He was and still is the love of my life, i have been married and divorced 2xs before, my choice. But this man(a once boyfriend) I truely love and dont wanna let go, its killing me mentally, any advice? im not a kid, im 40 and just feel like my world has ended, yes im in counseling,,,but it dont help,,,its just so hard.
2006-09-15 14:26:36 · 10 answers · asked by kimmie_o2004 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There is no easy, one answer for your problem. The fact is that you fell in love with a man, had what you thought was a perfect relationship, but then he ended it. The reason you can't let this one go is that until now, you don't feel like you connected as well to any previous man and loved this guy more then your ex-husbands put together.
If you have been apart less than a couple of months, then give him a little time, but let him know you are there for him if he wants to talk. If it has been more then a couple of months, give him one last call. Tell him how you feel and ask he if would like to meet with you to talk about what happened and see if you can get back together.
If he doesn't want to even talk, the you need to accept the hard fact that he has moved on or just just doesn't want you. For whatever reason, he has decided that you are not the ONE for him. It is hard, I know, but you must let him go. You can't make someone love you if they don't.
In order to move on, you need to stop contacting him. You need to stop looking at your pictures. You need to stop listening to love songs. You need to put him out of your mind as much as possible and fill your mind with successful things for yourself. Do some extra work at your job, volunteer at a school to help young kids learn to read or do math, clean your house, do some yard work, or anything else to keep you busy.
It won't be easy, but over time the strong feelings that you have for him will fade. If you really love him, I don't think you will ever really be OVER him 100%, but enough for you to move on with your life and maybe find someone new although I know that is far from your mind at this moment.
Whatever you do, just know that you have people who care about you and your friends are there if you need to chat.
2006-09-15 16:41:03 · answer #1 · answered by Roger S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What your going thru probably has less to do with the guy and more to do with you being 40 and the fact that you've been divorced twice.
-You've been married twice, do you have any kids? If so you need to focus on them now and not be selfish.
-If you have no kids go hang out with your girlfriends but don't beat with them down with "i miss him" stories. Just focus on nothing but having a great time. Take a singles cruise with a girlfriend and live life. When you least expect you will find love again.
2006-09-15 21:40:06 · answer #2 · answered by elong 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how you feel, but you have to move on with your life. You have to face reality in life that some things happend. Everything happens for a reason and you have just to move on with your life. Try really hard to keep yourself busy. Try going to the gym to improve yourself and your mind too. It will relieve your stress and build your confidence if you look good to everyone. You have to take care of yourself cause nobody will do it for you. You have the choice in life, don't mess up yourself cause of just one man! I know it's hard but you can do it. That man is laughing at you right now, show to him that you can live by yourself and you don't need him. It's not the end of the world, it's the beggining of a better life for you. Look good mentally and physically, it's your life. Let me know if I can help you?
2006-09-15 21:39:33 · answer #3 · answered by SNOWMAN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey I know how you feel, stay busy, get yourself involve in a single and divorce group at your local church. You are going to make so many good friends. Stay positive about your life, concentrate on you and get really involve on someone that can probably need your help. Best of Luck!
2006-09-15 21:34:54 · answer #4 · answered by maury3222 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe there is a way that you could talk to him and see what happened and see if there is a way for the two of you to get back together because you obviously still have strong feelings for him and see what he thinks about it.
2006-09-15 21:32:28 · answer #5 · answered by Parks 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant get over him because YOU WONT let yourself get over him. you CANT make someone love you if they dont, we all know its hard BUT you HAVE to find interest in other things & keep busy untill you are able to deal with it. good luck.
2006-09-15 21:35:02 · answer #6 · answered by KATIEKAT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay busy on the internet, then let us know how that works out for you...
2006-09-15 21:30:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
involve yourself in something that you've never done before, and it will maintain your mind occupied.
2006-09-15 21:30:58 · answer #8 · answered by Eryc 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sleep with his best friend.
2006-09-15 21:30:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need to occupy ur time
2006-09-15 21:27:38 · answer #10 · answered by omarionsgirl1983 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋