Husband's biological kids moved after I sponsored them to come to the USA because my husband asked me and I'm an American Citizen, ages are: 11, 15, 18 and 21.They are all Muslim and so is he. If we watch a movie; he sits while everyone watches a mafioso graphically bet a man to death with a baseball bat. Different movie, everyone watches while car runs over guy then backs up over him repeatedly, no probs for Dad. Married couple in film kisses in front of their house in daylight. Dad goes ape to turn channel. 21 also demands film be fast-forwarded. Scene in Titanic where L.D & K.W. are at the front of the boat was fast-forwarded. Man and woman kiss/hug--bad, brutal violence relished?! Family goes 2 mall, 21 yr old (male) alone w/digital cable for 4 hrs. He ordered $70 in xxx hard PORN! Hubby purchased porn before kids came. Now if a man & woman innocently kiss w/clothing ON (PG film) it is quickly turned off by Dad & 21 YO son. Is this hypocrisy, insanity, normal, something else...?
2006-09-15 12:23:14 · 9 answers · asked by zoe_southernusa 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Roxanne, here it is: That is absolutely insane. There is nothing normal about those standards.
What do you have in common with this person? How can someone with your standards manage to live with someone who thinks it's fine to let kids watch disgusting violence?
This is a cultural clash which is not likely to be reconciled. Knowing only what you've told us, I don't understand how you can continue in this relationship. And I think it's your absolute duty to disallow these violent films in your household. You are doing wrong if you keep letting these children watch violence. Stop allowing violent films into your household. You know it's wrong, now act on it.
Good luck.
2006-09-15 13:29:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Violence is as forbidden in Islam as fornication. I imagine, they realize that the violence is just a "movie" and the children are older. Although it is not appropriate to watch such violence in the presence of children. Your husband may feel lost in the presence of his Children in America, and does not want them to become desensitized to "sex" as a norm. It is something private, and should be shared between a husband and a wife. You should mention to your husband that you feel the violence is inappropriate for the children to watch, but do not compare it to the sex scenes... As far as bringing up the two side by side in the conversation, I don't think it would be a good idea, because they are two separate issues... If you don't feel the violence is a problem.. Then just drop it... They are his children and it will take some time for him to come up with a comfort zone... JUST REMEMBER THE SAYING do as I say not as I do...
2006-09-15 14:06:21 · answer #2 · answered by Tina 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't know a whole lot about the Muslim religion, but maybe you should ask your husband to explain this to you. Maybe sex of any sort is taboo, and violence is just a fact of life. I have no idea. Do you and your husband never kiss or show affection in front of the children?
2006-09-15 13:02:05 · answer #3 · answered by Lady J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is just my guess since I am not in their heads... but it sounds to me as if they are insensitive to the violence.... it never occurs to them that the violence is not appropriate.... however the porn... they feel guilty about.. its one thing for them to do it... but with kids around they feel like they did something "wrong" or "dirty" and SOME of this might have to do with religious beliefs. Many religions make sex seem dirty but dont address violence at all.
The only way you will ever know is to sit them down and ask them sometime when the other children are not nearby.
2006-09-15 12:34:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think your husband is over reacting. I am not sure but could it be a cultural thing? Since you are married to him, and YOU sponsored them to come to the united states, if you feel he is being unfair you need to have a talk with him. maybe he doesn't realize what he is doing.
2006-09-15 12:35:08 · answer #5 · answered by fandj4ever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Traditional Muslim men are among the most sexually repressed people on earth.
My father, a jesus freak, and I do mean freak, was the same way. Any woman that wore a mini skirt was a hoe, and he would say the words, to me making sure she could hear. Yet he had many skin mags and books that he kept in a suitcase under his bed.
Can you say "hypocrite"
2006-09-15 12:43:16 · answer #6 · answered by gobobgo55 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Probably miss-heard.
I think he must have siad you cannot see can see violence but can see kissing.
2006-09-15 12:56:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes in muslim culture it's normel !
2006-09-15 12:48:14 · answer #8 · answered by Liza_Ray 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i don't know
2006-09-15 12:26:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋