My boyfriend's ex has described him as emotionally unavailable and uncommunicative. Not exactly a shinning review. I would love some advice on how to best approach this problem. I don't want to scare the man off but I certainly don't want to accept sub-par. I really do like him and am curious if any emotionally unavailable men or their girlfriends have any advice as to how to deal with this issue.
2006-09-15 12:18:43 · 8 answers · asked by meabbalou 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Your opinion and her opinion are totally different things because you are both coming from a different perspective.
First of all I would test the waters and see for yourself if this guy really is what she says and keep an open mind.
If it proves that he really is, I would start by taking it one day at a time, you can assess how much you really like him and decide if you want to take it a step further. When taking next steps, I would take one at a time.
Some guys just need time to mature, it could be that it just so happens that this girl was with him when he was emotionally immature which could change when he is with you.
2006-09-15 12:31:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the type of person your boyfriend is. Very well, in fact. His dysfunctional behavior will only magnify in time because he is void of intimacy. If you can look back into his past, you will clearly find out the cause of his lack of emotionalism. It is about his parents, abandonment issues, abuse and feelings of no self worth. He pushes everyone away because he feels no one can love him. I bet he is beginning to lose his friends if that has not already been happening. I bet he is not close to his family either, huh? This is not about you. It is about him. Nothing you have done or can do will change his personality. This is who he has always been and this is who he will continue to be. You knew something was wrong all along but you just realized, after two years, what it was. Now that you know, you are wondering what you should or should not to to get on or off that emotional roller coaster which he has the controls to. I am going to be blunt: Get off the emotional roller coaster because it is just going to make you dizzy. Now and in five years from now. This is what you got; an emotionally unavailable boyfriend. But, you looooooove him, right? Well, one day you will have had enough of this nonsense you call your relationship and you will pack up and leave. The real question is: will I do this now and save myself years of grief or will I endure more grief until I decide it is then time to leave? Pick one, because, sweetheart one or the other IS going to happen. Take control and begin an exit strategy or grin and bear it and be unhappy.
2016-03-27 03:21:18 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"emotionally unavailable" doesn't define who he is, it only describes how he was with a particular individual. I know, I've been there, but unavailable, means unavailable. What part of unavailable is unclear? The good news is that if he wants you, if he's into you, he will become available, emotionally as well as every other way. Men open up emotionally through physical intimacy. So, if he wants you, and you want him, make passionate love often and his heart will be warm and tender for you. And if he doesn't want you, if he's not into you, that means he's unavailable, so find someone who is available.
2006-09-15 12:39:26 · answer #3 · answered by shine_radiantstar 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Men are not on our level of emotion. Stop looking for that man that's going to listen to you and give you some understanding. Emotionally, they're just not there. But have a good time while you're searching.
2006-09-15 12:23:50 · answer #4 · answered by Doodlebug 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
"Emotionally unavailable" sounds like psycho babble nonsense that really means "he doesn't agree with everything I say".
You say you like the guy. What is it you like about him? Does he show you any affection? Is he a mute? If you answer yes and no, respectively, then maybe he's okay.
There's a reason why she's the ex. Take it with a grain of salt.
2006-09-15 12:26:04 · answer #5 · answered by eddygordo19 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like you are trying to date a cardboard box.
2006-09-15 12:22:55 · answer #6 · answered by K.O. 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You can't fix him. He is what he is and if that's not what you want then leave now instead of wasting months or years with him.
2006-09-15 12:21:58 · answer #7 · answered by sunssecret 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you dont deal with them, you run away fast.
2006-09-15 12:20:34 · answer #8 · answered by RedColette 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋