self-harm?

Question

i've been self harming for 4 years (i'm 16). i managed to stop it for about a few months. but because i'm so stressed out, i'm tempted on harming myself again. i am punching everything in sight. how can i stop?

Answer 1

i did this - and it doesn't help in the long run - trust me - i was in your shoes once!

whatever you do, DO NOT SELF HARM...

get yourself a diary - any sort of diary, just an old notebook will do, but write in it everything thats stressing you out - every time you feel like punching something, grab your diary and rant and rave about everything that's really P*ssing you off in your diary - it really helps - and then go for a long walk - a fast, long walk, to anywhere, but preferably to somewhere where you end up in the middle of nowhere, and when you get there, SCREAM your loudest and shout and stamp and get it out of your system - then sit down and clear your mind and then take a slow walk home - by the time you get home, you'll be wondering why you got so stressed out in the first place!!!

try it, i know it sounds weird, and you may feel silly scraming to yourself in the middle of nowhere, but it really does help - i have been there - my parents made me go to counselling when i was 15, but it didn't help, cos i was determined that no one else apart from me new how i could possibly be feeling, and then a friend bought a diary and i wrote everything in it - and then gradually i could answer the questions and problems that i was facing.

i know what you are going through and i can promise you it will pass - so please give my suggestions a try

email me if you feel you want to chat - i dont mind and will answer as soon as possible

your friend if you need me,

x

Answer 2

Self harm is a bit of an irony isn't it - by cutting yourself you are releasing stress which is causing you distress. Many teenagers have strong emotions that make them feel totally pent up and frustrated; and that no-one else understands how brutal it can be. Adults have blocked this part of their lives out because it was so excruciating at times and as we have come out the other end as grownups, we have figured out how to internalise these feelings without physically harming ourselves either with implements, drink, drugs or sex. It is hard to find a way to escape these feelings and the aforementioned are popular ways to lose yourself in the moment.
If you have stopped it for a while, there must be something that has occupied you and distracted you enough that self harming has not been appealing - you haven't needed it. Try and figure out what that is and consider if it will work again. The release of stress, emotional pain or anger when seeing the blood is deeply felt, but a time comes when you know deep down inside that it wont work for you. This just means that you have found some other way to cope with growing up. There are very very few adults who self harm because they have come through that part of their lives where it was their only option.
Anger is a natural and healthy emotion, and teenagers feel it very keenly at the injustices they see and feel as they get older. When we were children we had a great sense of who we were and what we were about, but as we get older we have to conform to the adult world which in many ways is about hiding who you really are or being hypocritical. As kids we could be in the moment always; as adults we lose that. This is brutal. We try hard not to feel anything and then get so wound up that we panic and fear that we feel nothing at all, and part of the self harming is to convince ourselves that we do feel. But I believe its more about release. No wonder we all get so fcuked off we could kill. Its much easier to internalise the rage and hack at our selves to kill the pain.
The good news is that once you have come thru it all, you find out who you really are - after all you will spend most of your life as an adult (only about 10 years as a child) and it is this period that defines you. It is a bit like grieving for losing your sense of self as the child you were, and fear of embracing the unknown. You will look back on this and see how brave you were because you kept your s h i t together and didnt lash out at other people. Finding an outlet for it all would be a good idea as it gives you a focus - firstly finding something that will work and then committing to it to give you a sense of purpose. Maybe contact sport, or a political issue that touches you, or wanting to make the lives of the less fortunate better, or going to college/uni and throwing yourself into a few years of study. It is amazing how much better helping others makes you feel - because it distracts you from being stuck with your own thoughts. I wish you good luck.

Answer 3

I also am a self harmer and am trying desperately to stop like you. I have tried a therapist and we didn t click so now I m trying another. Don t give up! U have to find the best solution for u and get some professional help because there are people out there that can help u. Its great that u managed to stop for 6 months! I find the website www.lifesigns.org.uk very helpful. There is a message board where u can talk to others who understand completely how u feel. Hope u feel stronger soon

Answer 4

You will only stop when you understand why you're doing it. Then you may decide there are other ways of dealing with your stress. Keep a journal, write down how you feel when you harm yourself - do you get some relief afterwards ? Being a teenager is hard. You're mixed up, don't know what to do with yourself and think that no-one else suffers like you do. TALK to someone you trust. There are ways you can feel better but YOU need to take control of your life.

Answer 5

Too many people today feel discontentment and end up in self destructive mode (self harm can be anything; smoking, drinking, drugs, alcohol, cutting, etc etc etc).

Mostly it's born out of a lack of stimulation, aim, direction in life. So, find something that truly interests you. Additionally, find something that takes you out of your 'head' and forces you to care and think about others (e.g. volunteer somewhere where people need help in some way). It will give you a different perspective with which to see life and the world.

Get busy. Find an aim. Find something that interests you.
There is a fine line between sanity and insanity and that, my friend, is responsibility.

Simply stop cutting yourself and find an alternative outlet. By that - I mean find something else that makes you FEEL. Cutting is simply a way for someone to reassure themselves that they feel. Good luck!

Answer 6

I think you need to get some professional help but in the mean time try not to think about it too much. When you get stressed take several deep breaths and try to relax, don't focus on negative things in your life and, if possible talk to a friend or your family.

I know it's not much help but this is a tough issue. I used to self harm too but managed to stop about 5 years ago. It's really difficult but you just have to keep fighting it. Try to remember that you are worth more.

Take care and God bless.

xxx

Answer 7

Strongly recommend medical help. Go see a therapist. Self harm is a way people cope with their problems. Instead of cutting, talking it out. Solving it the problem. Or you could replaced self-harm with you favorite activities like swimming, reading or giving yourself a treat everytime you resist the urge to self harm. Shred paper, write a diary. Anything that is legal and doesn;t hurt yourself or others. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 8

I know that you are feeling hopeless but think about those who you will hurt by hurting yourself. Those who really love you, your family, your parents.
Firstly you have to realise what is making you so unhappy. Look around you, there are many people who don't have anything. No food to eat, no clothes to wear, innocent people are dying because of problems between countries. Life is so precious. How can you just give it up?
What makes you think that you will be at peace after death? What if you will be in a worst condition and no one will be able to hear you? Maybe you have heard from other people about death but what if they are wrong?
You need to visit your dr. and tell her what is making you feel depressed. You will need medicines to help you feel better.
Have you heard that an idle mind is a devil's workshop? Try to involve yourself in some kind of an activity but after you speak to your doctor!
There must have been times when you felt really sad before but you got through them and you will get through this also. Don't lose hope.

Answer 9

PLEASE GET SOME HELP. And for god's sake do not take the advice of that fellow who tells you to smoke a joint. it's the worst advice i've ever heard. you have to tell someone about this. if you are not at ease at telling your parents get someone else, a relative, a family member with whom you are close, a teacher, a friend. anyone but ask them for help. and also keep a diary. it doesn'thave to be a special dairy just any notebook will be alright. whenever u feel like harming yourself, grab a pen and your diary and write whatevr feelings you are feeling. anything that goes through your mind. even if this got to be swear words write it. it helps believe me. if you don't feel like writing, then you can just take your pen or pencil and draw on the paper. it doesn't have to be an artist's drawing. you can also make any design you want. you van make a large circle and then shade it. concentrate on every bit of the circle and makle sure that there is no single point unshaded. if after that u still feel like hurting yourself make another shape like a triangle. just keep at it and you will feel better. also whenever you feel like this contact someone you trust and tell him everything. or if there is anyone who knows about your condition then contact that person
good luck

Answer 10

I guess you need to get to the bottom of your unhappiness. I'm almost 26 & a self harmer. There are sites to help with self-harm... try www.nshn.co.uk/ also, if you are truly unhappy, see a doctor. You can't carry on like this. 4 years is a long time.