This is REALLY long, but I would really really, greatly appreciate an honest answer, thanks!?

Question

This girl and me were really close, we would stay up till 12 in the mornin talkin sometime, now that mite not be alot, but it is for her, she is homeschooled, I go to public school. Well I asked her to the movies, and she said Idk maybe , and REALLy backed off, she seemed nervous around me, I thought she just didnt wanna hurt my feelings, but she told her friends, she just wants to see if I can stick with her. Well we got further and further apart, until I couldnt stand it anymore and I emailed her, spilled my guts, and asked her to be brutally honest on how she fealt about me, heres what she said

well first of all, I don't hate you. second, I haven't been avoiding you either becuase its not been just swimming that I've been busy with its been life.I also haven't been beating around the bush because you never asked me if I did or not. But I haven't ever thought of being more than friends with you because we've always been good friends and I think thats how things should stay.I just don't want to ruin a friendship.hope you've had a good day, and i will talk to you later

Now, When I read that two things come to mind. One, that she is just trying to be nice. But on the other hand, she is just scared, because she has never had a bf b4, and weve been friends since age 7.

But now she seems more comfortable around me, like now she talks more, and seems more comfortable, but then she'll seem like she wants me, I can tell by the way she looks, and the way she acts, she just seems really sad, and down,

Oh yeah, and she told her mom , that she is just really really scared, and that she does like me, but she told her friends she just dont want to hurt my feelings, now her and her mom are really close, but so are her and her friends, Do you think she likes me, or is just letting me down easy?

And I am respecting her wishes, I emailed her and told her that I respect her decision, and we havent talked about it since.

But I really really do care for her, I wake up and she's the first thing I think about, I go to sleep and Fall asleep thinking about her. I mean I know I'm only 15, but I really do love her, and would do anything in this world to be with her. I've tried moving on, I've been trying to do that, but I just can't. Even though I am am guy, yes I have cried numerous time for her, and about her. I mean, I'm not ugly, I'm fit, and I'm not a big geek or anything, so what gives? I really do love her, what should I do?

Answer 1

wow...you've been mentally poisoned by Disney and John Huges films. First off, I'm sure you do really care about her, but I suggest that you take a break from this a bit.

Move on, and find someone that does want to spend time with you. She told you she wants to be friends and you respect that, great. Focus your time and your affections on someone that does want them, versus someone that doesn't.

Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants. Which is totally understandable since you're both only 15. You've got a lot of time, you'll both get older, she'll meet new people and have boyfriends, you'll meet new people have have girlfriends, you may move away, she may move away. Girl friends will come and go though out your life, friends...true friends will be there forever. Plus it's good to have friends that are girls, since they're great referrals to their friends that you may be interested in.

Not saying to close the book on this, but you both have some (a lot) of growing up and learning to do. Stop worring about this or you'll have an ulsur by the time you graduate high school. Now go out there and learn to shave!

Answer 2

Telling her parents would be a good idea, telling them exactly what you've said here.

I think maybe she has been hurt in the past or something, in a way which you wouldn't know, and so thats why shes so scared, if you do manage to get things going, you should take it real slow.

Shes very lucky to have a guy like you. Don't give up on her. Maybe you might have to wait a while, but you sound like such a sweet guy, and I know you'll get her.

Be gentle with her. Tell her you love her and you're prepared to wait for her and you are there for her if she needs anything at all.

Maybe shes experiencing some sort of problems. Don't be too heavy with her. Just continue to be a good friend. I think she does like you but you will have to be very patient with her. Talk to her parents and tell them this is how you feel.

One day the two of you will be together - take my word for it.

I sincerely wish you the best of luck, you deserve her. Look after her. And whatever you do, don't give up.

Answer 3

This is going to sound so cliche, but here I go anyway.

It's tough being a teenager. Those were the roughest years of many people's lives (including my own). You're on the edge of growing up, and you have desires for a first love. She's likely going through the roughest part of her life as well, and not sure how she feels about things. Teenage horomones start surging at your age and they don't help out anything when you're trying to think things through. Horomones are there to instagate action, and our brains are there to keep things in control. To make things worse, your horomone levels won't stabilize for awhile.

You have a lot of time ahead of you to make rational decisions, and to sssslllloooooowwwwwlllllyyyyyy develope a nice relationship with this young lady. You've already told her how you feel, so now the ball is in her court. If you back off, and show her that you're not going to be pushy about an answer, she might eventually decide that's what she wants. On the other hand, if you push her for an answer, even if it's once a month, she's more likely to back away for good.

Take a deep breath and feel good about yourself, you sound like a nice guy. Take it slow, and let things happen.

Taking it slow as a teenager has to be one of the toughest things to do. I hated taking things slow!

Good luck and a smile, you're a good guy.

Answer 4

From this girl's response, it appears that she doesn't want to be with you right now. But I also understand the idfficulty of entering into a relationship with someone who has never had a legit relationship before. I would suggest trying to just hang out with her more. Ask her to go see a movie, swim together, or even invite other friends so that it is a group thing. The only way you have a chance at starting a relationship with her is to take it slow. Spend time together, and things will naturally fall into place the way they should.

Answer 5

You really have alot of your mind. Maybe your really clean enought to have sex with her once you 2 get ready. she looked shy to me by the way wrote, and she had tried to get into your attention. You see, when we were created, it is like into saying woman for man, thats exactly how, it should be. She's attracted to you, loves the way you act and you attitude, you have no nerdy smarts, just enough wisdom to live on, being smart enough doesn't make you a geek, geeks are senseless, and to think geeks are demons. Love is a hardest thing test in this reality, and you should examine, that, Love is just how satisfying really is. I can't explain the love, it's just always there for you. Your're the one she wants, so give your best time to be with her, without anyone else trying to get her for sex, make her comfortable, don't just make moves, your always on the move anyway, attraction is what everyone goes for, i'm attracted to the women, but, they're attitudes are stupid, if you try to make them good, won't be any use. they'll just laugh and make fun, and tell their fellow demons of what has been seen to their disgrace faces.

Answer 6

you should respect her decision, and just be her friend. She knows how you feel by you asking her out, but in my personal experience, friends should stay friends. I had a friend of 4 years, he asked me out, I was scared to try it, and we dated for 6 months, it shouldn't have gone on that long. Things just weren't the same between us, he acted differently around me, like I was a prize, and I felt like he used me more. On my part, what made me call it to an end, was the fact that I wasn't attracted to him, there was no heat between us. I loved him, but it was his personality that drew me in, and I think the fact that we were friends first made me realize what we had before was alot better. We grew closer with one another, but it also got more awkward, and like I said he took advantage of me. I have another good friend of mine who everyone thinks is in love with me, but I don't want to ruin what we have, he respects that, and in fact we are closer than with the friend I dated. Now, my ex, we haven't spoken since I've broken up with him, I hoped that we could still be friends, but its so hard to go back, cause he was into me more than I was into him. I think that's the same situation here. Why do you have to date her? You love her? Love her then, as a friend, I honestly think and believe that things will be better that way. think about it, boyfriends/girlfriends come and go, and friends seem to always stick around. be there for her, if she ever changes her mind, and realizes what an amazing person you are, she might take that step you took when she is ready to take things further. Dont put more pressure on her, you'll scare her away, and she'll be more distant, like you've already noticed, right? Be there for her as a friend, that way neither of you will get hurt

Answer 7

WOW...i respect u man when i was 15 i could never love a girl the way u love her..usually i just f*** them and leave but thats a diffrent story..this is what i probably would do u should just go to her..face to face and look into her eyes and say w/e her name is and say do u like me as a friend or can we be more than that kiss her on the lips the LIPS not the cheek its corny trust me... turn around and walk away..mostly she'll call u up or email say she like u ....hope that works:)

Answer 8

wow... umm... u should respect her decision more imean that just dr0p it and act like u used to around her. I think she needs some time to decide whether she likes u or not. The first bf is a REALLY big deal and she's afraid that if it didn't work out that u wouldn't be friends any more. Just give her some time

Answer 9

The best thing I can say is that she wants to be friends right now. Give her that space, but remain friends with her (don't ignore her and/or become jerky) and see what develops naturally. Relize that it may never happen, but you ahve to decide if you would rather have her in your life as a friend, or as nothing. Don't pressure her to make a decision. It will suck waiting though.

Good luck

Answer 10

Ok that was long But umm i think you should stay friends with her tilln you 16 and ask he out and then like 2 years latter if your still goingout marry her and say we can not get married till we are out of college but i want you so badly!