ladies are lining up for my attention. I am physically active (run 20 -30 miles per week) and I have two boys 19 and 17 and two girls 13 and 9. I do not want another woman in my house. How do I let people know that I want to finish raising my kids before I think about another relationship.
2006-09-15 14:04:36 · 21 answers · asked by Richard B 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I'm sorry for your loss tell them give me time and some space for me and my family I'm just not ready right now you have every right no one is holding a gun to your head and making you go out with these woman!GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY
2006-09-15 14:08:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First, I would like to offer my condolences to you and your children. To begin with, after 23 years of marriage, it is a shame that people are so insensitive to think that after only two months you would even consider having a relationship. Unfortunately, people in today's society take love for granted. If I were you, I would be very vocal. Not that I wouldn't be kind, but I would be very straightforward and let it be made known that I had no intentions of dating and was going to put all of my energy and time into raising my children. If you someday change your mind, that is your option. But for the time being, I think you are a wise man for making the decision you have made. Not only have you lost your wife and companion, but your children have lost their mother. They will need you and your attention more now than ever.
2006-09-15 14:21:13 · answer #2 · answered by Phyllobates 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for your loss. I can't imagine losing my husband after 23 years of marriage. Let these women know that you are not interested at this time in a relationship. Be a jerk if you have to. I admire you for wanting to raise your children and not letting another woman raise them for you. Good luck with everything.
2006-09-15 17:24:03 · answer #3 · answered by vik 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. You poor guy. I am 43. Married for 23 years too. Don't know what I would do if I suddenly lost my husband. Are these women neighbors? How do they know you are now single and available? Why are they at your house? Would like to help but need more info. I would just say that you need to be straight with them and let them know that you need time to heal and your kids really need you now....and that you don't really have time for a relationship at this point. Take care of yourself. Good luck.
2006-09-15 14:11:10 · answer #4 · answered by dianee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know a lady who is going through this right now after recently losing her husband (as in your situation, it wasn't sudden for her) ... Men who were his close friends, including a widowed preacher who spoke at the funeral, have indicated their interest. I find this to be appalling behavior, and cannot believe people are so uncouth or desperate as this.
In this situation, I believe the only thing you can do is to make it clear, in no uncertain terms, that you have no interest in another relationship at the moment. People who are so inconsiderate will need a firm "No," in order to be deterred.
I am sorry for your loss. Expected or not, it's always a heartache to lose someone we cared deeply for...
2006-09-15 15:48:52 · answer #5 · answered by JenV 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is perfectly normal behavour for some... albeit very inappropriate. Some women just don't get it, have no compassion, empathy or common sense. Perhaps the only thing you can do to get the message across to these woman are your actions.........the ole saying "they speak louder than words."
Or perhaps verbalizing to them exactly what you have written here in your question " I want to finish raising my kids before I........
I am so sorry for the loss of your wife.
2006-09-15 14:17:52 · answer #6 · answered by Janet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very good dont put ur kids thew seeing you with another woman ,not yet!! date out of the house and make sure you tell these ladys about this so they dont end up at ur door!! oh dont even give them ur address 2 avoid problems !! ur a good dad and have all the right to see other lady but dont ever hurt ur kids for no other woman!im sure ur wife is very proud of you ! r.i.p
2006-09-15 14:48:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well at your age, and with the tragedy you have just suffered, your simple body language should be enough to deter any advances. Why any woman (who is aware of your situation) would make advances to you without you giving CLEAR SIGNALS that you are ready again is beyond me. If you need to humbly tell her/them that you are not ready, then you should do so politely. It's still beyond me why anyone would dare be so bold and disrespectful. I'm so sorry for your loss.
2006-09-15 14:17:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
time to heal is a must
just let them know you need time to tend to the kids and friendship is all you can have right know women will understand I am sure they just want to reach out to you. lot of us women see a good man left to raise his kids want to reach out and help and even in other ways. Think thats great you wanting to wait on a relationship hard to move on after losing a spouse. but in time if you find a really good one dont let it pass you by the kids will understand and your spouse will want you and the kids to be happy. good luck hope it all works out
2006-09-15 14:14:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be frank. Tell them you are not interested, you still miss your wife and want to just raise the kids. If they still pushing, knock em the FK out. Been there, suffered that. God Bless you on your loss and best of luck. Me only 4 yrs and gone. Married again 5 yrs later.
2006-09-15 14:13:18 · answer #10 · answered by utahraptor88 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋