was dumped 2 weeks ago,after a week i sent a few texts to my ex,how many days/weeks shud wait to ask her back

Question

i have read to ignore my ex as much as possible,dont give her any attention to get here back,but how long do i wait to ask for her back 2 weeks , 3 -4? how long do i play this waiting game?and what is the best way to ask her back?

Answer 1

First of all, the only people playing the games are the girls, and to stand any sort of chance against this you need to learn a little about it in order to combat it and at least stand an even chance. If it were up to guys then life would be simple. You'd meet people you liked, if you both agreed then you'd end up together. If you talked honestly and let your partner know what was going on in your head at different stages then you can cope with anything that happens. BUT the brain of a woman does not work that way. Things have to get complicated before they get interested sometimes. Their emotion centres in their brain demand drama. If they cannot get it one way they will get it in another. If you can manufacture enough drama to keep her interested then she will not make up her own drama that usually involves making your life a misery. You have to make her run around trying to please you instead of the other way around, as this will be interpreted by her as a sign of weakness, as I will explain.
Now, there are 2 possible reasons for her dumping you. One is that she is not getting enough drama from you. Think about the past. Has she invented certain things, or blown small things WAY out of proportion? If you grovel and say sorry then that's not really what she wants. She wants some tension, sexual or otherwise to feed that drama centre in the brain. It is also like a test that is instinctive and goes back to caveman days. If you capitulate this is a sign of weekness. IE- she thinks, through some ancient memory that if you back down over the slightest thing like this then what's going to happen when something threatens our babies, will he run away and let us be eaten?- So when things like these tests occur you cannot fail too many of them or she will get the message from her genes that your genes are not good enough. This is the 2nd reason she may have dumed you. You have to pass the tests by not backing down to anything, or at least not right away on her terms. Even if you make it clear that something is YOUR decision, then have a think about it and chose the option she wanted this can be made to look like you have usued your authority and judgement in a manner that she will think you will be good to have around to protect all the cave babies in the future. Most women don't know this is all going on. They just get impulses to do things from their crazy brains and it appears in the real world as all the games that go on in the female world.
So, to sum up- she either doesn't get what she needs from you at the moment because she is not getting the drama she craves, either because you aren't gving her what she wants in terms of sexual tension/emotional excitement/drama, or just back down whenever she invents some drama, or blows something up to create it.
You might think you were being a great, sensitive guy and all that, but believe me, I have always been like that and some woman THINK they like men like that, infact I believe lots of them think they WANT their men to be like that, but the truth is that their own brains will not let them be with men like that. How many times have you heard about women who always complain because they seem to end up with bad boy types all the time? They all say 'if only I could find a nice, charming man who is sensitive'. The problem is if they ever did meet him, they'd dump him so fast because they wouldn't get the drama they crave. Either that or they'd think he was some kind of wimp in the first place and never go out with him. You do get, very occasionally, very nice girls who CAN supress their 'inner voices' because they are nice people and they like being around nice people, the problem is that these are not the kind of girls you meet in nightclubs, or other traditional places that you might try to pick someone up. They are quiet and shy and often don't wear makeup. You might not be attracted to girls like this though, and if you are not then I hope you are prepared for a life of constant battle in order to supress her game playing.

So, with all that in mind ( sorry for the huge novel here)....
Send her 1 more message. Tell her that you were a bit down after splitting up, but you've got through that and moved on now. Tell her sorry for anything you might have said in your texts, if they seemed a bit funny it is because you were in a different emotional state to normal.
THEN tell her that you want to thank her for letting you see the bigger picture. You had become a bit complaicent and too comfortable with the situation you had together. You ended up falling into the trap of taking her for granted, but now you feel like you have woken up from your sleep and realised what had happened to you, that you had changed and were not the person you really are.
Try to put this in your own words obviously, but the important bit next is what you need to get across:- *You are over her*. you have went out a couple of nights to some places ( tell her some places if you want- places you know). You've met a bunch of nice people, been on a date. *You have moved on with your life*. tell her more is planned for the next weekend or whever you like to go out and do stuff. Say you are even thinking about a long weekend away somewhere with some friends to somewhere- Dublin, Ibiza, or New york. Whatever place you think is good that she will know of as a place where you might meet *other girls*.She might have dumped you, but I'll bet she doesn't want anyone else having you. Not yet anyway. She will be thinking that you might be good for providing her with an emotional pillow to lean on whenever she feels like it, so you will have to deal with all her crap whenever she feels bad, but you will never get anything in return because "we're friends now".
You cannot think anymore in terms of wanting her back. No- she must win YOU back. You are great and she must do something special if you are going to take her back. THIS is what you must think about whenever you are dealing/texting/talking to her. Do not lose sight of this, do not deviate from that thought, and always have it at the back of your mind in the coming dealings with her.
Now, young grasshopper, that you have learned the mysteries of the woman- go forth and conquer......

P.S Women have plenty more mysteries, it's just the way their brain works. Even if they wanted to they couldn't change it. Just remember to try and create your own, controlled, mini situations in future. That way she will get her need for drama out on situations that ou can control, and you can even spin it the way you want it so that you can come out looking like the guy in charge, or are really good person to have in a crises etc...:)

John L

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Were u dumperd by your ex? If i'm understanding your question correctly and you were dumped then the option to ask her to come back to you is not there. The option would be for you to ask her to take you back.
I'm not sure what you've been reading but there is no set time limit on emotions and especially where love is concerned.
If you both need a cooling off period you should discuss for how long and give it a time frame like two weeks or a few days or a month. Whatever you agree on.
If you are playing games then you need to stop that bcz it is not a foundation for a relationship. If she is the one playing games are you sure you want to go back to that?
Love is for real and life is for real. Be real and don't play games or don't hang with people who play emotional war games. They hurt all involved.

Answer 4

Your first problem is that you are playing games at all..do you want a chess partner or a relationship???? Quit playing games with her, thats manipulation and wouldn't you prefer a relationship based on truth and reality? Secondly, why did she dump you? What did she do? If she made it clear that she is done with you then you don't ask her back, you accept that she has moved on and you do the same. You can't make someone want to be with you, no matter what tactics you use, she either does or she doesn't. Sounds to me like she doesn't. Did she respond to the texts you sent? You need to sit down and think logically...not emotionally. Why did she leave? Did she make it clear that shes done or give you some sign that she might be open to talking about it? She hasn't contacted you in two weeks so I'm thinking she is done.

Answer 5

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Answer 6

Generally people don't like games. If she doesn't want to continue the relationship then there is nothing you can do - I am sorry to say. You should get the re-bound thing out the way, go and have fun. It will pass the time, and if you want to know if she will take you back then seeing someone else will let you know if she's still interested.

Good luck - and just go enjoy yourself for a while!

Answer 7

Ask why she dumped you in the first place, and if she would consider getting back with you. If she is willing to consider going back to you ask her if there is anything she would like differently from you.
If she does not want to go back to you, you'll have to move on.
Hope this helps and good luck.

Answer 8

Perhaps the game playing was the problem. I don't know what you're reading but please stop! Women want to be treated with respect. If you really care for this woman treat her like your best friend. Tell her openly and honestly how you feel about her. If it doesn't work then move on.

Answer 9

it depends wat happened btw u two? did she break up with u or u with her? and well it depends do u luv her or at least care for her enof to give u two a try again? if yes then by all means find a way to get her back if not pls move on with ur life!!
Peace! 1

Answer 10

you was dumped for a reason if you get back with her then you will split up for the same reason only it'll be ten times worse.

i would move on if i was you.

Answer 11

No one likes people who get back together