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When my mom and i are seen together in public, i feel self-concious and very embarrased. I am not a mean person! i just have some...psycological controlling to figure out.

for example, she picked me up at school today (i'm a freshman in high school) and looked very...dorky in a bright neon green coat. I unconciously cringed. she also speaks very loudly and is quite overweight.

i know it's bad to be ashamed of a parent, but i can't help it! is there anything i can do to stop being so ashamed of her?

2006-09-15 14:18:45 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Family

45 answers

You are just going to have to accept her. She probably gave up a lot of things when you were born and let herself go. Give her a break, she brought you in this world you should be happy and respectful. Who cares if she dressed that way or acts like that, she's your mom and I bet she would never even consider judging you about your personality and qualities. She takes you as you are. Remember that the next time you feel ashamed.

2006-09-15 14:21:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6 1

I was there also when I was your age. At the time I just wanted to be cool and have no ties to older people, a type of rebel. But when I got older, I was so thankful that I had parents that were interested enough in me to be involved in my teen years. There are a lot of parents today that are so wrapped up in their personal lives that their children are at the bottom of their interest list. Work is more important, making money so that they can keep their status...So, be a strong individual, love your parents, don't be ashamed of her or them, after all, the coolest kid in the school might have beautiful parent that are slim and wear top of the line clothes, but they don't give a darn about their kids activities or happiness.

2006-09-15 14:35:37 · answer #2 · answered by Joel H 4 · 2 1

Probably not much you can do at the moment to stop being ashamed of her. It's part of the process of separating that kids go through. But one of these days, God willing and the creeks don't rise, you will separate yourself in your mind from you mom and realize that people judge you for who you are, not what your mother is or isn't.

2006-09-15 14:50:50 · answer #3 · answered by DelK 7 · 1 0

It's normal for teens to feel embarassed by their parents; some teens don't like it when their parents "act cool" or "dress cool." What you don't realize is that all the other teens are thinking about their own insecurities and would do the same with their parents.

If she's a good mom, just think of her as that. You could gently try to steer her towards better fashion, but it may not make matters better.

2006-09-15 14:23:13 · answer #4 · answered by Draga M. 3 · 3 1

!You should always be proud of your mom. Think of all the things she has done for you. Maybe the green dorky coat is all she can afford because she has spent her money so you can look nice. As for her weight, you should be worried because of health issues, not because it may make you look bad. Speaking loudly, lots of people speak loudly. Maybe your mother doesn't like to repeat herself. Rethink what you would like to change about your mother but for the right reasons. Then see if there is anyway you can help her make these changes. You know be supportive!

2006-09-15 14:30:15 · answer #5 · answered by noname 5 · 2 2

Oh I know how it feels to be ashamed of your Mom. When I was in grade school and my Mom had to come to school and pick me up all the kids would laugh and scream and say "Look at the witch!!". She had black frizzy hair that was never combed and she never took care of herself. I found out when I got out of highscool that we were never as poor as she let on. Today she is a millionaire and lives in a nursing home with Altzheimers really bad. She had all kinds of problems when I was growing up. She was the neighborhood bag lady for many years. How do you not be ashamed of her? You try to find out why---what makes her the way she is. Her weight may be because she turns the hostility she holds towards others on to herself. She may overeat because she is always hungry but, just doesn't know it's not for food but for attention. Does she get much attention at home? That could be why she wears the bright green clothes too. It may also be that her weight is making it hard to find attractive clothes in her size. Offer to go online for her and look up clothing sites such as Lane Bryant or one like that where she can find attractive clothes in her size. Try not to hurt her feelings by saying she should do this or she should do that but, use a third person approach such as "so and so's Mom couldn't find what she was looking for in the stores around here so she went online and she really found a cute outfit. I guess that's what alot of women do these days I would be wiilling to do that for you if you wanted me to." She may not take you up on it at first but, just gently keep trying. Be sure to compliment her too. That could be the hardest thing too when it's her looks that embarrass you. There is something that must be good about her. Really CARE about her and she'll start coming around.

2006-09-15 14:36:09 · answer #6 · answered by Midge 7 · 0 3

Sweetie, I had the same problem my freshman year of high school. you are not the only one ashamed of your mother coming up to your school a lot of people are. Why? because they feel like they are to old for their parents to come up to the school, or they are doing bad things and dont want their parents to find out. also it could be they act bad if front of their friends but when their mom or father comes up they have to behave. When I was in high school I didnt want my mom to come up because she was short and she looked liked a sister. Now I relized that your not going to see those people for the rest of your life. Who cares what they think they dont clothe you feed you or provide you with the things that you need. Girl dont worry if people have a problem with your mom then they have one with you. If they can talk about her or if they cant accept her for you then they aint your freind. If it comes down to it just keep to yourself because high school is not forever its just for a lil while. remember they talked about Jesus Christ and they downed him and he didnt care what people think so you cant care what they think either.

2006-09-15 14:25:20 · answer #7 · answered by Leosr1 2 · 2 1

Hun, Your Mom is your mom no matter what. One day she will pass on and you won't have her anymore. Think about all of the wonderful things that she does for you and not about how many things about her aren't perfect. Hold her close in your heart and don't worry if others look at her crooked. Nobody is perfect. Remind yourself daily how lucky you are to have a mother that cares deeply for you. God Bless.

2006-09-15 14:23:43 · answer #8 · answered by Amy A 3 · 4 1

Its normal to ashamed of your mother at your age.
remember half your brains come from your dear old mum so dont be too cruel.
we are all created from our mother they have given us the biggest gift of all life.
without our mothers we would not be.
our parents teach us.
you may not see but if you mum did not have her problems you might not be able to overcome the same things as time goes by.
One day you will thank your mother.
Remember also that you are lucky,Why because you have a mother that is still there for you.
Look within an you will see something much greater.

2006-09-15 14:30:30 · answer #9 · answered by GOOCH 4 · 1 2

what would be your example of a cool parent .Some young girls your age don't even have a mother.You should talk to her go shopping help her pick out some new things.Your mother being over weight should not be a issue full figured women can be quite sexy too.Please don't feel ashamed she is your mom.

2006-09-15 14:25:06 · answer #10 · answered by Jho 2 · 4 1

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