Discipline?

Question

I have a very big and strong seven month old son. He grabs for everything, pulls on everything, bites and hits (I don't think he knows exactly what he is doing--or doing it intentionally) out of excitement. I don't know if at such a young age I should be telling him "no" when he does these things--out in public. It seems like every time I tell him no and put his hand back in the cart for grabbing something or doing something that I find unacceptable in a store I get mean looks. I don't understand this--I'm trying to enforce authority. I'm trying to let him know that what he's doing isn't okay. I don't understand the mean looks? Am I doing something wrong? I'm trying to correct his behavior, what is wrong with that? What kind of discipline is appropriate at this age? I'm not spanking--just saying no (not in a cutesy no-no voice--but in a firm voice--letting him know I mean business) and stopping him from what he is doing. What am I doing wrong? Thank you for your reply!

Just so you know "notty chair" is spelled "naughty chair."

Answer 1

If he is 7 months old - he is not expected to act polite in public. Just relax and don't worry. He is not playing mind games with you - he is just a little kid and has no idea how anything works yet.

Answer 2

Nothing at all. Let them stare.

I am continually amazed by people in this regard. Everyone complains about kids acting up in public. But if a parent makes even a mild effort to stop it--the staring and grimaces start--and that is at best--at worst they become officious intermeddlers.

For the life of me--I can not see how anyone could see anything wrong in what you are doing. You are doing everything right!!!! In fact it would only be in cases where I either saw a mother striking a 7 month old child or not doing anything at all that I would be concerned.

But times have changed--and in this case you can just ignore them--you are clearly not doing anything that could get you in trouble.

When I was a toddler/young child (and this is not ancient history) there were three or four times my Mom took me into the ladies room and gave me a spanking on my bare fanny. I am sure she would probably be arrested for doing something like that now. But I remember well that even the slightest suggestion that it might be necessary to go with her to the rest room stuck with me for many years--and kept me from being the disruptive little hellion in public places that we all know so well.

Answer 3

Sounds like you are doing just fine. At 7 months old, they don't understand the concept of hurting someone, so don't punish for what seems like hitting. Actually he is probably just trying to touch or grab because he is a normal curious baby. My youngest is 9 months old, and I do tell him 'no', but he doesn't even understand what that means. So I say no, and pick him up and move him to another spot with another distraction, like a different toy or something. Don't worry about what other people are looking at you like, they don't know what's going on.
A 7 month old is definately too young to spank, because they don't do anything out of turn on purpose. Just be patient, and puyt the boy in the cart and don't let the cart get too close to the items on the shelf.

Answer 4

It is perfectly find to say "no" to your seven month old - however, you have to make sure your tone is appropriate. You don't want to sound cutesy, of course, because then he will think you aren't serious. You want to sound serious and firm, but never harsh. You should not try to put a mean look on your face or anything like that because he doesn't understand what he is doing and he wont understand you being harsh or looking fierce. If you are not being harsh, then you are doing nothing wrong. It is your job as a mother to socialize your child - and that involves teaching him what is appropriate and what is not. It is never too young to teach this. Good luck!

Answer 5

You are doing nothing wrong. But I may suggest few. Encourage when he behaves right. keep on appreciating good things. Disregard the unacceptable to a level you can bear. You spank the child will be challenged do it only. Public will be laughing only when a child does some grabbing or pulling, don't worry. Our level of manners are not a concern for a 8 month old. you engage him with more and more activities feeding his his thinking.

Don't worry you will get it over in time.

Answer 6

This is a great one! My own grandmother used to tell me not to do this exact thing she said he doesn't know any better, But that is exactly the point I am teaching him better!
I never babyproofed my home exept for medicine, and chemicals, and dangerous things, All my nick knacks, and decor stayed down, I did this to teach my children that some things will always be there that cannot be touched. I used to take their little hand and say NO, when they touched things, I would repeat it many many times, and say NO!, My granda did not approve!
I went to her house for the first time with my daughter 2 1/2 and son 11 months for a family get together. My grandma had tons of beautiful antuiqes sitting around, and very expensive rare knick knacks, most moms would be terrified! I simply told them both those are no no s, and left them to play in the living room with their toys, My grandma went on and on about how well behaved they were never touching one thing in the house that was breakable or glass, I told her I taught them not to. She never believed that something so simple could make the kids behave so well! it really works!
Also don't ever frett over looks at a store, You have to raise your children to behave! I asked one woman if she would like to come home with me and teach them for me! if not could she please keep her dirty looks and comments to herself! that shut her up real fast. And besides those same people will praise you later when your childen behave in public or at their homes for a tupperware party right? Good luck!

Answer 7

i don't think there is anything inappropriate about what you are doing. saying no and redirecting him seems like an okay thing to do. i don't beleive in spanking or any harsh discipline at this age, but what you are doing doesn't seem like it would do any harm, even if it didn't work. and i think we underestimate babies. i have a four week old kitten right now. he has learned what the litter box is, and just learned not to bite from me saying no and putting him down. and his brain is a lot smaller and less sophisticated than your baby's.

on a further note. don't worry too much about what other people at the store think. they don't know you or your son. check in with friends or relatives who have had children. but solicit more than one opinion, that way you can get an idea of what is "normal". good luck.

Answer 8

You are doing what every mother should do, but you live in a society that doesn't understand this. You'll know when your son understands, "No." I knew my first did at age 6 months when I said, "No," to touching an electric outlet. I moved him away. He crawled back... slowly... looking at me after each step and then put his hand out towards the outlet, looked at me, got closer, looked at me, and that's when I knew. Our second son is 12 months and we've not yet had a moment like that, but I'm sure it's not too far in coming. Too many people in society think "No" is a bad word, but as all service men and women know, boundaries are part of what defines us as a society. Keep up the good work.

Answer 9

I think that all you are doing wrong is caring about what others think. Anyone that doesn't allow these people to get on with their shopping in complete silence is automatically going to get some nasty looks. Some people won't know they're doing it, some will stare out of curiosity, but then there's the mean few who stare because they are nasty and want to make others feel bad.
Stop looking around you and letting others get to you like this.
From the sounds of your other questions, you are a very sensible woman, who obviously has a great deal of love for her son, and your answers show that you are perceptive and smart...so use these skills to filter out the nasty stares from those who don't understand what is going on.
I wish you all the best for the future!

Answer 10

I think you are doing it right. You may think about saying, "don't touch, or be careful" because I think parents use the "no" word way too much. I also explain why I am saying don't touch.
eg. Don't touch. The can could drop on our toes. Be careful not to pull the table cloth. Look the things on the table will get pulled off.
I know he's a little young, but in the next few months you will be amazed at how much he really understands. good luck

Answer 11

You are doing nothing wrong. There is nothing wrong with disciplining your child even at seven months as long as you keep doing it in a kind and gentle manner. The earlier you begin to teach your child what is acceptable and what isn't - the better off you and he will be when he gets older.
Showing him no discipline would result in defiance and other behavioural issues as he got older so you're doing fine.
Don't worry about what other people think, say, or do. It's your child and they have no business telling you how to be a parent.

I'm a dad to three children (one who has ADHD and mood disorder) so I have a little experience :o)