The guy I'm seeing is anti-'relationships' but we have one. We do all of the things that a couple does, everything, meet the friends, sleep over, help each other out when needed, go to the grocery ect ect.. you name it, we do it. We've even specified that we're exclusive.
Yet, he can't call it a relationship. No titles. (boyfriend girlfriend)
I understand it's because his last girlfriend really screwed with him.
But honestly men, if you have the relationship, including the responsibility from being exclusive does not having titles really help? What's the point in this?
2006-09-15 06:24:18 · 20 answers · asked by attila 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
by the way, not having the title only bothers me because I don't understand why not haha.
Doesn't upset me, and when people do refer to us as boyfriend/girlfriend it only seems to bother him for a split second if at all
2006-09-15 06:27:41 · update #1
response to answers
If we've decided we're exclusive there is no door to cheat. We've discussed that, to us exclusive is exclusive no one else allowed.
As for me pushing titles.. i don't. Honestly i've never brought it up to him. I'm just wondering if when worried about commitement does it really help that much, esp if we're already exclusive which to most people is a commitment... just wondering.
2006-09-15 06:34:32 · update #2
It's really up to you.
Whatever makes you happy, and keeps the peace in the relationship.
2006-09-15 06:25:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your guy is afraid. He is afraid of being hurt so he pretends that, if he doesn't call it a relationship he will be safe from heartache. You appear to have run into yet another person who makes the classic blunder of blaming the new girl for the sins of the last one. Women do this too... I mean look at how many yahoo answers women post the "why are all guys *******" question.
If it is important to you that you be able to broadcast that this guy is your boyfriend then you should tell him so. Tell him in no uncertain terms that being his girlfriend is important to you and that you need him to publicly acknowledge that you are dating and that he is your boyfriend. If he can't handle that and bolts on you then you really didn't have a solid relationship at all. Better to learn that now before you waste any more time on this guy and his mental/emotional problems.
As long as your expectations about what a relationship is and what you can expect from a man are reasonable, and it sounds like you are not asking too much, I don't think you should deny your real feelings merely because you are afraid that you might say the wrong thing to this guy and make him break up with you.
2006-09-15 06:34:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, perhaps he's wondering why you need the titles - does having the titles really make a difference to your relationship?
A lot of men will find it easier to just 'see' someone rather than have a girlfriend, because they get the relationship without the pressure that labelling sometimes brings.
It all depends on what you want from it, and if you see the relationship going where you want it to, the fact that you are questioning his fear of being girlfriend/boyfriend would suggest not.
Time for a proper chat with him maybe?
2006-09-15 06:31:10 · answer #3 · answered by Leo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is a silly misconception. I'm sure you've heard the ever-popular quote from Romeo and Juliet. "What's in a name?"
Remember, if it walks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, then it is a rabbit. Those are his thoughts anyway.
I think he is being narrow-minded, simply because he is afraid that titling the relationship will bring forward the troubles and issues of a common one. No relationship, whether or not it's titled, is perfect. Maybe he sees that things are good, and he doesn't want to ruin it. He has to figure out that things between you two are gonna run their course, no matter what you call the relationship you do have.
It sounds like he still has some growing up to do.
Good luck
2006-09-15 06:41:27 · answer #4 · answered by L Jeezy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From your description, it sounds like he's really been hurt. He may have cared about his ex more than you think. So, now he's trying to avoid that pain with you by avoiding what he feels caused him the pain - "the relationship". Making it official with you is a big risk from that point of view.
Never mind the fact that all of life is a risk. That's logic. Logic won't work with him - he's running from an emotional pain. Talk to him and see if coming up with different terms that you like would help - like instead of calling him your boyfriend, since you are exclusive would he agree to you calling him your steady? I know - old fashioned, but you've gotta try something, right? You could even give him the fun of making up something for you to call each other, as long as you both know it means the other one is special. Good luck!
2006-09-15 06:34:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-15 00:54:56 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it could be just the word (girlfriend) that scares him, but on the other hand that makes no sense if you and him are together and do all couple things. My advice would be to tell him that you understand about his past hurt, but that you are not her and if him and you are going to last then the relationship should be what it is with titles. Good Luck.
And they say Women are hard to figure out...HA
2006-09-15 06:28:38 · answer #7 · answered by GreeneyedCowgirl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So what title would you like?
Boyfriend / girlfriend doesn't cut it for adults, makes it sound like you're back in school.
Lover doesn't cover all the facets.
Significant Other is out of the question (I hate all that PC crap).
F u c k-buddy offends some people.
So...what title did you have in mind?
2006-09-15 06:39:17 · answer #8 · answered by Sheik Yerbouti 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why can't it just be what it is. Must you put a title to it. Just call it a thing. As long as you and him know what going on and your both honest with each other then it's kewl. Why would i worry about what everyone else has to say..
2006-09-15 06:30:30 · answer #9 · answered by MIA 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not a man but as a woman that is a door for him to cheat if something better comes along. He will say when he gets a new woman I told you from the beginning that we are not boyfriend & girlfiend.
2006-09-15 06:30:34 · answer #10 · answered by "karma" 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋