is part of a systematic destruction of intrinsic moral responsibility; and home life is suffering. We are too wrapped up in the slack morals of the likes of Paris Hilton and keeping up with proverbial Jonses. Young men don't marry the mothers of their seed because our legal system affords them a choice. Whoever thought that one day we would live in a country - where you have a CHOICE of taking care of something you helped to create through the fruit of your loins? I admit I would much rather live in this country than most but I am not blind to our virtuous plight. So, to answer your question: The couple getting married when a child is conceived died out with political and social progress . . . and the result . . . moral ambiguity and virtue by default.

Answer 4

I think that the parents should get married. It's even less probable that two unmarried people will stay together; even with the high divorce rate, 50% is better than 75-80%. Whose to say that unmarried parents won't hate each other and fight? The child will still have stress and, in addition, will get cheated by only seeing one or both of the parents part time. They will miss so much emotional connection. Having said that, either of those two scenarios is better than aborting the child. A child that was allowed to be born has a chance to make a better life for herself when she is an adult. An aborted child has no chance at all.

Answer 5

Personally I think it should still stand! yes this is bold, But society has taught a newer generation that its ok not to get married and have babies! First of all if you are having sex with someone you should be using protection, if you don't love them you should abstain, yesw I know everone is having sex, But should it be that way? If you are in a relationship and choose to have sex you should also choose to be resposible for your childs feelings and life! People are so selfish these days after you become a father or a mother you are responsible for another life, not a dog, a rabbit, a cat! a Human life , get your shtuff together BEFORE you get pregnant and make choices that are going to promote good values, Just because everyone else is doing something it doesn't make it right! My first husband and I chose to marry, then get pregnant, and then later we divorced, but, there is still an order of things, and putting your child first should be the main concern, I am not saying that if your unmarried your wrong but just start thinking ahead a little, your baby deserves at least that!

Answer 6

Why does this concern you? I'll answer from what I experienced; my mother and father got married right after my mom found otu she was pregnant. They got divorced after being married for 16 years. My aunt and uncle on my dad's side didn't get married until their daughter was 18. She's 24 now; that means they've been together for nearly 30 years, and happily I must add. An aunt on my mom's side didn't marry her daughter's father until their daughter was 21. They are very happy and have always been. So, tell me again how it is so bad for people not to get married when they have a child or are expecting a child.

Answer 7

Everyone doesn't have the same values; also, it would not be a good idea to marry just because of pregnancy. This would only add another mistake to the one that has already been made. Marriage takes maturity, responsibility and committment. Too often we see children raising children because they were ruled by their hormones instead of their intellect. People need to wait until they are emotionally ready for parenthood, not just physically eager for sex.

Answer 8

First of all if they were God fearing Christians they would not be having sex out of wedlock. Second of all, people should not get married just because there is a baby involved. The only true reason for marriage is true love, the same values, morales, and goals in life.
Like you said, most of these people ended up getting divorced. I think it is better for the baby to start their lives with 2 parents in different houses, rather than have the parents get divorced when the child is 3 years old. It is too stressful for kids to go through a divorce. So if they grow up knowing they have one or two parents who love them but dont live in the same house, it is easier than the whole divorce thing.
As far as the teen pregancies.... I dont think teen pregancy has gotten any worst than it was back in the day. I just don't think they are getting as many abortions. They understand that they have a lot more choices theses days. I have to say that I am thankful for one teen pregnancy. My sons birthmother was only 15 when she got pregnant. I know have a beautiful son that i would not have had if it wasn't for a teen pregnancy.

Answer 9

I became pregnant at the tender age of 17. My father basically said that I need to marry him and not expect to come back home. The man I married was soon discovered to be a very abusive man. I wish I would have waited.

Answer 10

I don't know. Ask yourself. I live in Australia which is a relatively peaceful, prosperous country so I consider myself very lucky.

You and your partner are both divorcees with children, aren't you?
You have a son who does not see his natural father often, and you have at least one stepchild who is a handful to say the least.

Is it better to be labelled a bastard and grow up in a fairly peaceful household, or to be legitimate and grow up watching men and women interact largely through hostility and abuse?

Personally I think a happy, well-adjusted bastard is going to be a lot better off than a legitimate child who sees his parents fighting every day.

If you are asking why your country's morals seem to get worse every day, start with yourself. Perhaps you made some ill-informed choices that have resulted in situations you hadn't planned to be in. It is not particularly your fault, and you seem to consider yourself a moral person. Maybe others have erred as you have, despite being 'moral'.

We are all only human, after all. Let's just try to be supportive of each other and considerate of each other's failings. We all have them, after all.

Good luck.