my dad owes the bank lots of money and my mum has to help him to pay them.
my dad changes jobs regularly thus sometimes not bringing home money.
my mum wants divorce and asks me to choose who to follow.
i would naturally choose to follow her, if not for the fact that my favourite grandma is following my dad. i dont think i can bear to leave my grandma, what should i do????
2006-09-15 05:42:23 · 13 answers · asked by sakuraspark 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
and, my father had other women outside too.
the debt amounts up around 30k or more.
2006-09-15 05:57:18 · update #1
you are stuck your in a win or lose situation damned if you damned if you dont...i feel sorry for you...you need to look into your heart and see where you want to be
2006-09-15 05:47:42 · answer #1 · answered by chew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for you. But feeling bad is no help. If you do not want your family to be broken apart, do something. First, do you want your parents to be divorced? Second, is the situation so bad that nothing can be done? Try talk to your dad to see what he thinks. If he thinks he is having a problem, and wants change, than find help from professional. There are lots of help from personal financial agents. Get your mom involved. Both of you can be overseers or encourager for your dad. Go thru this as a whole family. Don't just blame anyone or pity yourself.
2006-09-15 12:56:42 · answer #2 · answered by lekmay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like the issue is more than just money. Maybe you can suggest counseling. Also, depending on the laws where you live and what the debt is, getting a divorce will not necessarily relive her mother from the financial obligations of your father. If they do split up, you need to go with whoever can provide you the best environment for your future. Maybe spend the school year with mom and the summers with dad.
2006-09-15 12:47:44 · answer #3 · answered by wmichgrad 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad caused all the problems..so follow (live with) your mum. Stability is important in a kids life and your Grandma will understand that. She will find a way to contact you after the dust has settled. Besides...divorces usually means visitation rights.....so its not like you'll never see your father again or her either.
2006-09-15 12:53:39 · answer #4 · answered by Scully 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your mum,, she alone can help you,,, and your family..
If she has a good earning,,, why not just help your dad,,, You are a family,,, so be a family not just for the better but also for the worst.
If they were married, they have that solemn vow,,, for better or for worse..
Ask your mum.. but if they are not married,, then maybe your mum will not consider,, but you have to try your best to talk to her,,, if she loves him,,,then she should not be blaming your dad for not bringing in the bacon so much as your mum..
Good luck,,
2006-09-15 12:46:49 · answer #5 · answered by yulnores 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should encourage your mom and dad to see a counselor and not let your mom jump to the conclusion of disvorce cuz tell her in the long run she can get another husband and ur dad another wife but u or ur siblings (if any) will never get a new dad or mom and that the love they will give you now is now separated so now you'll never get 100% love from them.but try your best and have her reconsider.... Take Care now
2006-09-15 13:08:09 · answer #6 · answered by ryan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't fair that you are being made to feel this way. And whatever happens to them it should be about who will like or want to see you after it is all over. And if they do feel like that and then not want to see you. Go see a doctor or talk to someone and forget about them. Love like that should not come with any type of conditions.
2006-09-15 12:45:57 · answer #7 · answered by jasmine b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get conciling because money is no reason to get a divorce. My friend had the same problem. But it is also not right for the mom to only work!
2006-09-15 12:45:45 · answer #8 · answered by ty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't take sides, follow your heart my sweet. You're a part of the family, ask your Grandma not to take sides for you're sake & to keep the peace
2006-09-15 13:45:28 · answer #9 · answered by tildypops 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when parents get divorced that doesn't mean kids get to divorce the family also-
live with your mom but stay in touch with dad & grandma
2006-09-15 12:45:42 · answer #10 · answered by gabby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋