I have been with my boyfriend for 14 months now and we have our ups and downs like nomal relationships do. the problem is when we argue its usually about "jealousy", anything with the opposite sex upsets me, I cannot stand to think of him with another female. i know i shouldn't be thinking that, and he reassures me all the time that he loves me and only me and im not going to loose him. I trust him and he trusts me. When we argue he tells me that i need to work on my jealous issues because thats the problem. When we argue its usually about him glancing at other females and he denies that he doesnt look at them...i personally think that he is/ i really want to stop being so jealous, i think he is going to leave me for another beauitful women because she has a nicer body than me, all of this goes through my mine, and i dont want it to effect our relationship, he tells me that he will always be faithful and that he loves me. i just want to be happy. Please give me some advice to help.
2006-09-15 09:05:12 · 10 answers · asked by old 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is a pretty common problem, especially early in a relationship. It sounds like you have some negative feelings about your body and attractiveness. Remember, he wouldn't have begun dating you if he didn't like your looks (no matter whether you fit the "typical" mold of what's attracive).
Women in this culture are constantly made to feel they must "measure up" to an impossible standard of beauty: the Victoria's Secret ads and so on! Forget about that stuff and concentrate on liking your body...get in shape so you feel good, wear stuff YOU like and your boyfriend says is nice (not that you should only dress for him!).
That being said, many guys don't realize how insulting it is if they DO stare at other women when they're with a date/girlfriend! It's just rude. If he really IS doing this (and you're not imagining it...put some thought into that)...then let him know how you feel, in a serious talk. If he doesn't knock it off, I would have real doubts about his respect for you. Or...he could just be clueless!
However, IMO, in most cases, it's 75-95% the case that the girl is insecure.
2006-09-15 09:15:04 · answer #1 · answered by Gwynneth Of Olwen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Someone said that you dont trust him. That's not always the case. I was the same way with an ex of mine(we didnt break up b/c of that) and I always though he was checking out every boob walking by. the way your thinking, you're going to see every detail that he is looking at. Do you sometimes think that he is looking at some chicks a** when maybe he is looking past that at something else? or if he does look at another girl, he's looking a little too long? I knoew something was wrong with me when I starting getting depressed over those things. It has to do with insecurity also. I talked to my mom about it and she said that I should go to the doctor b/c if the mind keeps stressing over bad thoughts, its a chemical imbalance in the brain. I'm on Paxil and it works. My mind no longer stresses over stupid stuff and you eventually dont worry about what he's looking at. You'll notice but you wont go balastic over it!! Good luck
2006-09-15 10:16:07 · answer #2 · answered by Ash 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there . firstly i am a female. Wether we like it or not males will always look at other attractive females and you have to be honest with yourself as well by asking have you ever seen and looked at a hot looking guy? of course you have. Difference is males seem to be les discreet in their curiosity leading their partners feeling disrespected. They dont mean it that way and often dont even realise how overt they are. Dont lose picture of the bigger picture though, they are only looking, trust me . However if someone is going to leave you for another female there is absolutely nothing you can do about it but your partner perving while with you is nothing to worry about . My advice to you is , as hard as it is just ignore it and i guarente over a period of time it wont worry you . Good luck.
2006-09-15 09:20:53 · answer #3 · answered by Adrian 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I know how to get over this....
Yes, he is looking at other women. I catch guys walking down the street with their girlfriends look at me all the time. That doesn't me I'm going to run after him. I always catch my boyfriend looking at other girls. So...I check her out too. "I dont know babe, her butt looks big?" and he would say "well, I was looking at her chest, but your right she does have a big butt!" and then we would start laughing and making fun of the girl.
You have to understand guys, staring at girls is part of their nature would you feel more comfortable if they were look at other guys? That when I would freak out..."Honey, were just looking at that guys package?" You just have to let men be men, try to have fun with it.
And I know, you are ALWAYS thinking "what is he doing right now? could he be cheating on me?" The best way to get this off your mind is to try to think of something else that is bothering. You have to get your car fixed, your mom is pissing you off, your nails look bad, I dont know! Distract your mind from cheating, cause hes probably thinking about you too.
I can you this one thing though, that if you dont stop the jealousy he will get fed up and not find a girl with a better body, but find a girl who doesnt get jealous.
2006-09-15 09:20:36 · answer #4 · answered by TroubleRose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is almost nothing less attractive than a jealous or insecure mate. Work on your self esteem, improve on the things you do well and learn to feel good and love yourself. Enjoy the times you are with your boyfriend and don't ruin them by being suspicious or he will learn not to want to be around you because the time is filled with negativity. Believe in him unless and until you have facts to back up your tantrums.
....one more thing, all guys look at other girls. It is natural for them, it doesn't have anything to do with you. I usually make a silly joke to my husband like (you're drooling); (i hope nobody steps on your tongue.) Anyway good luck and remember to laugh and have fun as much as you can with your partner.
2006-09-15 09:19:29 · answer #5 · answered by shannamac 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you may
have some low self esteem issues.
To change you have to want to get better
not just talk about it.
I dont care what men say they always look
at the next HOT think
but he is with you, devoted to you.
That is what you have to keep in mind
HE COMES HOME TO YOU PERIOD!
2006-09-15 09:11:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're insecure he will eventually have faith the world does not begin and end with him there's a fine line between jealous and crazy
2006-09-15 09:09:12 · answer #7 · answered by D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you trust him, but it obvious that you don't. Jealousy is all about mistrust.
2006-09-15 09:14:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do NOT trust him. If you did you would not be jealous.
2006-09-15 09:08:03 · answer #9 · answered by trovanhawk 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
YOU DON'T TRUST YOUR MAN. IF YOUR DON'T TRUST HIM THEN WHY WASTE YOUR TIME AND BE WITH HIM
2006-09-15 09:09:46 · answer #10 · answered by FRECKLES 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋