I have had nothing but stress and frustration since my stepson moved in with us in May. We took custody of him because his mom was at her wits end dealing with his behavior and we thought a change in environment would help him. We also put him in counceling, but nothing has changed. It has been getting worse. He lies, steals, and just out right causes trouble. The first 6 weeks is not even out and he has been given detention, got suspended from the bus, and is about to be removed from the bus permanently. I have felt like a prisoner in my own house since he came here. He disrespects us, has stolen from me so much that I don't dare leave anything valuable out in the house, and he shows no remorse. We laid out groundrules, gave him consequenses of breaking them, and even offered rewards for good behavior. He didn't care about any rewards, he just wanted to do what he wanted to do. I tried and it didn't work. Am I suppose to feel bad? I feel nothing but relief to have my life back.
2006-09-15 10:07:23 · 14 answers · asked by LittleMermaid 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Just to add: His mom is going to put him in a special school for boys with behavioral problems, in Missouri.
2006-09-15 10:12:38 · update #1
She called it military school, but I don't know if that is what it really is.
2006-09-15 10:14:32 · update #2
I think it is a normal reaction to feel relief after a stressful situation has ended, no matter what the situation is. You are only human. Just take stock in the fact you and your husband did the best you could do and came through it with your marriage still intact. Now is the time to embrace your husband and know you both did all you could do to help this troubled boy and now he is getting the help he needs. Best of luck to your family.
2006-09-15 10:26:50 · answer #1 · answered by feather girl 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No it is not a bad thing at all .. trust me! I get our step son every other week.. and this past week I could have pulled my hair out and ran away! I couldnt wait for the day he went back to his mom! We as step parents are in a very very very trying and hard situation! I would not feel bad if you know deep in your hear that you gave him 100% than oh well. That is the way I look at it.. It is hard and it is hard to give advise because I am right there with you.. I know we are going to have a meeting with the ex and her husband to try to find ways in dealing with it as a whole?! Maybe you guys could do that too?! It is hard on everyone in the family. I guess thank god he left and I really do feel for you and hope that one day it does get better.. maybe you should all go see a couselor? Best of luck you are in my thoughts!
2006-09-15 17:09:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that would be a normal response to a child like that leaving your home. He still needs the help of his family, yes you included, for the issues that he is going through. What did the counsler say? Was it at a mental health clinic? if not you might want to go that route with him, he may need to be hospitalized and be put on meds. Only they would be able to tell.
2006-09-15 17:14:58 · answer #3 · answered by Joy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you and your husband, and his mom should be doing is finding a good military school for him to go to. Moving him from house to house and being unable to deal with him isn't going to help this kid. Since both parents have tried and failed, perhaps it's time to look into military school where he will be forced to learn respect and how to be a respectable human being.
2006-09-15 17:10:19 · answer #4 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How many children do you have? You have a son who rarely sees his deadbeat dad, you have a stepson whom you can't wait to get rid of, you have a daughter you want to put in a kids' beauty pageant . . . is anything going right you with your kids?
Try reading a book called Family First by Dr. Phil. It sounds like you need it. Good luck.
2006-09-15 20:32:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should put him in one of the programs. Its a school that has boarding. They have to earn points for good behavior. they can use these points to make phone calls get visits from family. its the only way to gain control again. it may seem like your giving up you child. but your not. your giving up a spoiled brat and getting your child back in return.
2006-09-15 17:10:01 · answer #6 · answered by charlie21205 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all how old is this boy? And where is his father? Has he been evaluated for some kind of mental illness? He needs to see a professional. It should have not gotten this far.
2006-09-15 19:17:32 · answer #7 · answered by colleen3273 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, it's not horrible! It's perfectly normal and no one should hold it against you. Just enjoy your freedom from this burden. Hopefully he'll get the proper help where he is going.
2006-09-15 18:03:26 · answer #8 · answered by trainedandready 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, it is not. You did not abuse him, and it sounds like you tried to do your best. His parents (or his mother, whoever raised him) did not do their job when they were supposed to, and I do not see why you should suffer.
Hope it all works out of him and for you.
2006-09-15 17:40:47 · answer #9 · answered by jimbell 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thank goodness that kid is out of your house! don't feel guilty about being relieved he is gone. he obviously has some serious problems that need professional help.
2006-09-15 18:14:01 · answer #10 · answered by Patti B 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋