Assalamu alaikum sisters. I have a serious question for you and I want to hear what you all think. I would ask people I know, but I feel they may judge me. This is my story. I live in America. I'm 25 now but I had a pretty strict upbringing. At the age of 12 my parents basically made me begin to wear the hijab. They would always pick me up before and after school. I really wanted to play sports in school and join in clubs and be in plays and stuff, but they wouldn't allow it. The only after school activity I was allowed was to build the set, when our school did a play. I wasn't allowed to hang out with friends after school, even if it was just for ice cream or to the mall. I guess my question is, do you ever feel that you didn't get a normal teenage life? I wished I could've gone out with friends, get pizza, go to the beach, and stuff like that. I just feel like I've missed out on so much. Sisters, please share with me what you feel. Your own situation or how you feel about mine.Thanks
2006-09-15 14:08:51 · 9 answers · asked by LeilahH 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
walaikum as salaam ,
Many hugs to you sis. I must say first, from personal experiance, i dont think that too many people would consider their upbringing "normal" due to that "grass is always greener on the other side" thing.
I am also 25 but i am a revert to Islam. But much like your self, my upbringing was about the same. But you can add only 1 hour of tv during the school week coupled with parental mental illness.
There is no reason to feel like you have missed out because Alhumdulillah you are still alive and you can do all of those things now. That is what i had to learn and realize. You cant live in the past hun, just remember it, learn from it and MOVE AHEAD FULL SPEED WITH YA HIJAB FLYIN IN THE WIND. lol if you want you can come to OHIO and hit the skating rink with me and some otha sistas. :)
Keep ya head up! (but always remember to bow your head down)
I hope i have givin you some insite, may Allah be with you.
Wa Salaam
2006-09-15 15:41:01 · answer #1 · answered by Kynnie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wa alaikom salaam, wa rahmatullah wa barakutuh
I am sorry you feel you have missed out on things, but please try to understand your parents were trying to protect you from temptation and fitnah. Please thank Allah for good parents that did not let you run the streets and get into things other "normal" teens do. You're an adult now, and there is nothing at all wrong with pizza, ice cream, the mall. But now you have the skills and knowledge to avoid what is not pleasing to Allah.
I did not experience the same upbringing, my parents were atheist, I was allowed to do all those things, and I ended up pregnant before marriage, used drugs, even went to jail.
I got my life on track much later, tried christianity, and Allah called me to Islam, and I will be forever grateful. I think if I could go back and choose, I would rather have grown up muslim in the first place and saved a lot of heartache.
May Allah continue to guide your life, and increase your knowledge and taqwa.
2006-09-15 21:32:23 · answer #2 · answered by Squirrley Temple 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i know how you feel. when i was 13 just two years after learning that there was even a religion called Islam, i was placed into an Islamic boarding school, and was forced to wear the hijab and "traditional outfit". i hated it, dont get me wrong what i learnt about Islam was great and will stay in my heart forever, but i felt like such an out cast. when i went into a store people would treat me as if i couldnt speak english, and just give me the worse looks, and nobody would think about being a friend. i missed out on everything that a normal teenager gets to do. but al-humdila im now 19, married and happy even though i dont wear the scarf anymore. and because of what i had to endure as a teen, when i have my daughters, i will let them choose to wear or not wear the scarf. after all having on a hijab doesnt make you a better person or a better muslim if you dont follow all of the other rules of islam first.
2006-09-15 21:30:32 · answer #3 · answered by tru_blu 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
my parents are muslim, but were never strict about it. i myself became muslim a couple of years ago only so i did all these things you think you missed out on, and today i wish i never did. it's a blessing to have parents that could shelter you thus, because as teenagers we get in all kinds of trouble. remember, alhamdulillah, always, no matter what. so if you had such a life, know that it is the best that could happen to you or Allah, Who loves you more than anybody including yourself, would never have decreed it for you. you have the opportunity to realize another meaning of hamdulillah through your experience. whatever happens, never doubt that Allah loves you more than anyone, and He'll always give you the best of cares as a mumin. it's when you begin doubting about His limitless mercy, care, compassion, generosity and love that Iblis begins playing games with your mind. seek refuge in Allah and be grateful for whatever you had to live through. i hope you find peace and serenity in Allah's decrees. salaam alaikum sister
2006-09-15 21:19:06 · answer #4 · answered by rayhanna 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Walikum Salam
My parents are not that strict. I cover my head at my own will. I am allowed to go out. I live in USA with my brother and my family is in Pakistan.
Why don't you talk to them about you know letting you go out or just maybe to your friends house.
I was just talking to this girl yesterday whose parents are really strict. She's not even allowed to go to her friends house.
I feel that what you are going through is not right. Just find a guy who is not really strict. (hope you're not engaged to a strict guy).
Marry someone religious but not someone who is extremely religious.
Feel free to email me if you have any questions .
2006-09-15 21:57:19 · answer #5 · answered by icehot_pk 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am sad for you . Please try to understand your parents did what they truly believed was best for you. All women regardless of religious beliefs need to fight these attempts to hold us back simply because we are women. We have much to offer the world and are it's only chance for eternal peace. We generally respect motherhood and protection of our children. Therefore we find common ground in the safety of our offspring.
2006-09-15 21:37:59 · answer #6 · answered by Wise Old Witch 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's sad.
Don't listen to G-Man he is just trying to brainwash you.
My advice is if you feel like you've missed out on part of your life, why not try and make up for it now with some good old fashioned living it up?
2006-09-15 21:31:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
bismillah
salaam
srry im a male..
but i am really happy seeing so many good people in this section excep the first guy(g-man).May ALLAH guide us further and expand our muslim ummah
peace 2 all
2006-09-15 23:38:40 · answer #8 · answered by Peace To ALL 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
thats what religion does to yoy, had you been a christian you could've been free.
to:Pudding
why would you insult me, what did i do to you?
Jesus Loves you anyways.
God bless you.this is to pudding ONLY, OK!
he or she, doesn't have an e mail.
2006-09-15 21:17:09 · answer #9 · answered by g-man 3 · 2⤊ 6⤋