I am her God mother and she is my pride and joy, I love her more than anything, I may have spoiled her to much. My brother and sis-in-law just had their second little girl about a month ago, I cant even hold her without the other one getting soooo upset, I do not have kids, and dont know how to handle this. Please help!!!!
2006-09-15 05:53:57 · 17 answers · asked by J. J 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
this is very normal, she has had all your attention and now she fears she will loose it all. As you are holding the baby say things like this is like holding you all over again when you were little, I hope she turns out just like you, she has your hair, your nose....refer to it as comparing and say I never would trade you but I am so glad we have another little one, won't this be fun to watch her grow....say things that involve her. Also say things like imagine what we can do when she is big enought to do things with you and I, won't that be a lot of fun to take her with us! She will begin to realize that it is still the same just another one with her....... good luck
2006-09-15 05:59:36 · answer #1 · answered by ladynamedjane 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She is 8 years old, that is old enough to understand that you have enough love for 2 or 100 children. Explain this to her, that no matter how much you love the new baby she will always have a very special place in your heart. Include her when you spend time with the baby and ask for her help in taking care of the baby. She probably just feels like someone is taking her place so let her know that is not the case. And by the way, there is nothing wrong with spoiling her, but there is a big difference between spoiling and allowing to be a brat. You need to figure out which one she is. Good Luck and God Bless.
2006-09-15 16:30:24 · answer #2 · answered by Blessed 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, on the one hand you need to reassure her, that she as an individual and the oldest is still very special in her own right and that nothing has changed in that respect.
Secondly you could help her understand how important she will be to her younger sister - she will look up to her and admire her and she can show her what to do.
Thirdly, one technique that works when you don't want to be too disciplinary with the child (especially one that is not yours), is to quietly point out that she is not behaving very grownup ly and that you would have expected a big grown up eight year old to be doing this and that and helping look after her little sister. This form seems to work very well when said to children by an older person they admire who is not their parent. I have seen it stop full on tantrums.
She will adjust in time, don't worry. Give her attention but don't over indulge bad behaviour. Give her lots of praise when she behaves sweetly. IT may be that she is only getting attention at the moment when she is naughty or stroppy. You can show that good behaviour gets the most attention and complements.
2006-09-15 12:59:42 · answer #3 · answered by Bebe 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that in some ways we are all spoiled, it just depends on the extent. It's a normal reaction for an older sibling to be jealous when a new baby comes along. Take her out and do something special with just her, and let her know that the new baby isn't taking her place that you love them both equally. Showing her some extra attention may be just what she needs to curb her attitude towards the new baby.
2006-09-15 12:58:29 · answer #4 · answered by GoodJob 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I am understanding this correctly, this is your God daughters sister? I think I would give asking the older girls advice a try. "Does baby like to be held this way?" "Show me how to hold the bottle". "Where do you keep the clean diapers?" It may take some time but she will come around and realize she is not being replaced. Take her shopping for baby gifts and remember to get something extra special for the older girl. Good luck.
2006-09-15 13:11:23 · answer #5 · answered by eeyoreshunni 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be fair. Play with the older one first and then hold the little one for a while...encourage her to help you in carrying her and all..this will help the two to bond and make her understand why it's important that she should help her little sister instead of being a hindrance. Try and allow her to interact with the child more, and fear not about the little ones safety - children are by nature, cautious but occasionally ignorant of some basic facts. Let her be supervised and play with both of them together. It should help.
2006-09-15 13:37:02 · answer #6 · answered by cradle2resurrection 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you've done enough to make that brat idolize you. She knows she runs the show when it comes to you and wants the relationship of you buying her presents and spoiling to continue. Ignore her and don't spoil the child so much.
P.s. I'm sure you do get a little charge from her wanting you and you need to nip it in the bud, it's unhealthy and only giving her social problems.
2006-09-15 12:57:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That happens at time when one kid has had u all there life they think they own you so when another kid comes around becuase they have not got you to yourself they do not like it and they think they are gonna loose you so u need to keep the same amout of love to both children so they can still see that you love both of them.
2006-09-15 12:56:56 · answer #8 · answered by Snow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
eight years old is a little too old to be acting like that. Just continue to give her lots of love but let her know the baby needs love too.
2006-09-15 12:57:24 · answer #9 · answered by amerisegennivie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
explain to her that you love them both the same amount and want to spend time with both of them. she'll probably get over it but because the baby is so new it will take time. just give them both equal love and attention
2006-09-15 12:56:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋