So the other day my mom told me she is lesbian, but she is still married to my dad & doesnt plan on leaving?

Question

do i tell him?

Answer 1

No. Would you want your parents meddling in your love life. Your parents still love you. That's the most important thing. Keep it that way.


And frankly, I appreciate your mother's courage in tellling you, as long as she isn't bad mouthing your dad.

Answer 2

Well, I would stay out of it for now. This is something that your parents need to discuss on their own and soon! Your mom being a lesbian isn't bad, but if she is cheating on your dad then there will be huge problems. Try to steer clear of getting involved for now.
Talk to your mom. Ask her when she plans on telling dad what's up. If the answer is never, try to convince her that dad has a right to know. It's his life and his heart she is messing with. Let her know that you can't let her lead dad on thinking everything in life is peachy and give her a time frame to tell him, or you will. Then wait. If mom doesn't fess up in the allotted time then maybe you will need to have a sit down with dad.
You are in a very difficult situation and I hope you can handle it OK. Good luck :)

Answer 3

I'm sorry that this may come off as offensive, but I think this was an example of being a very poor parent on your mother's part, & an even poorer spouse. She should have never put you in this situation. Even if you're a grown woman, she's still your mother & should have never made you feel like you had to choose if you should tell your father or keep this secret. I also feel that it sounds liek your mother is using your father for financial stability, & cheating on him. It may hurt him to find out, but he deserves to know. If you kept this secret for her, you'd be no better than she is for doing this to him. In your situation, I would have to say "you tell him, or I will". Give it a week, & then if she hasn't come clean with your father, ask him right in front of her if she ahs told him the truth about being lesbian. At least that way, your conscience will be clean, & he can choose if he wishes to be used by someone who is cheating on him & obviously doesn't reciprocate his feelings.

Answer 4

Your mom is a manipulative, selfish witch and has an addiction challenge. merely ignore approximately her rants and communicate approximately you, your mn and your wedding ceremony. She is hoping that by ability of asking you to "ignore what I reported and don't challenge"which you unquestionably WILL challenge and supply her some greater interest. do not fall into the catch and don't, decrease than any circumstances, enable her to return or maybe circulate to you on your new homestead till she cleans up her act or you will not at all get her out!i'm particular each and every physique examining your question would be praying that she does not reason a scene on the marriage. provide your dad particular hugs and supply him capability besides.he's going to confirm on it.may be sensible to furnish a "heads up" to as many human beings you could to water down mom's beverages at wedding ceremony reception and save her far off from the bar, additionally watch watch she's tipping into her orange juice and occasional formerly the rite! that is for her very own solid.

Answer 5

Hard question,but if your dad is happy, I would let well enough alone. You should let your mom tell him when she is ready or let your dad find out on his own. I don't think this is something your mom should of told you to start with, this isn't something you burden your children with. Good Luck

Answer 6

maybe he already knows, sometimes in a couples life they come to a certain point where they are getting nothing satisfying out of their relationship. but, they still love each other and don't want a divorce, so they decide to "open" their relationship towards others. might be why ur mom isn't moving out. don't worry about the "title" or any of it. if it works itself out, they will be back together if not then comes the big "d".....but it's not ur place to say anything...regardless of what happens. don't take sides. love them both...and it'll be ok..best of luck.

Answer 7

Nope - not your place to tell him, unless you ask her first. If she hasn't already told him, then it needs to come from her. Ask her permission to discuss this with your dad - her feelings need to be considered as well. If she HAS already told him, or if he already knew/suspected, then you'll need to talk over your feelings with him because I'm sure you'll feel hurt that they both kept it from you. Good luck. Have compassion. Don't make snap judgements or say things you will regret down the road. Be kind.

Answer 8

she should be the one to tell him.. but is he capable of handling the news.. maybe she isn't telling him for a reason relating to his physical or mental health.. but if she wasn't planning on getting the secret of completely she shouldn't have told you either, and she shouldn't expect you to compromise your values by lying to your father.

Answer 9

Maybe she told you so you would tell him. I would stay out of it. You don't want to be in the middle of that. I don't know how old you are, but if you are still in the house that must be very awkward. If your out, definitely stay out of it.

Answer 10

i think your mom should have this conversation with your dad- they need to work it out- tell your mom to talk to your dad