I live in Wisconsin and my family live in California. Because my 16 years old brother was causing trouble at school, my parent sent him here hoping he will change if he associate with different people. He have been living us for almost 10 months. He have caused trouble after trouble at school and at home. After he was caught drinking with his friends, I decide to call it off. I want to send him home. He doesn't want to go. I told him that if he doesn't want to go, he need to listen to me and he should change. He said there are some things he could, but some he can't, and he will think about it. My dad said he's not allow to have a gf yet until he's 18. He wants a girlfriend and probably plan to sleep with her. So,he decide he can't change that part, so he will go back home.My mom beg me to give him a chance and will make an exception that he could have a gf, as long as he doesn't sleep with her because if he goes back, there will be even more headaches.
2006-09-15 12:33:22 · 9 answers · asked by Siva 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
So, I decided to give him a chance. But it doesn't mean that he can disrespect me and ignore all the rules I told him. Nowadays he won't listen to me. If I don't have to time to him anywhere, he will take off on foot and leave. He did this twice to me already. He doesn't want to help clean the house and help watch the kids. He doesn't cook for my kids well. My 4 months baby almost ran out of breath because her blanket was covering her face and he was sitting right next to him. Because he was too busy watching TV, he didn't pay any attention to my baby. He told my son that he hates my son. Should I send him back home?
2006-09-15 12:39:27 · update #1
He know the consequences, and there are times he already broke the rules already. I already told him that he need to respect me if he can't respect our parents. I'm mad because I care about his future. Anything he does now will effect his future, so he better think twice before he does it or he will regret it in the future. And I'm not gonna be there to help him because he's know what he's getting into before he did it.
2006-09-15 12:47:34 · update #2
Well, he have a part time job and we got him involved in the youth church activities, but still he does it anyway. Maybe I should just send him to Juveniles Detention?
2006-09-15 13:13:36 · update #3
Well, I spoke to my dad and he thinks I should give him a chance. Afterall, he said I am his sister, and I should try to help my brother no matter what. And if he becomes stubborn again, then I will let him know. This didn't resolve anything.
2006-09-16 07:01:02 · update #4
If he stays any longer with you, he will only make it worst. If you still want to keep the peace between both of you, then it's better to send him back to your parents to deal with it. Maybe you should give him an ultimatum again. If he would like to stay, then he need to put his act together or he will be sent home automatically.
2006-09-16 06:35:14 · answer #1 · answered by Cava 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know what thats a tuffy, the only solution i can think of is his commitment to change his drinking and behavior, that is a rule in your home stick to it, and make it clear these are the consequences to your actions, grounded loose privaleges ect, whatever you choose, even if it be he has to leave. as for the gf deal , he is a young man and that is part of human nature, who says he will be sleeping with her? especially if he finds a respectable one, she probably wont allow it. 2nd if he does start seeing a less desirable girl , then probably his behavior will follow and you step in again and set boundries, stateing that you dont approve of this girl .hey remember do not allow him to set the rules, of what he can and will not do!!!!!!!!put your food down and stick to your rules. take away privaleges money anything, or he will not see any structure or think you are serious my other thought, important guide him into some kind of extracurricular activities, whether it be daily responsibilites around the house or a pt job, this way he will have responsibility and be accomplishing something and making money in return which will increase his self esteem and keep him focused on other things. god bless you for taking on the responsibility, but you must set boundries and stick to them, also remember he is a teen and that is a very trying time for him, give him a break nobodys perfect, what a blessing he has somewhere to go , give him love and demand respect, youll be alright, i stress again, get him involved in something he has to be responsible and can be proud of himself. girls will come and girls will go. god just placed this chore in your lap for a while , i guess he fir\gured youd do the best job, good luck and gods blessings to you all
2006-09-15 19:57:00 · answer #2 · answered by betsyturminyen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's 16, he can petition the court to emancipate and live on his own. If he wants to quit school and support himself he can do whatever he wants and its just his business and he won't be bothering you or your parents anymore.
Since nobody seems to care enough to bother to try to raise him he'd probably be better off figuring things out for himself anyway.
It's too late now, but your parents should have put him up for adoption a long time ago when he had the chance to find somebody to care about him and that would raise him right.
2006-09-15 19:57:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a lot of responsibility for you, I do not think you should deal with it. at least at home, he will have 2 parents to handle him. he need to be kept on a short range, meaning every move needs to be watched, does he have a mentor? this will be good for him, to teach him some guidance. He needs to be told about making bad decisions, and the consequences that will follow him for the rest of his life.
2006-09-15 19:41:53 · answer #4 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like your parents need to step up and raise their son. you have your own kids to raise, and if they are raised around him while he acts the way he does, there is no hope for their future. if your parents can't help him and get him back on track. they should try therapy and counseling, if not there are homes for juveniles.
2006-09-15 19:58:22 · answer #5 · answered by racing_tennessee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he cant follow your rules... he needs to go back home. Its not fair to you to have to put up with him doing whatever he pleases.
2006-09-15 19:36:53 · answer #6 · answered by Michelle : 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just who the hell is the boss here, your brother or the parents??
2006-09-15 19:40:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
God bless you for trying
military school, don't give him any options
2006-09-15 21:33:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes
i dont mean to be rude but its time over due
2006-09-15 19:40:38 · answer #9 · answered by annie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋