couldn't imagine how I could have dealt with having to fend for kids, etc. So, how do you handle it all? How do you de-stress, unwind, etc. Isn't it overwhelming??????
2006-09-15 05:06:52 · 9 answers · asked by Salsa 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have never considered myself to be a Super woman. I do work full time, have two children, a husband, 4 pets and a house to run. My children each go to extracurricular activities 3 times per week. Their father and I both try to always attend, but if not, I always do. I do the lion's share of the housework and have found if I clean daily it just works best, since the house is never in shambles that way. I throw a load of laundry in before work and put it in the dryer when I get home, as well as start another load. I stay busy until about 8 p.m. then my husband and I take a shower together, get the kids off to bed(they are 6 and 8) and cuddle up in bed. We talk, give each other massages, watch a bit of television and then make love. I love my life as it is, I couldn't imagine it any other way.
2006-09-15 05:15:18 · answer #1 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is. Overwhelming, that is. And one has to make a conscious decision to let some things slide.
It is NOT possible to do everything, every day, for everyone. So that it is important to play with the children, see that the children are washed, get them into bed, but not so important that all the dishes are washed, rinsed, dried, and put away.
And there has to be a day, every so often, in which the children are looked after by someone else, so that the parent(s) can unwind and enjoy adult conversation and X-rated movies and so on.
And as soon as the children are able to understand that they can put their toys away and have a nice neat room, they get to help do grown-up work. Ditto for dishes and other small jobs that loom large in the child's eye and bring large rewards for Mummy down the road.
And when they are six they can start helping with dinner, so that by the time they are ten they can proudly prepare a meal every so often. Again, a learning experience that is seen as fun and important by the child.
Most important, though:
1)Do NOT bring your work home - do not heap details upon Daddy about
the stupid customer, the incompetent secretary etc. - not only will your spouse turn off, but the children will pick up on the fact that Daddy does not listen to Mummy and so - they can behave that way as well. If you have serious problems at work that add to your stress level - talk to your employee(s), your superior and/or a therapist.
2)Do NOT socialize excessively with your coworkers because you want to avoid stress at home - you will end up with someone thinking the opportunity for a score exists with you, which is infinitely more stressful.
It is wonderful to be able to have a career, but if one also has children one has to balance one's responsibilities in favour of the children, not the job.
2006-09-15 05:42:48 · answer #2 · answered by kerangoumar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you find out, let me know. I am doing the house, the kid, the job and I am TIRED and irritable and wondering the same thing.
My house isn't a showplace. My son could see me more often. My husband wonders where the woman he married went. Me? I am learning to say no, take time for me even if the house isn't perfect, and to work less and spend more time with my family living instead of existing. I take time to make sure things are well-organized, we divide up responsibilities around here like shopping, laundry, lawn, etc. and sometimes just make a choice to let something slide. You certainly learn to prioritize and learn that you and no one else is perfect. I still get less sleep than anyone in the house and do 75% or more of everything. Right now it is worth it to me, but I changed jobs to a job that better fits in with parenting and my life. I am making less money now, but gaining more in my life. It is such a balancing act, isn't it?
Basically I think people that do it with young kids just walk around perpetually exaughsted every day and just go until they sleep and go again until either the kids grow up or the marriage collapses or their health caves in and they are forced to rethink their plan.
2006-09-15 05:15:37 · answer #3 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try and get a routine going, cook for a couple of days, when you come home, start dinner, home work ,while dinner is cooking, Put in a load of laundry, after dinner, talk and play with kids for 1/2 hour, then it is bath time, then story time, to bed they go, then that is Mommy time! Get you a nice hot bath, play some old school music, lite you a candle. after that read a chapter in a good, juicy book, or watch your favorite TV show. do some thing that you like, or just cool out in the bed, and meditate.
2006-09-15 05:34:41 · answer #4 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Superwomen might be able to do many things, but it's not really a rewarding life. I've learned that I can jungle many things, but never really enjoy or master anything I'm doing. Remember the saying "Jack of all trades, master of none?" And even if you're great in everything you do, you aren't going to really obsorb and enjoy what you are doing. You're just flitting from one thing to another and ending up exhausted (and not in a good way). You're not giving your full concentration to anything you're doing. And other things in your life might suffer or not get your full presence and focus.
I learned this lesson now that I'm back in school doing post-graduate work. My professor told me to take only a few classes. Of course the "super woman" in me wanted to overload the classes so I can get out sooner, but I took my professor's advice this semester and limited myself to a few classes. I am actually absorbing and really understanding and enjoying what I'm learning this year. I am fully present in my classes. I have taken my professor's advice toward other aspects of my life and it truly has made a difference. By limiting myself in what I do, I've found my relationship with my husband has improved.
In your situation, maybe consider cutting back on something. Because in the grand scheme of things, your relationship with your family is going to matter most. And if you're an exhausted mom, that's not benefiting yourself or the family. Your husband doesn't want an exhausted wife. Your kids dont want an exhausted mom. They want YOU fully there and alive!I grew up with a "superwoman" mom and honestly, I would never wish that on my kids or my spouse. It wasn't a pleasant environment.
So, in short, yeah, maybe there are women that can "do it all" but I wouldn't really envy their lives!
2006-09-15 05:25:24 · answer #5 · answered by Michele W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i work full time and i have 2 kids , i also do all the house work from cooking to cleaning . i put my kids to bed by 9:00pm and spend about an hour just sitting there . or i take a bath and light some candles if i am really streessed . it usually works.
2006-09-15 05:10:54 · answer #6 · answered by ms01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it can be....and you are exhausted...but most of the time..you get used to it...luckily I have an awesome husband that helps me with everything! Sometimes I just want to gel and do nothing...which I can occassionally and it feels awesome....:)
2006-09-15 05:12:52 · answer #7 · answered by Hydee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes correct---but you chose to have these kiddos and you chose to return to the workplace---its is your life---just pull up those bootstraps--and when u have time---take a nice long bath with candles---that is about all u will get---until the youngest is 18
2006-09-15 05:10:51 · answer #8 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ALWAYS FOUND TIME FOR MYSELF. WALKING, MUSIC, HOTTUB, A DRINK, A NAP.
2006-09-15 05:21:33 · answer #9 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋