I've been dating the love of my life for 2 and 1/2 years. The other day I found out my new co-worker has slept with him before him and I ever existed. Suddenly I want him to tell me everything about his and her relationship, all the details. Is this weird or normal. I feel as though I don't want her to know anything about him that I don't know and if a story shoud arise I want to have heard it from him first. Should I feel this way, or an I overreacting. Please answer seriously I am finding this quite hard to deal with. Thanks
2006-09-15 07:25:00 · 21 answers · asked by sar 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Aaahhhhh the dilemma of multiple sexual partners. Put yourself in his shoes, how would you feel if he began requiring all the minute details of the men you've previously slept with? He has been with you for 2 1/2 years and I'm sure if he wasn't totally happy with you he'd move on. Furthermore, if it was your co-worker he really wanted, wouldn't he be with her instead? It's a normal reaction, but one we need to relax and let go of.
2006-09-15 07:30:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound a immature and insecure - why are you that way? Answer that about yourself. Being curious about an ex's past relationship is normal, but wanting to know all the details is morbid. Trust me you are better off not knowing (unless he used to abuse her or some such thing, but you'd probably know that by now wouldn't you?). You could ask your bf "What does your ex-gf now about you that I don't?" But be nonconfrontational or even teasing about it. Accept what he tells you whether it is a lot or a little - don't push ofr more...that is a real turn off and crosses the line with privacy etc.
DON"T ask for details - Why you ask?
1) It makes you look immature and insecure and neither are very appealing to a bf
2) What happened before with another gf doesn't matter as long as your bf loves you and has stayed with you 2 1/2 yrs. He obviously prefers you to her.
Grow up, and Good Luck....
2006-09-15 07:51:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I dont believe you are overreacting I think your just a jealous person but thats alright who wouldnt be when you find out your working with someone from your mans past and yes it is normal to wonder but also in a way its better maybe not to know no matter how curious you are all its gonna do is make your man relive the past that he had with that girl its not gonna help your relationship it might even make it go bad because you might start to get a lil mad at him even when you shouldnt cause all thats in the past to make yourself feel better I think you should for sure find another job and if thats not possible ignore the girl and dont listen to her stories or try to ask her questions about it dont hurt yourself more than you are already just look at it this way hes with you not her he comes home to you not her he loves you not her hes your man not hers and thats all that really matters if hes the love of your life dont you think?shes the past and your his future.
2006-09-15 07:32:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's natural to be a little jealous about your man. But what went on in his past relationships if he wasn't involved with you shouldn't be a concern. Especially if you and him have been fine for the past 2.5 years. Now if this woman is trying to bring up things between her and him just to piss you off, then that's another story. She should be dealt with. But never let her know anything personal and keep her at a distance. Don't ever let a nother woman know she is intimidating you. She could use that to her advantage.
2006-09-15 07:28:50 · answer #4 · answered by i have a taste for waffles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is wise to know the hsitory of anyone you are developing a relationship with. You then know more about the person and if they were truthful, there are no suprises! As far as knowing all the details...pro - if your co-worker does say something, you know something about the past; con - do you really want to know everything?
2006-09-15 07:36:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are overreacting. Sure it's normal to be curious about their relationship, but he's yours now, so relax. You don't need to know every detail. Does he know every detail about your past relationships? I doubt it. He tried a relationship with her and it didn't work out, hopefully things will be better for the two of you. If you keep bugging him with questions, he will be so annoyed with you and not want to be with you because of your obsessive behaviour. Don't push him away like that.
2006-09-15 07:30:01 · answer #6 · answered by hello 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't own each other, let alone each other's past. Get over it honey. It seems you don't have much confidence in yourself. Are you saying your boyfriend has bad taste in being with you? You're the one. If this doesn't go away, you may need to talk to a professional. Don't jeopardize what you have with insecurity. It will come back in any future relationship.
I know this is tough talk, but it needed to be said.
2006-09-15 07:29:42 · answer #7 · answered by Tall Guy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's normal for sure. Not to sound rude by just being the devil's advocate, he's not the first guy you were with, is it? Just a cruel coincidence that you met her. Take pride in the fact you're the one with him now and she knows nothing about what you two are about.
2006-09-15 07:36:36 · answer #8 · answered by randyken 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are over reacting. Turn the situation around. Would you want an old boyfriend to tell everything that happened between you and him?
It happened in the past, leave it there.
2006-09-15 07:28:45 · answer #9 · answered by irish_yankee51 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In most cases we all have been with someone else before we meet that special person in our life, One should not love less for that reason
2006-09-15 07:31:07 · answer #10 · answered by Mr. JC 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋