My girlfriend told me the other day that she's having a baby and of course i was shocked and upset b/c she had cheated but then when i asked her who the baby's father was she told me it was my brother. Now i don't know what to do b/c i really love her and want to support her but i don't trust her now and i hate my brother and if i stayed with her i would have to bring up my brothers baby which i will find impossible to do. What do you think i should do?
2006-09-15 06:57:19 · 105 answers · asked by Busty Blonde 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
dump her ***! in a nice way though..
2006-09-15 06:59:15 · answer #1 · answered by Aroran 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
First of all, when you said you loved her do you mean love as in a friend or as in a relationship...I do not blame you for being mad that the both of them hid this from you....I can understand that you feel like you've been betrayed and lied to...what you should do is sit down with the two of them and talk things through...if you feel that you can't be around the two of them because it makes you uncomfortable then go some place where you can avoid them and be alone...As far as having to raise your brother's child, you should not take it out on the baby...he/she did not have any part in this and it's not the baby's fault...as an aunt you should love the baby unconditionally no matter how much it hurts you that it is your ex-gf and brother's baby....just be mature as far as that part and I'm pretty sure they feel just as bad as you do...just give them a chance to explain their side of the story...but like I said you don't have to stick around if you're not comfortable....
2006-09-15 07:03:04 · answer #2 · answered by lilsweetone619 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all your girlfriend's gone and thrown in her lot with your brother. This is something you'll not be able to change. This has become her mess, and that of your brother. You can distance yourself from the two of them altogether: whatever messes they make, they'll have to clean up all by themselves, and you're under no obligation to help either of them in any way.
Dump her as your girlfriend. Keep her on as a friend - a distant friend, an acquaintance or associate, nothing more intimate. Chide your brother for his stupidity, but do nothing else.
But whatever you do, if they decide to keep the baby, don't harm that child. It's an innocent, and it's not to know that its conception destroyed one friendship, weakened another family bond.
As far as it knows, you'd be the most loving auntie any child could have, and let his or her parents silently bear the guilt and shame for the rest of their days.
2006-09-15 07:14:27 · answer #3 · answered by fiat_knox 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really feel sorry for you to be honest, this is a terrible thing that cud happen to anyone it does seem like something you would read in a magazine or on a springer show though.You say you love her but she cant love you to do something like this to you! If she really did love you she wouldnt have even taught about ure brother in any other way only as ure brother. You cant even be thinking of staying with this girl, what will happen if she feels like sleeping with half your mates the next time are you just going to say "but i love her" this baby will always be ure brothers no matter what you try and do it will always be in the back of your mind, are you ready to have years of being unhappy and always wondering where she is or who she is with, i dont think its worth the pain. you need to meet someone who you can trust, who genuinely loves and cares for you and someone you can have a future with there is someone out there who can make you happy you just have to be brave enough to cut all ties with this girl and move on. best of luck i do hope that things work out for you whatever the outcome i hope that you will be happy!
2006-09-15 07:57:33 · answer #4 · answered by EMMA O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Double ouch. I think you should get away from them and do some serious thinking, after you deal with your intense feelings for her, your brother and your neice/nephew. Here are the questions you need to answer honestly:
1. Why should you spend the remainder of your life supporting your (ex-)girlfriend who has betrayed you?
2. Why should you allow your brother to shirk his duty by devoting your time and money to supporting his child?
Keep in mind that this child is not your responsibility by any stretch of the imagination, and certainly not by the law.
Your heart is giving you mixed messages at a very intense level. Find a quiet place and time to wind down the intensity of the messages, then think this through logically. You need your head to be in control for a long while. Your goal is to come up with the best answer(s) for you. You need to know these goals, be comfortable with them, write them down if you have to, and stick to those goals.
2006-09-16 21:45:34 · answer #5 · answered by Jeff C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you two love each other, then try and work through it. Only, only, only, if she is very sorry and means that she will not ever cheat on you again. If you really love her I would try and work it out. My husband hit me so hard my face swelled up one time and that really made me mad, so for revenge I slept with his brother. I know now that, that was the worst thing I could have ever done. And I am sorry for it and have asked God to forgive me. I do not think what she did was right, but no one is perfect and everone makes mistakes. It just depends if we first ask for forgiveness and then make sure we have learned from our mistake, so we don't repeat it or similar ones.
2006-09-15 07:05:59 · answer #6 · answered by Marie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's really hard. I'd say you have to end the relationship. The child will be a constant reminder of what happened, and it wouldn't be fair to you or it.
As far as your g/f and your brother are concerned, f*** 'em. Both of them should have known better. I don't blame you for hating them, but maybe contempt would be a better thing for them. It's hard to leave somebody you love, but I think this thing might take the train off the tracks anyway. It'll just be more heartbreak if you try to stick around and make something work.
2006-09-15 07:01:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you feel better if it weren't your brother's baby? I suggest that you really think about the whole situation before you make a quick decision. Do you love her enough to forgive her and move on or should you just leave before it gets all complicated? I wouldn't trust her because once a cheater always a cheater in my book. Maybe she just wanted to have a kid and used him to get one? You are a girl right? Anyway, go with your gut feelings. GOOD LUCK!!
2006-09-15 07:04:45 · answer #8 · answered by geminiblue26 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be angry with your girlfriend too, not only your brother. It takes two to tango.
Talk to her and tell her how you feel, everything you've said here and ask her what she thinks you should do.
You have to think about whether you trust her not to cheat on you again, if she did it once its likely she will do it again. Ask her. If she sounds really sincere then maybe she won't.
If you decide to stay with her, maybe your feelings about the baby may change after its born?
2006-09-16 21:55:49 · answer #9 · answered by lakmii 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think the relationship would ever work out! Not only has she been unfaithful to you, she has gone and got herself pregnant by your brother!? She will be the mother of your niece or nephew but she no longer needs to be part of your life. The sooner you get away from her and get on with your life the better! It will be hard at first as obviously you have such strong feelings for her but given time you will move on. Good Luck!
2006-09-18 23:13:07 · answer #10 · answered by KAZ M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not one that's going to go away.
You must make peace with both your brother and 'your girlfriend'. The three of you must decide together, what is right for the child first and then what is right for the adults involved.
I love my brother's children and would do anything for them. They are family, flesh and blood. A rash decision now will be regreted for the rest of your life. Get some help.
Good luck.
2006-09-15 07:02:03 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋