All his life I used violence to express myself and to get what I wanted from him. But now that he is getting older (17) he has learned to fight back and he is stronger than me and he can beat the ****** *** ****** out of me and it hurts so bad. How can I just sort of start over with him? I can't live with these beatings.
2006-09-15 06:30:08 · 23 answers · asked by Dialup, Avatar, Jones! 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You just need something bigger than your fist.....a 2x4 should work great!!!!
2006-09-15 08:00:41 · answer #1 · answered by arl21amber 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should both go to anger management. Then you can work on building a relationship.
You need to find commonality, things that you both like to do other than beating people up (oops, that slipped out). Perhaps you should both take boxing lessons together :).
I would start by organizing a camping trip for just the two of you. Somewhere remote where they won't find your bod.... (damn that slipped out too).
Really, camping trips where you both have to work together and rely on each other will help establish a peer relationship, which I think is the best you can hope for).
2006-09-15 07:12:18 · answer #2 · answered by patweb01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like he regrets him being an father you loved him but he did not love you he was just in for the pleasure the best thing is to let him be even if he stays with you he will not be an good father or an good person its time that you took maters to you own hands an man who does not want to be an man cant be your husband you are better of alone but if you patch it up call him and plan the child's birthday for him and tell him he needs his father for the child's first birthday and talk to him about the feature of the child it may work or dump him you are better alone
2016-03-27 02:28:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's your blood and he should be made aware of the same remind him life is short .Yelling,screaming never solved any thing it just shows lack of respect and lack of
control evidently by the beatings, perhaps as a boy he requires a male rolemodel,don't get me wrong on this one but after awhile being around mom 24-7 it will take it's
toll.Enroll him in as many activities as he can bear.
Idle hands=idle minds /busy hands= busy minds
2006-09-15 07:01:52 · answer #4 · answered by bumble b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he got his violent temper naturally. you kind of brought this upon yourself for not being loving, caring and nuturing towards him.
but, by no means should anyone have to take violence in their lives. if it is that bad, then call the cops on your son in order to get the violence to stop.
although, calling the cops is not the answer, seeking out professional counseling, family group therapy, speaking with a doctor, going to anger management classes would help the both of you. because it sounds like you both have severe problems controlling your anger. if financial problems are reasons for not getting help there are plenty of agencies throughout the US and other countries that can get you the help you need for free. you just have to be willing to admit that you have a problem.
2006-09-15 06:49:33 · answer #5 · answered by navymilitarybrat76 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should both go to counsling both indiviual and family thearpy. I mean come on... what do you expect kids learn from their parents. Your question makes me sick... If you don't get counsling make sure he does. He very well could take out anger on his girlfriend later his wife and their children. He needs help if you couldn't leave him alone when he was growing at least give him a chance to end the violence that was in your home so it doesn't happen in his adult home.
2006-09-15 06:58:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that the both of you need some professional help. That's not a put-down. It will help you find ways to communicate with your son. Him talking to you now is HIS choice, not yours now! He has an independent mind of his own, and he will make decisions, whether you want him to or not. The most important thing is that you do not use any more violence, and that your recovery is not halted by any negative decisions he may choose to make.
2006-09-15 06:35:51 · answer #7 · answered by Dragoness A 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well ,i may be living in the old world .My parent beat me when i was young and that is what made me today .And it did not turn me against my parents i was doing things wrong and they helped the society to correct me by beating me instead of allowing to turn into a bad egg and today i am not a statistic to the world in generally.I am not encouraging un justisfied beatings.I still love parents .So let him give a break.Well make he understand why you were dong it and at the same time keep your dignity.
2006-09-15 06:45:31 · answer #8 · answered by lit22lily 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You reap what you sow. You're the one who taught him to be that way. If he's seventeen, it may well be too late to change things, but it's not too late to try.
My best advice is to check out Dale Carnegie's classic book, "how to win friends and influence people". One of the tales in that book concerns a father who had made numerous mistakes, and who wanted to repair his relationship with his estranged son.
The principle involved was, "If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically". See the book for more details.
2006-09-15 06:42:17 · answer #9 · answered by Bramblyspam 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
Id get a bat and come at him from behind when he's in the kitchen making a sandwich or something, beat him senselessly until he stops moving, then id get a shovel and have catfishalomar jr help you dig the hole...that should teach him a lesson
2006-09-15 07:34:27 · answer #10 · answered by Mrs.♥ Krasinski 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to apologize to him, and REALLY mean it. Then you need to go to anger managment classes like your life depends on it and stop taking your crappy life out on your kid.
Oh and take some parenting classes.
You know its ppretty funny that you want to be nice to him but only now that he can fight back. So pathetic.
2006-09-15 06:55:14 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋