I'm not sure whether or not my boyfriend is legal. I know his brother is, but I'm not sure if he is. Would it be rude to ask? I don't want to offend him.
*Note: This is not an immigration debate, so please keep comments like that to yourself. Please just answer the question asked. Thank you.
2006-09-15 08:34:05 · 21 answers · asked by Me 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
It is perfectly legitimate question to ask. Openness and honesty are important to any relationship.
But do think ahead about how you will respond.
If his answer is "No, I'm not legal". If he ask you, "How do you feel about the fact that I'm here illegally?" "Would you marry me?"
If his answer turned out to be "Yes, I'm here legally". "Why do you ask?"
Or if he says "Why do you want to know?"
What would you say in each of the scenario?
2006-09-15 08:44:08 · answer #1 · answered by JQT 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess it would depend how long you have been together, and if you plan to stay together.
Especially if you plan to get married, or have children you need to know for any legal issues, or to get the paperwork started now.
I think if you brought it up in a way that was about your future together he shouldnt be offended. Remeber Mexicans aren't the only imigrants.
My sister in law is a resident alien from Germany.
2006-09-15 15:44:29 · answer #2 · answered by Crystal Violet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to know "out of curiosity" then it is not appropriate.
If you can articluate a real reason for wanting to know;
some way that it affects you, then it is OK to ask.
For example would marriage help him with that status?
People have been used for marriage to gain citizenship.
So I think that is a legitimate issue between you.
You could bring it up more indirectly by asking about voting or whether he votes. Or you could offer to help him with his taxes and stuff like that. As you get closer you will be able to find out easily.
2006-09-15 15:43:39 · answer #3 · answered by Sufi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, not rude at all. If he's your boyfriend you should have at least some level of familiarity with him. Just touch the topic and ask, "so, u legal?". I would not get offended if you asked.
2006-09-15 16:20:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is rude at all. Even a "I was wondering if.." wouldn't be inappropriate to your bf!
However, you can always launch a discussion regarding paying taxes and, if he doesn't, you might have an indication... (not that it is conclusive but certainly leads in one direction....)
2006-09-15 15:43:59 · answer #5 · answered by Geeky Girly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just ask him this way:
"Baby, by the way for how long is your visa? will you have to leave me to go back to your country some day?"
It is not rude, you just have to ask a certain way, I am a foreigner I won't be offended.
2006-09-15 18:54:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's perfectly acceptable to ask him! If he's your boyfriend you have the right because who wants to get involved with somebody who can be deported.
2006-09-15 15:51:05 · answer #7 · answered by Alison 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I agree. If it's your bf, then you should be able to ask. You might carefully consider how you actually approach the question, though.
2006-09-15 15:39:10 · answer #8 · answered by danika1066 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah ask him what if he's not legal and just dissappeared one day at least you'd know what happened
2006-09-15 15:42:42 · answer #9 · answered by arl21amber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are planning to marry this dude or you're in it for the long haul, then no, it's not rude.
If your relationship is superficial and short term, then let your conscience be your guide. (Jiminy Cricket in Pinocchio)
2006-09-15 15:56:58 · answer #10 · answered by SPLATT 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋