Alcholism.Some serious advice needed.?

Question

I have a friend who is very poorly.She is addicted to cannabis and an alcholic, My friend is still in denial.I really want to help her,I love her very much.I feel that I just have to be straight with her now, and tell her that I think she is ill and needs some help.I'm really scared that she will just flip out on me.I don't want to lose her,maybe I will have to for a short time...Whats the best way to approach the subject? Has anyone had to say this to a friend before?What was the reaction?

Answer 1

My best friend waiting until the next morning when I was having a hangover and my defenses were down and that's when he told me how much he cared about me and didn't want to lose me and that I had to quit drinking. I was so wiped out, I heard him. It was one of many things that happened to me that finally enabled me to give it up eighteen years ago. Step up and speak with your friend. Listen to what she says back. Tell her it is killing her and that you are very concerned because you love and care about what happens to her. If her life is even more on the line, then do what is called an intervention where you and two or three of your friends meet with her all at once and get her into some kind of treatment program to recover, and do not take "no" for an answer. If you care about you friend, nothing you can do will be too much if it saves her life and gives her another chance to enjoy it. Sent with good energies to you from Chris in South Portland, Maine, U.S.A. (I am 63 years old.)

Answer 2

Yeah, I've been there a few times. Different reactions, but almost always I had to lose that person, if only for a time. Your approach is absolutely right, so deal with it that way and tell your friend that you don't want to lose her because you value her, and its hurting you to see her put herself through this. Tell her you will always be there for her in any way you can if she needs your help, but you cannot just stand by and watch her destroy herself as you think she is worth way more. Then step back and see what happens. I have one very dear friend, who just carried on like before as though I had said nothing. Its taken some time but she is gradually coming round to realising she has a problem. Now all she says is "I can't stop, I can't help it, I'm too weak" soI have to spend my time telling her that she is strong, and that she has a choice to make and that she can do it. It is starting to work. I think you will deal with this situation just fine, just tell her what you said above, it says it all. Good luck, and God bless.

Answer 3

It can be a problem - especially if she is taking alcohol and cannibis. They have opposing reactions. Really, all you can do is monitor her intake of both. You can say what you like to her but she will continue to use cannibis, as it does take a hold of people. How long has she been on it? Has her intake incresed? Alcohol everyday? Smoking everyday/all day? These are things you should consider before taking any action. Sometimes it's just boredom, so try and distract her attention. It could be a deeper cause. So maybe a deep and meaningful could help.

She maybe enjoys the feeling, in which case don't ask her to stop, just look at cutting back. As long as she is still able to take care of herself and is not aggressive, emotionally unstabe or totally out of character, I wouldn't worry too much at this stage.

Just take one step at a time. If you really want to help then just take it slow. One step at a time.

You can mail me if you like.

Answer 4

If and when you approach the subject, there is every liklihood that she will be in denial. The alcohol is often a sympton of other issues. Your friend is possibly scared that without the alcohol, she will be unable to face, what to her are probably more serious problems.

In order to face a de-tox programme your friend is going to have to be ready and willing to undertake what is a tremendous step. It is not something you can assist her with, other than to let her know that she will have your support.

What you or anyone else should never do and that is to insist that she stops drinking full stop. It does have to be a carefully regulated reduction supervised by professionals. Unfortunately, death is a possibility of instant or too quick withdrawal.

Good luck to both you and your friend.

Answer 5

I know you want to help. I have a friend in a very similar position. His problem, like your friend's, is alcohol. He simply does no know when to stop. For him, one drink is too many and two, not enough. How to help? Simply be there for her when she finally realises what she is doing to herself. You should not broach the subject as she will probably get angry with you. She is in denail as you said, and therefore no amount of pointing it out will get the result you want. This has to come from her. When she realises she has a problem she will need every good friend she has.
Be patient and hope she wakes up to the situation before something serious happens to her, or worse, she, in a drunken stupor, happens to someone else and does something that can never be remedied.
I wish you well.

Answer 6

There is some very good literature available on the internet. Check out the AA website and get some info. Yes I recently told a friend that I thought he was an alcoholic. He agreed but is not willing to stop. Your friend may admit she has a problem but she will also have to accept it and be willing to do something about.

Answer 7

Don't ask her to stop?Get around the issues that has most likely led to the current pattern of susbstance use.

your friend seems to be self medicating herself for mental health issues.
I t seems that she may probably be Depressed or has an anxiety problem.

Both alcohol and cannabis has a calming and a soothing effect and people very commonly try to self medicate themselves knowingly or unknowingly

Her depression may be brought on by alcohol or she started to fight the depression with alcohol.

Important approahes that may succeed.
1) Don't ask her to stop drinking.Discuss how her mood his(how she is feeling).her sleep,her appetite,her concentration levels,Does she get fatigued fast.Ask her whether she has any suicidal thoughts and whether she has made any plans.

If the answer is yes to most of the qestions above especially if she says she has a low mood with suicidal thoughts and if these symptoms have been persisting for more than 2 weeks.She is very likely to be diagnosed with depression.The depression may be mild ,moderate or severe.

Your friend will be more receptive to your advise when she is able to verbalise her feelings.

2) the other important thig is to ask her to start taking Vitamin tablets especially Vitamin B1(thiamine).Alcoholics have very low levels of it due to a poor diet and poor absorption of the Vitamin.

Ask her to to take Vit B compound strong 1 tab 3 times daily.Deficiency of this vitamin can cause memory impairment,which can be permanent. and irreversible.

3)Look whether you friend has developed an addiction to alcohol?Does she have tremors when she is unable to get a drink?does she have nausa and vommiting,sweating,increased pulse rate etc.Does she have a the first drink as soon as she gets up.

If the answers are mainly yes,She has developed dependnce to it?It means that she needs medical help?

If she has developed a dependence to it,Advising her to stop suddenly can be dangerous as the brain will get excited and bring about seizures and the fatal Delirium tremens.

If she is unwilling to seek medical help she can do a self detox by a gradual decrease in her drink.eg-If she drinks 8 cans of beer .Ask her to reduce it to 7 cans for the next 3 days then reduce it to 6 over the next 3 days and continue reducing it till she reaches to 1 can,she can then have 1/2 a can and subsequently stop.

A fast way is to do a medical detox with Chlorodiazepoxide.Your friend can be alcohol free in 5 -10 days time.Mild to moderate dependence about 5 days.svere dependence may need 10 days and probably an inpatient alcohol detox.

Once she is detoxed she can be started on an antidepressant which will help her with the depression and anxiety.

Is she refuses to budge encourage her to see her doctor for a general chat of her current circumstances.

Be patient,offer encouragement,support and an ear to listen.

Best wishes

Answer 8

As sad as this sounds, she needs to hit rock bottom before she'll admit and accept that she has a problem, until that she's just gona carry on. Just make sure you're there to help her get back up again and see her through professional help. She'll definately need professional help but people don't realise that that isn't enough to ensure recovery.
You need someone to keep you on the right track when you return to your old environment to stop you getting back into your old ways. Good Luck

Answer 9

you can not do anything Hun my mates same but you cant help her till she helps her self she could need counselling shes hurting you can just be with her you could see your Dr explain your problem he should give you a number or numbers you can ring to get advice i was bit of drinker a binge drinker i couldn't and still cant just have a drink so i keep away now and i was doing drugs for 3 yrs solid 1 day woke up had enough and sorted my life out been clean for 6 yrs but i still get relapse where i do drink but no drugs really what i am SAying is she sa to find her own way out of the black hole i feel for you Hun

Answer 10

I can't help with the drug prob but you're right, you have to be honest with her, tell her like it is and no sympathising otherwise she'll think she's got your support to carry on. I had it said to me and I flipped but when I calmed down I just let my friends carry on telling me the truth. They're still good friends because of their tough love. The other answers are right, she has to want to stop and there's nothing you can do for her. For more info about her illness (although you seem to have a good understanding of it already) and support for yourself think about going to an Al-Anon meeting. They're for family and friends in a similar situation to yours.