A year ago, my boyfriend and I of six months got into a huge argument and broke up. I was so distraught and basically depressed that I slept with another guy the next night because I thought I would never have a chance to be with my ex again. I continued to date this other guy for a month after my ex said that he didn't really mean to break up with me in the beginning. Soon after, I came out of my depression and realized that I still loved the first guy, so we started dating again. After a year of dating, he broke up with me because he still couldn't get over me "cheating" on him. I apoligize, but he started dating another girl. He cheated on this girl with me, and then he flipped out and said he doesn't wanna be friends with me anymore. He's blaming me for his infidelity. I still love him, but more so, I really want to be good friends with him. Please tell me what I can do so I don't lose him.
2006-09-15 08:24:15 · 12 answers · asked by Steph 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You can't lose what you don't have. If it's love, he'll come back. If not, then you don't need to be wasting your time. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Give him so space. He'll see (if he does) that he misses you and come back. If not, you have a great start on the recovery period!!!!!!!
2006-09-15 08:27:51 · answer #1 · answered by Pimp E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, Really he can't blame you for the choices he makes -when he blames you for his infidelity,he was blaming you for his bad decision - he chose revenge over forgiveness & that hurt him & you.So what do the two of you do now? If you still want the first guy then the two of you need to sit down & have a long talk, you both need to admit that both of you made mistakes & that it is time to leave those mistakes in the past & forgive each other. If you want to make love the most important thing in each of your lives - then all other things must be let go -wether it's hurt ,anger , revenge or whatever- it all must be put behind you & each of you must promise to love each other no matter what. If you both can say that to each other - then you have a new beginning . Every relationship will be tested and you each need to make a decision that you can own up to as yours alone without blaming the other for "making me do it" ...Love heals so I sincerely hope both of you choose love...good luck & bye bye
2006-09-15 08:50:55 · answer #2 · answered by Danica Fan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck...this one is complicated....he needs to come to realize that he can't blame you for his infidelity. You didn't cheat on him either you had broken up with him...so he can't justfy anything with that one. Unfortunately he is the one that has issues that need to be worked out and as long as he knows that you want to remain friends with him..that is all that you can do...it will be hard...and will probably end up being more of like a friend that you talk to once in awhile kind of thing.
2006-09-15 08:31:08 · answer #3 · answered by Hydee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing we can tell you to do that will prevent you from losing him. You have already lost him and you certainly deserve it. If you just went out with the other guy it would not have looked so bad. You say you love him but ! day after breaking up you jump into bed with another guy. No ways you deserve what you got. Sorry dear.
2006-09-15 08:33:59 · answer #4 · answered by robsnor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, if you guys broke up, then messing with someone else is not cheating. At that point, the relationship was over. You sleeping with someone else when y'all broke up is not an issue because you didn't cheat, so it shouldn't matter. He can't hold that against you. if he's using that as an excuse for breaking up, then he's not worth your time.
2006-09-15 08:29:44 · answer #5 · answered by Chocolate_Flayva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl ive been in the same sit and trust me you should just give up i sat and waited for a whole year for him to come back to me or even open up to me and he didnt he also cheated no every other girl he was wit wit me and stil to this day he hasnt come back he would sleep wit me and then tell me he hated me its better to just move on and lose all contact trust me i kno its hard but thts wht you have got to do
2006-09-15 08:29:59 · answer #6 · answered by chas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if he can't get over you "cheating" then it's nothing to do about it other than waiting for him to get over it. He might never. All this infidelity stuff should have been avoided. And you can't go from ex to friends. Doesn't work.
2006-09-15 09:20:10 · answer #7 · answered by Magnuna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's already over. He couldn't forgive you. That is his problem but unfortunately you will pay for it. If you stay with him, it will only become his defense every time he screws up the relationship.
2006-09-15 08:30:25 · answer #8 · answered by randyken 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yupp you have a problem. All i can say is it's not your fault he cheated its his. Jus tell him how you feel after that move o, that's all you can
2006-09-15 08:27:52 · answer #9 · answered by Miss k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him once and for all, he can't handle things and wants to blame you for everything.
2006-09-15 08:27:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋